2

I realize my peaceful morning now exists only in dreams, so I get up and clean myself up.

Life is boiling in the kitchen, along with the children’s shouting. No, they’re not trying to yell at each other on purpose, they just have loud, squeaky voices overloaded with bursting emotions. So whenever they try to tell something, they end up shouting over one another.

Sitting down on an empty chair, I notice the worried look on Vicky’s face.

“Nazar, are you sure you can handle it? I can ask Valentina…”

“Of course I’m sure!” I declare seriously, looking into the girl’s blue eyes. “The kids and I adore each other! What could possibly happen?”

“I don’t know,” she throws her hands up emotionally. “Anything could happen to them! They’re everywhere and into everything, you get distracted for a second and that’s it! And you… well, you’re you!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” I blink, caught off guard by that statement.

It pisses me off that I’m not always taken seriously. So what if I’m thirty-seven and single! Maybe I just haven’t met the one I’d be ready to perform heroic feats for. Sure, it’s not like I’m dying to dive into diapers and baby wipes, but theoretically, I could!

“Sorry,” my brother’s wife sighs, realizing she’s pushing too hard and starting to offend me. “It’s just that I’m leaving them alone for the first time, and I’m very worried. I know you love each other, and you’re their favorite uncle and idol, but I just can’t calm down. Promise me that if you feel like you can’t handle it, you’ll contact Valentina and your dad,” she looks at me pleadingly, and that look is impossible to resist. Like that damn cat from Shrek!

“Fine,” I give in, rolling my eyes. “If anything happens, of course I’ll reach out! In two weeks, we’ll visit them a couple of times anyway.”

“Great!” my friend smiles charmingly, her blue eyes lighting up. She’s beautiful. And with the years, she only gets more beautiful, more refined and… more delicious. My brother’s lucky. Just think, I could’ve been in his place. “That’ll make me feel better. And call us every day!”

“Yes, ma’am!” I salute like a soldier and see my brother enter the kitchen for his wife.

“Alright, I’ve loaded the suitcases, time to head out,” my twin reports.

“Okay, let’s sit down for the road,” Vicky asks, looking pleadingly at Kirill.

Oh, these women and their superstitions!

After sitting for a short while in the living room, giving me a whole bunch more instructions and tearfully saying goodbye to the kids, the pair finally leave their home, putting me in charge. When I see their car drive out past the gates of the mansion, I let out a relieved sigh. Turning around, I see three curious little faces and the equally curious furry muzzle of the Australian Shepherd.

“So then, you little bandits, what are we going to do with Uncle Nazar?”