GABRIEL
***
“It’s my first day of classes Mom,” I said to the phone as I put on my left shoe. I had taken to calling her every day so that she didn’t feel as lonely as she was. She was all alone. She was yet to make any new friends and I didn’t want to put her in a position where she had to call me instead of the other way around.
“I know you won’t have a hard time catching up, but in case you do, please let me know. I know exactly who to call,” she said.
“Really? Who?” I asked, genuinely curious. Who could my mother possibly know that could help me with my studies?
“I didn’t want to bring this up until the weekend when we met but I met Terry. They moved here. Emily’s at Cresswell too,” she said.
I froze. She confirmed what I knew but was trying to ignore. I had seen her a few more times around the campus and had taken to avoiding her because I knew that that was what she would have wanted. But more than that, I did it because I was also upset with her. She left without saying anything and made it seem like I had done something to offend her.
I’m sure I had, given that I wasn’t the best friend I could have been, so that’s not what bothered me. What bothered me was the fact that she didn’t even consider talking to me about it. She just disappeared and refused to return any of my calls or respond to any of my texts.
I was just as angry as her as she was at me because I just couldn’t understand why she decided to act in the way she did.
“I’m sure I’ll do just fine but if I get stuck in any way I will let you know,” I said, “or better yet, I’ll just look for her now that I know we’re in the same campus,” I added, wanting to assure her that it was under my control. I hoped that it would discourage her from doing anything crazy. The situation was awkward as it was.
“That’s what I like to hear,” she said.
“I have to go. Have a great day,” I said.
“You too,” she said, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I said and let her hang up. I picked my backpack up from the floor. The fact that I had joined late had its perks because I got a room by myself. I wouldn’t get a roommate until the new semester and I was happy to have this space to myself for the next few months. I locked the door behind me and walked across the campus to my first class of the day.
I walked as confidently as I could but part of me was anxious about running into Emily. I didn’t know what I would do at that moment. Was I supposed to ignore her? Were we supposed to act as if we’d never met before? I couldn’t. I could do anything but that. For me, acting like enemies was better. At least it meant that we knew each other, even if we were not on good terms. At least I could redeem that, and try to fix things to the best of my ability. But acting like we didn’t know each other at all did not give me any chance and I couldn’t have that. I needed to have a chance.
I just needed to. But because I wasn’t sure, I was going to ease into the interaction. My image was also important to me. I couldn’t handle being ignored in public. I had taken to wearing a cap to hide my face. I was scheduled for a class with a certain Mr. Thomas. I managed to find the class just before it was due to start. Earl and the rest of the guys hadn’t done such a bad job of showing me around.
I walked in, and there she was. I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel in that moment, but what I immediately felt was a sense of familiarity. After all these years, she still sat at the front of the class. I had to smile at that.
My smile quickly faded when I saw that there was someone sitting next to her. I wasn’t planning to sit next to her or go anywhere next to her for that matter until I figured out what she felt towards me, but seeing someone else, some other guy sitting next to her made my blood boil with rage.
I didn’t know him yet, but I promised myself that I would find out who he was and give him a hard time. I covered my face with the cap I was wearing and walked past them, hoping and praying that she hadn’t noticed me. I didn’t want her running off again.
I sat a few rows behind them, but not too many because I wanted to be close enough to observe them, to see if that guy was going to hit on her. Mr. Thomas walked in a few minutes later and I was happy because I knew Emily didn’t talk during a lecture unless it was to answer or ask questions. She wouldn’t talk to that guy.
But then Mr. Thomas announced that he was sick and was giving us the lecture time to read. I couldn’t blame him but I wanted to. Why did he have to be sick today of all days?
Some people left the class after him and I took that as a chance to move to the row directly behind them. If she noticed, she didn’t show it. They sat in silence for a few minutes and just as I was getting comfortable, thinking that she was going to stay quiet for the rest of the lecture, she chuckled, and they started talking.
I watched them for a while and felt an ache in my heart. This moment reminded me of Reading Time back when we were in kindergarten. Was it the same for her? Did she remember?
I couldn’t take watching them any longer, so I walked out of the class. I didn’t care if she had noticed me, but part of me hoped she had. But more than anything, I was even angrier.
Bakersville Elementary, 1999 *** “Can I have lunch here, Miss Phoebe?” Emily said. Miss Phoebe looked sadly over at her and nodded. She had gone to the teacher’s lounge during the lunch break, when everyone else was having lunch in the cafeteria. She had been going for the past week, because she couldn’t eat at the cafeteria anymore. And it was all because of Gabriel. She settled into a seat next to the window and opened her lunchbox. Her mother had packed the green grapes again. She didn’t like them. She always gave them to Gabriel who gave her the red ones instead, the ones he didn’t like but she loved. She wondered if they would ever be friends again. It had all started when Gabriel decided to become one of the popular kids. Emily had supported him even when she knew that it was a bad idea. She knew it would end badly. She just didn’t know that it would end badly for her. The first and most obvious step for Gabriel to become popular was to stop hanging out with Emily. She was
EMILY***“His name is Harry,” I said into the phone, ignoring the fact that Nila looked up from her books when I did.It was not yet time for our weekly phone call but I just had to call Julie and update her on what was going on in my life. It was exciting, after all. I had only ever had one other boyfriend and after things ended the way they did, Julie kept encouraging me to try and like someone else, or, at the very least, to try and not sabotage things when I actually did, but I always did.I was afraid. But there was something about Harry that made me feel brave. Maybe it was the fact that this was a new environment. Maybe it was the fact that even with Gabriel here, I felt like I could start afresh in some areas because at least here my reputation was not tarnished like the way it was back in Bakersville.Knowing people your whole life did have some disadvantages. I smiled as Julie squealed into the phone. I was just as excited as she was. I told him about our interaction in cla
GABRIEL***“You did what?” I shouted over the phone. I would regret it later but I was too shocked to remember that my Mom didn’t like it when people raised their voices at her.“I called Terry. Planned a dinner date with the both of you,” Mom said, and I had to physically stop myself from screaming into the phone.I had hoped that moving to Cresswell wouldn’t mean my Mom and Emily’s Mom getting together, but then, it was just a matter of time before it happened. I guess what I should have hoped for instead was for it to take much longer than it did.“Have you told Emily yet?” I asked, putting on my jacket. I wanted to look for her. Tell her myself. Ask her to come up with an excuse, even. Or come up with one myself, so that we could push the dinner as far as we could.“I got her number from Terry and I texted her, telling her that we’d moved here and that you’re in the same school,” Mom said.“Really? Has she responded?”“Yes. She said you haven’t met yet but she’ll look for you n
EMILY***“Emily, come get the door,” Mom said.I wanted to ignore her but I knew she knew I had heard her. It was only the two of us in the house, after all. I didn’t want to get the door. I didn’t want this day to come. I had been dreading it but that didn’t change things. It was here. Oh well, might as well get it over with.I got up from my bed and made my way downstairs. The only reason I didn’t drag my feet was that Louise was outside. The other party, I didn’t care much for. I took a deep breath then I opened the door.“Hi,” Gabriel said as he made his way past me, making sure to hit my shoulder as he did.He was so full of it. I wanted to roll my eyes but I didn’t. I put on the warmest smile I could muster for Louise.“It’s so good to see you,” she said as she gave me a hug.“It’s good to see you too,” I said and I meant it.I had missed her. She was like my second mother and my friend. I had always been sorry about the way I left things with her. I should have told her I was
(Bakersville Elementary 2001)***“You will be doing your elementary school Science Fair Project in pairs,” Mrs. Berry said. There were mixed reactions in the class. Some people were excited. Others, not so much.Emily was excited. It didn’t matter who she got as a partner, she was excited about doing the science fair project. She already had an idea in mind.“Do we get to choose our partners?” a student asked, and everyone quieted down. This was the most important part. A ‘yes’ from Mrs. Berry meant the world to the elementary school class. it would mean they could choose their crushes. It meant their dreams could come true. Mrs. Berry had the rare and unique chance of being Cupid. Would she take it?The air was thick with anticipation. Everyone was holding their breath. Well, almost everyone. Emily didn’t care much for crushes. She didn’t have one, and she was sure no one had a crush on her as well.“No,” Mrs. Berry said and the class deflated with disappointment.Mrs. Berry smiled
GABRIEL***“I’m so happy for you,” Mom said as she reached her hand across the table to hold Emily’s.Emily had just announced that she was dating Harry. And I hoped she was lying. Besides, it didn’t make sense. The only reason Harry could have been holding Emily’s phone on the day we met was that he was giving her his number, and he’d also told her to call him. If they were dating, they wouldn’t need to tell each other that. Moreso, he wouldn’t need to tell her to call him. He would call her, right? Isn’t that what boyfriends did?I’d only come to this conclusion because I had been thinking about it for the four days that had gone by since it happened. It bothered me that they might have been dating this whole time. But that’s not what bothered me the most. What bothered me was how she acted when I grabbed her wrist. She said she was okay but I doubted it. I was worried for her. What had happened to make her so scared?I had debated texting her, to ask her if she was okay. I knew sh
EMILY***This is not what I had planned. I shouldn’t have allowed my desire for revenge to take over. I regretted it as soon as I said it, not only because I was dragging Harry into my drama with Gabriel, but also because Gabriel seemed unaffected by the news. I had a feeling he knew I was lying. It pissed me off all the more that he knew but he chose to play along.What pissed me off even more, though, was the fact that when he was asked if he was dating he said no. He didn’t play along. He didn’t try to pretend the way I was. It was like he was uninterested, unbothered. But the Gabriel I knew was not the type to be upstaged. I had hit him where it hurt. It’s not that he wasn’t affected. It’s that he was coming up with a strategy.I could tell by the way he got silent for the rest of the dinner. I could almost hear his brain turning. As soon as we waved them goodbye I ran up to my room. I needed to text Harry. I paced around my room. What was I even going to say? How would I bring i
EMILY*** “Thanks again for agreeing to meet me,” I said to Harry as I sat down. We’d decided to meet at a coffee shop off campus. It was my suggestion. I didn’t know where Gabriel was and I didn’t want to run the risk of running into him before I told Harry what I had done. “Sure,” Harry said, “is everything okay? You look pale.” I was anxious. I had never done anything like this, and I hated that I was doing it to someone who didn’t deserve it. Someone who was genuinely interested in me, that I was genuinely interested in as well. I hated that I was dragging him into this. “I’m okay,” I said, “probably just tired from the weekend. It was a lot.” “How was the dinner?” he asked. I guess we were getting straight to the point. “It was great. I hadn’t seen Gabriel and his Mom in a while so it was great to catch up on things,” I said, sipping on my Iced Americano. “That’s great to hear. What did you want to tell me?” he asked. I placed my drink on the table and took a deep breath