Chapter 3

Present time *

The University Library was pin drop silent. I could hear my own breathing and the sound of the keyboard clicking. It was a Friday night. Which University student would allow themselves to spend the night at the library, I guess I was the exception. Not to be a pick me or anything, trust me if I had the choice I would be out of here as well. But I couldn’t, Sarah had travelled earlier to go visit her parents and she would be gone for the weekend. God knows what would happen to me if I chose to stay in that house. I had seen him calling, but I chose to ignore, what else was he going to tell me, other than creep me out more.

The truth was that, after the stunt he pulled the last week, I became more afraid of him. The guy was truly nuts! I was contemplating going to the authorities, but what evidence did I have of him. I had looked around the house to see whether I would find any CCTV camera only to find none. A thought had come to me of taping him and taking the evidence to the authorities, but I quickly discarded it as I did not want to risk knowing what would happen to me if I had ended up failing.

The only solution was Sarah. Would she believe me if I told her that her husband was a creep and pervert? What would she think of me? When I had no evidence to prove my claims. What if she ended up turning against me and throwing me out of the house. I was scared of being homeless as much as I was of being molested, I could end up being truly molested on the streets. Or maybe I was overthinking things, as I always have. The woman had been nothing but kind to me, and she was a sweetheart too. Maybe she would believe me? But what if she ended up believing me, what could she do? As far as I knew the creep was the one who paid all the bills. I didn’t even know what he did?

Deciding to take a break from my thoughts, I grabbed my phone which was charging on the table beside me. As if on cue, my phone lit up letting me know that I had received a notification and a smile grew on my face on seeing what the notification was about. ‘Prettiestflower1777 just sent a letter’ the notification read. Clicking on the notification message to open it, my smile grew wider as I read the contents of the letter.

‘Finally, you decided to take my advice! If he is THAT HOT! Then girl you already have my blessings, just make sure you discard those granny panties of yours and find something hot before spreading your legs for him, or else I will be disowning you!

Joking, love you x

I better be the first to know when you decide to give him your cherry

Xoxo

Your prettiest flower’

Since my concentration levels were already low meaning there was no way I would understand whatever, I was reading as my brain RAM was already filled for the day from both my living conditions and studying, I decided to relax by replying to my friend there and then, my crazy dashing friend whom I had never met.

‘Who said I was going to be dropping my panties for a man I don’t know just like that? And I just met him once, not sure if I am ever going to see him again so please calm your tits down. FYI my panties are very fine thank you, you can ask the creep because he seems to like using them all the time, am thinking of letting him have them

How are your exams btw?’

I quickly replied before sending the letter. Knowing that it would take at least two hours for the letter to reach her and a day before I got a reply as the letters took that long, I decided to go back to my laptop and open a new tab which would aid me in my apartment hunting saga.

My Friend

Her name was Lily Rose and yes, I had never met her, nor did I have an ounce of clue how she looked like. It was really amazing how we found each other. Who would have thought that an anonymous letter writing app would bond two strangers together, a bond so strong that we couldn’t imagine living without each other.

I was back in Kenya, fresh out of high school with no friends to talk to, only relied on fictional romance novels to know how friendships and relationships work. I was a very shy kid which made it harder for me to make genuine friendships. The ones I had on high school were made out of survival instincts and they were mostly study related. I never felt like myself in these friendships only forcing myself to act like how a smart intelligent student who knew what she wanted in life would, but the truth was I didn’t know what I wanted. I just knew how to play by the rules, do what was expected of you in terms of character, careers and even dressing or else you will stand out and people will judge and that was why I couldn’t let the opportunity of starting afresh in another country where nobody knew me escape me. Shallow I know, but am grateful that I did, even though I am now contemplating my decision.

I remember being so scared while downloading the app, what if I encountered creeps who would hack me, I thought to myself but boy am I glad that I got over my fear and actually initiated the chat because otherwise, how would I have come to find this lovely friend of mine. We were both shy at first only exchanging pleasantries once in a while till, we discovered that we had a lot in common, like our tastes in food and fashion, our ambitions in travelling the world, our perceptions towards love and life, and so much more. Overtime, we connected in ways that no other online pals would. 

She was the first person I ever opened  to about how I felt suffocated with the persona and character that was forced onto me by society and the culture that I was brought up in and of my desire to flee and break free of the clutches that held me back from pursuing what I truly wanted and expressing myself how I truly wanted to be viewed. To others, it may have felt like a petty excuse to run away from my responsibilities that were assigned to me right as I came into this world. The responsibilities that were assigned to me as the first-born daughter in an African household.

Even though some were not written, there were still very clear that there were some characters and values that were expected of you as the eldest daughter in an African household. You had to be the second mother in that family, the one that youngers ones looked up to, be it your own siblings or relatives, an example to be used for good. You had to be the strong one both mentally and physically depending on how you viewed it, so that when it was time to protect your family, you would show up and not disappoint. Even though your entire body, felt as if a thousand needles were piercing into it or a thousand bricks placed on the body, you still had to move on and pretend everything was fine because the leader was always strong.

And I think it reached a point where I started to hate it. I felt that I couldn’t do what I truly wanted because I had an image to uphold. An image I resented with passion. I want to be bad, to feel and undergo the reprucussions of doing something wrong, but no matter how had I tried doing the wrong thing, I couldn’t. All I could think of was how people would view me after. My stupid perfect image.

And when I confined in Lily about all this, she did not judge me and view as petty and ungrateful as I initially thought, instead she comforted me, relating with the situation I was in, as she too did not want to disappoint and chose to sacrifice her happiness so that everyone else could be happy. How ironic!

We later made each other promises, that we will both escape from the environments that were tying us down and as much as I loved my family, I was really glad that I got out of there.

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