It takes one hair sweep from Ethan to make me fall in love with him on the spot. He didn’t even do anything cool! He just pushed his hair back, revealing his glorious forehead and I feel my heartbeat a mile a minute. It makes me question how deep my feelings for Ethan are, but I'm pretty confident in myself that I could still manage my feelings just fine. At this proximity, looking up to him is starting to make my neck hurt, so I quickly fixed that and stared at his shoes.
It's just a crush, Keira. Calm down. I tell myself over and over until I could believe it. This will pass. It has to because I cannot afford to pine for a guy who would never go me. Guys like Ethan go for girls like Rina. Ethan's shoes are nothing like the rest of him. Where all over his body, new and designer items adorn him, his shoes are simple and plain; and if you ask me, they look kind of worn out. He seems to sense the question in my head before I could even form it.
"I don't use designer training shoes because I wear them out easily and they're more for show rather than function." He explains, looking down at his shoes and doing a little move. "I prefer the sturdier ones, they're comfortable and last longer." He finishes with a shrug. I can't argue with his logic there.
I look up to him again, and say, "That's neat. I only buy shoes because I need them or they look pretty, I haven't really thought about it as you do."
That makes Ethan smile, "Shouldn't we be going to meet, Alexander?" he asks as he starts backing up away from me. I already miss his warmth and his scent from a short distance, but I shake the thought away immediately.
I'm still kind of skeptical about Ethan’s decision to join Alexander and myself in the recording studio instead of continuing his practice, but I didn’t question it. It means I get to spend a little more time with him. “Okay, then, if you’re sure.” But at the back of my mind, this is something unusual indeed. Ethan is known for being the hard-working bug among the five boys. He's always the first to arrive and the last one to leave the practice rooms.
A lot of fans speculate the reason is that Ethan is such a perfectionist. Even if he is, I don't think that was the only reason behind it.
Ethan grins at me, hands still in his pockets, he turns one-eighty. “I’m sure. Let’s not dally, my friend,” says Ethan. “Let’s go.”
Oh, well. Fingers-crossed.
When we arrive at the studio Alexander reserved for the day, my face is beet red from embarrassment. “I’m sorry I’m late, Alexander,” I mumble. “I got held up, I’m really sorry.”
I'm half-afraid that Alexander would have been upset over waiting too long that he backs out of his offer to let me observe today. I prayed the whole way up the elevator and up to the door that Alexander makes good on his promise. I really need this and I would even go as far as to beg, in case he changed his mind.
Alexander, who's quietly reading on a corner couch doesn't even bother looking up from his book. “S’fine.” He says, giving a little wave of his hand, brushing me off.
That's a good sign, right?
“I’ll get myself set up really quick.” Already embarrassed about being late, I quickly get to work. I barely even hear Ethan shuffle inside after me.
“Hey, Alex,” Ethan greets in a small voice. Something I rarely hear from him because he’s always so confident on stage. “I hope you don’t mind me tagging along.”
This time, Alexander seemed interested. “Ethan! This is a pleasant surprise.” He looks up finally from the book he was reading and went straight for Ethan and they share a bro hug. “Of course, I don’t mind. I'm delighted you're here. I’ve told you already that I’d start producing with you, why not start now?”
Woah. Ethan’s interested in music production? That's new, and honestly, unexpected. He seems to invest a lot of his time into dancing and singing that he didn’t seem to have enough time in a day to even study or learn about music production. But at the same time, my heart does a little squeal knowing that I now share something in common with him.
I can't help the smile that crept up my face at the sound of Ethan’s voice. “Thanks, Alex.” It makes me happy how Ethan was starting to cheer up already.
“Besides,” Alexander said gesturing towards me. “Keira here could show you the ropes. She’s really good.”
Now, that is a surprise. What in the hell have I done to earn Alexander’s recognition? “Say what now?” I whip around so fast I gave myself whiplash. “W-what, where have you h-heard? You’ve heard my music?”
The genius producer laughs at my reaction. “I heard some of your demos the interns left playing in here the other day.” He explains, glancing back and forth between me and Ethan. “They’re dope. Still needs polishing, but dope.”
I blush at the compliment. Ever since I started in this industry, getting people’s approval was next to impossible, so hearing a genius like Raze’s Alexander compliment me is a real ego-booster. “Thank you? I mean, thank you. That’s really nice of you Alexander and I’m grateful that you’re allowing me to watch you work.”
Alexander waves his hand in dismissal again. He sure seems to love doing that. “Don’t put me on such a pedestal, Keira.” To Ethan, he gestures to sit down. “Please, sit down both of you. I was just about to start.”
Ethan and I spend the next two hours sitting behind Alexander in the studio. A few times, Alexander asked Ethan to go inside the booth to record some adlibs and a couple of lines for the background vocals. I send a quick prayer to all the gods listening for allowing me to listen to Ethan's vocals today. He sounds like an angel as always.
After a few takes of the adlibs, Alexander turns to me. “What did you think, Keira?”
Surprised, my eyes widen at his question. “You’re asking me?”
“You have a lot of questions, don’t you?” Alexander doesn't seem upset, he seems to be genuinely interested to know why I have a lot of questions.
“Oh, um. It’s just that I’m still processing all of this.” Gesturing wildly around me. “I have a ton of questions because I don’t know if this is all actually happening or I’m just in a really good dream.”
Alexander chuckles. “This is real, Keira. Why wouldn’t you think otherwise?”
I shrug. I don't know how to respond to that. “I don’t know. Nothing of importance happened to me since I started working here; this is the first one.”
“That can’t be true,” Alexander replies skeptically. “This can’t be the first one.”
A giggle rose from my throat. “Oh, but it is,” I reply, still giggling. I don’t know what was so funny, maybe it was the fact that I’m actually talking to Alexander—my idol—about my pathetic life.
Alexander smiles and says to me. “This may be the first time, but I’ll make sure it won’t be the last, Keira.”
My mouth hung open at Alexander’s claim, and I didn’t have any time to process it because suddenly, Ethan cleared his throat loudly, surprising the both of us. Ethan then grabs another chair and positions himself between me and Alexander.
Uh, rude much? We're still talking.
But immediately that thought vanishes when Ethan turns his gaze to me.
KeiraThe whole arena explodes into gasps and whispers. Normally, you’d be able to ignore whispers, but when twenty thousand people start to collectively gossip about you in your presence, then it starts to become bothersome.My eyes meet Ethan’s asking for help, but he offers me a determined look and a reassuring smile.“You’ve seen her in the news and tabloids, and I’d like to ask everyone to please leave her alone,” Ethan speaks with a sternness in his voice, that I’ve only heard him use on me a few times. “She didn’t ask for this—to be in the spotlight. It was my fault that this happened. So, any hate toward her should be directed at me instead.”The crowd starts to shout comforting words at him, then.“It’s not your fault!”“We’re sorry!”Ethan smiles at his fans and I’m glad that he has those who genuinely support him. “Thank you all for your support. I promise not to let you down again in the future. From this moment forth, I promise to always be honest with you… no more surpri
KeiraWhen the four members of RAZE came to me with VIP tickets to their concert, I knew they were up to no good.“I’ll take this as collateral,” Alexander tells me as he unclasps the necklace and keeps it in his pocket. I cried about my necklace that night. I missed it the moment Alexander took it from me. It felt like it has always been a part of me, and when they took it, it felt like a part of me was missing.I sat on it, slept on it, and pondered on it for a long time before I decided that I had nothing left to lose except the man that I love.So without finishing my shift at the club, I shoot Jax a message, apologizing for disappearing all of a sudden.JAX [8:42 PM]Hurry up or you won’t make it.Dumbass.Did Jax know about this? It wasn’t impossible given how Alexander, Ethan, and apparently Luke too were friends with him. I shoot Jax a quick thank you before running up to my uber.“Sir, I’m in a hurry. Please drive fast.” This wasn’t the first time that I had asked an uber dri
Ethan“It’s the final day! Let’s give it our best!” Alexander leads the group to cheer again and we scream together to hype each other up.The previous concert days have gone smoothly and I’m confident that I can give a perfect performance today as well and I have Keira to thank for that.I’ve received positive responses from the fans telling me how they love my new look. And how they wished they could have seen me in this concept earlier.It makes me smile, but I can’t tell them that this isn’t a concept. This is my real personality, plain and simple.The concert goes well and without a hitch. It wasn’t until Liam pulls me aside during Aiden’s solo song that I notice that the boys are antsy.“Hey, are you okay?” I ask curiously. “You’ve been jumpy since the concert started. Are you nervous about something?”Liam’s nervous look transforms into a confused one real quick. “Nervous? I’m not nervous. Maybe you’re nervous—”“Okay, Liam, I got this.” Alexander cuts him off and the look of r
EthanMaking sure I’m still safe in my hiding spot, I reread Keira’s message over and over. This is real, right? Did she message me? This isn’t just some mirage that I’d imagined because I’m so deprived of Keira in my life, right?Just as I’m wondering about the possibility of Keira sending me a message, another one comes in.KEIRA PATEL [10:16 PM]It’s annoying and Naomi’s starting to hate me.Stop.I didn’t dream it.Holy shit, she’s talking to me. I’m overjoyed. There’s a part of me that entertained the idea of Keira moving on and leaving me. I was hopeful but I must admit I was starting to think she’d never be able to forgive me for what happened. This doesn’t mean she has forgiven me, but talking to me is at least a step forward. I feared that she was lost to me forever, but I guess there’s still hope.Quickly, I type out my reply.ETHAN REED [10:16 PM]You replied!Wait.YOU CAN SEE ME?If she could see me then maybe Keira really is at home. I peer outside the window but I can’
EthanThe concert goes on as planned.Alexander huddles us together before the concert starts, like how he does at the beginning of every major event.“Everything that happened tonight, let’s forget about it and give all of our energy back to the fans who came here to see us. We owe all of our success to them and despite everything, they’re still here to support us. Let’s give them the show of their lives.”We all cheer after Alex’s speech and it was moving.As we wait in the wings as the opening VCR starts, Alex pulls me aside and crushes me with a tight hug.“I’m proud of you,” he says into my ear and I can’t help the sigh of relief that leaves my lips. “I’m proud of you, Ethan.”He lets me go and I’m too ashamed to face him.“God, I’m sorry, Alex—for everything—”‘You’Ve apologized enough,” he says with a smile and he claps a hand on my shoulder. “Whatever happens, we got you. We’re a team, remember? I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t rely on me. But you always have my
KeiraI think I made a mistake. Whatever possessed me to think I could face the club owner sober?Jax is intimidating when I’m drunk, and he’s downright terrifying now that I’m sober. He stares at me like I’m prey and he’s a predator waiting for me to make a move before he devours me alive.“So?” he asks. Shit. He spoke first. Jax spreads his hands out in a welcoming manner. “I have a few minutes, go ahead. Plead your case.”“Okay,” I huff out and take a deep breath. “First of all, I’m really sorry about what happened. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. And believe me, it wasn’t my intention… I’d understand if you’d want to fire me if I brought any bad rep to your club—”One of Jax’s eyebrows quirks up in question. “You’re asking me to fire you?”“No!” I blurt out, eyes wide in panic. “No, I’m sorry. No, quite the opposite. I’m here to beg you for a job.”Phew. It’s out. I managed to get it out. Great job, Keira.Observing Jax, nothing changed with his demeanor. The same playful