Bad Idea

Beatrice Sartori

It wasn't hard to notice that over time his cruelties got worse, pulling more and more of my body, this one was getting used to it, learning to deal with the pain, obeying his commands like a trained bitch as he likes to call it. The hardest thing is to recognize that at some point I saw us as a beautiful pair, even though it was too much even for a dream, I was stupid to love him. Everything was a lie and nothing I do is ever enough to appease the inexplicable fury and jealousy at his commands making the flames of his madness burn between us.

Your smile, the caresses, and every declaration of love, everything is a lie.

That's why I tried to close my eyes to escape, wanting to stay in the present even if it was painful. But in your absence, I am only able to suffer from the memories.

The rough touch of her hands tore every part of the dress, leaving only the small lingerie, attracting the attention of her eyes, shining as if she were unwrapping a present.

"Is that what you wanted to give De Angelis, a wife?" I shook my head in denial.

“I only had eyes for you all night, husband” - I said exasperated feeling the knot in my belly grow.

“ If you keep lying, the punishment will get worse” – I let out a sob, not knowing what to do – “Sit down with your legs over the side of the bed.”

I obeyed his orders feeling fear cling to every corner of my heart.

“That's what disobedient wives get.” He had grabbed something from a suitcase in the corner of the room and when he opened his hands he had a red ball and a leather strap.

Caressing my cheek, and kissing my forehead, he bent down to my eye level.

“Remember, wife, this is your fault. - His hands came with the strap closing on my neck.

With a strong grip ripping the air out of my lungs, I feel like I'm about to be hanged, I try to support my hands on his arms in search of lessening the grip that interrupts the flow of air, without any effect on the body with triple strength, even with his nails digging into the skin exposed by the fabric raised to his elbows, he remains firm, impassive, increasing my despair even more.

His hand presses my chin forcing me to open my mouth to make room for the red ball, making the saliva build-up inhibiting all my words, he closes the contraption behind his now tangled hair. I'm lost

In a quick movement, I'm flipped onto my back without any care.

I hear a metallic sound reverberating louder over the wails that escape my throat then I am pulled back by the neck, I try to grab the bed, but nothing seems to be able to make it stop. I was thrown to the floor and held by handcuffs on the wooden foot of the bed, feeling like an animal, he grabbed my neck forcing me to lift my face and spat.

I lay motionless watching him take off his clothes, kicking when he pulled my legs and feeling like a doll as I was turned onto my back with his legs pushing my knees apart, his wrists hurting from the cuffs and the collar cutting off my breath, I felt my saliva dripping. through the corners of the mouth.

He'll be a good husband, it's just a jealous fit.

I screamed something indecipherable as the pain of penetration took root from my toes until my hair was ripped out by him, and my body felt like it was ripped in half. Stefano didn't wait, he just took it. And when it was over I thought I couldn't do any worse.

My aching legs barely held up as he brought me to his knees and the lashes began robbing me of what little air I still had. He took me again at the end of the thirty lashes.

At some point I lost consciousness, I woke up in bed praying it was just a nightmare until I walked into the bathroom and saw the cuts on my skin, the dried blood between my thighs, and the bruised wrists.

Before I even started crying the bathroom door opened and there were my husband's furious eyes.

"Don't close the door on me, you hear." I shook my head, unable to speak.

This time Stefano outdid himself, seven years later and he still manages to find a way to fuck with my psyche, even learning every one of his tricks to destabilize me. The marks scattered across my body show how I was unable to maintain the theater, I listened to the sound of the door opening, waiting for him to appear, I let out a mute cry when I saw my older brother.

His dark eyes seem filled with hatred as he sees my state and pities. The messy hair and always neat beard completed the familiar face, I saw the guilt in his eyes.

“Beatrice! - He whispered - That son of a bitch is going to die! Why didn't you say anything?

"What could you say, brother?" Stefano is my husband, son of Don Sartori. It's not like he's punished for using his whore.

“ Cazzo! You're his fucking wife!” – he exasperated, lowering his voice right after and looking at the door.

Even if the family rules were clear about respect, fidelity and not hurting wives Stefano was not just anyone, under his skin, there was a true demon. What could a single woman claim that an entire council made up of men wouldn't see my status as a simple upbringing?

I don't doubt that other women in the organization go through the same or worse, the result of a command that only values its own home, the Don doesn't seem to realize that he feeds his wolves, distorting all our Sicilian values.

Unable to argue, I lowered my bottom lip so he could see my mark as Stefano Sartori's property, and his eyes widened.

"I'm going to kill him." Giacomo looked ready to run, I grabbed his arm with all the strength I had left after days without eating.

“How did you find me? “I feared my husband would come back and find him there.

“I don't know what you did and won't ask, but you seem to have won the loyalty of one of your husband's soldiers.

“Frank? – I asked.

“Yes, he came to my apartment to say you'd been missing for five days, only Stefano was holding you captive.

“I found out I was pregnant, he beat me and used me until he lost another baby. – I sobbed and my brother's arms supported my weak body

“ You can't kill him, it would be a war Giacomo”- he left three days ago he should be back any moment...

Fury surging in waves at the telling, the truth is humiliating and it's all my fault for not being a good wife.

“Fuck it, I'm going to make that son of a bitch pay, I won't be able to forgive myself for not getting you out of this sooner.

All this time I kept up the farce of the perfect marriage, the perfect wife a doll, I tried to forgive my older brother, after all, he only fulfilled his role within the organization.

Since our father died, he has become everything to me, taking care of all of us and doing everything to keep us together.

I let go of my brother's arms, pacing the room thinking of a way we could all get out alive, ideas swarming in my nervous mind full of hideous whispers and a huge desire for revenge.

“Hunter! – I exclaimed – “Talk to Hunter, he knows several drug suppliers, get one that can knock Stefano down and one that looks like a good night Cinderella”.

My husband's connections with certain contacts would be just a toast, the ideas coming to life and the macabre thoughts taking over the body, of being able to take revenge on him and the culprits for the horrendous nightmares. Each one of them destroyed a part of the dreaming girl, each one that caused an abortion, taking away the opportunity for life to exist.

The grotesque way he disturbed and killed every good part inside my soul, his ways of trying to convince me about how strong his love is, and then his hands closed around my neck. It must be all my fault, for wanting a day without a spanking or dreaming of a touch of love, I was trapped in naive dreams waiting for Stefano to become someone else, giving up all self-esteem to live for him, waiting for him, yearning to that after the pain came the warm and caring touch.

I looked at my brother knowing that everything was about to change.

He would rid the world of Stefano and, as a gift, he would place him in the family's power.

"What does Beatrice want to do?" – A low and serious voice expressing curiosity

“ First his death belongs to me” – My older brother shook his head in disbelief — “You just said you wouldn't forgive yourself, this is your opportunity brother.’ - Without any scruples, I took advantage of your pain for my ruin.

As much as I tried to never be able to truly forgive Giacomo for having given me up so young to that demon if he took away the opportunity to kill Stefano, that pain would never go away.

Our gazes locked silently, his eyes traveling over the bites on my arms and all the visible marks on my dirty little pajama bottoms. I took advantage of his close inspection to drop the bomb.

“ We will kill him and fake my death for the family, we will leave the traces so that they believe it was the Sicilians, Don Sartori will hunt the culprits blind with hatred “– I saw your silence as an incentive to continue — “The Sartori will disappear from the map Giacomo, and you, the oldest of the Costello family, will take the chair.”

My only reason to fight for life is going to be to get my hands on each one of them and have them beg for a quick death when all they're going to get is the little monster taught, trained, and educated by the Devil himself.