11

This nonsense had to stop.

That was what Noah was thinking as he drove home that night. Sex with Dana was good, but he couldn’t fool himself anymore. Dana wasn’t the one he truly wanted, the one he needed. It was Ingrid’s face he was seeing earlier while he was in bed with Dana. It was Ingrid’s name he wanted to moan, to scream as he came.

This has to stop.

Noah couldn’t just keep fucking other women while imagining they were Ingrid. There was only one solution he could think of—to actually sleep with his executive assistant. Yeah. One time, and be done with it once and for all.

He still wasn’t sure how he would do it. Besides, if he went through with it, he’d be a hypocrite. He was the one who got mad at his cousin for sleeping with one of their agency’s models, and yet here he was, practically crippling Ingrid in his imagination with sex. And now, he was actually planning to go through with it. He should probably review the company’s stance against sexual harassment.

When he got home, he saw his father waiting on the patio, sitting on a rattan chair and drinking coffee. The man looked peaceful, happy, and content.

“Are you sleeping here tonight?” he asked.

Armando chuckled softly. “Are you kicking me out, son?”

He scratched the back of his head. “Dad, I was just asking.” He sat on the adjacent sofa by the coffee table, where his father’s cup was. “Is Mom asleep already?”

“She just went inside a while ago. We got caught up in a good conversation out here.”

Noah smiled. He was glad everything was finally okay between his parents. His mother had been carrying resentment for a long time, unwilling to let go. Last year, Ara seemed to snap and lose herself in a midlife crisis. It was a sad and difficult time, but somehow, it helped wake her up and push her to keep going. Her family gave her strong support to help her rise again.

“How are you, son?” Armando asked seriously, with a hint of concern.

“I’m doing good, Dad.”

“Are you really?”

He laughed. “Yes.”

“When are you getting married?” Armando asked out of the blue.

Noah laughed again.

“Nate said you don’t have a girlfriend,” his father added, prodding him. “I’m just worried, son. Maybe I had something to do with why you’re still single.”

He frowned, already sensing what his father was trying to say.

“I know I wasn’t always available for emotional support, and to tell you the truth, I’m still working on that.” Armando sighed. “You and your brother both have abandonment issues, just with different coping mechanisms. Nate was afraid to lose love, so he avoided it. You, on the other hand… I think you’re afraid of hurting the woman you’ll fall in love with. Actually, what I’ve noticed about you, son, is that you try to please everyone. It’s like you’re afraid to make a mistake.”

Noah didn’t respond. He wanted to disagree with his father, but he realized there was some truth to what he said. For years, he had always been cautious, careful to never cross the line. He lived straight and clean. He was afraid of doing anything wrong or dirty—even if the thoughts he had weren’t crimes.

Another possible reason was his late grandfather’s constant advice. Grandpa Oni was an old-fashioned man who disapproved of the life choices of his three children. The eldest, Lucian, lived with a woman and had a child before marrying. Armando, his father, got someone pregnant before tying the knot—Noah believed he had been pressured into it by Grandpa Oni, which led to a marriage that eventually ended in separation. The youngest, Mark, came out as gay.

Noah’s siblings and cousins had the guts to defy Grandpa Oni’s traditional beliefs. He was the only one the old man believed would follow his teachings. Well, he did—in his own way.

“Noah, you’re not me. I’m your father, but we’re made of different stuff. Don’t be afraid to love or to possibly hurt someone in the process. No one is exempt from getting hurt. That’s life, son. Sometimes, we unintentionally hurt others because of our choices. Even when we don’t mean to, it still happens.”

Noah sighed. “Maybe I just need to find the right girl,” he simply said.

“Right,” his father agreed. “Look at your brother now, he’s really happy. He’s still scared of losing Cassy, but he took the risk anyway. In the end, what matters is that you don’t let opportunities pass. That you gave it everything, even if things don’t turn out the way you wanted.”

“Don’t worry about me, Dad. I’m okay.”

“You’re not even dating anyone?”

“No one right now.”

“How about... a special someone?”

Noah chuckled. “A special someone, but I’m not dating her?”

“Yes—someone who doesn’t know you have feelings for her.”

Noah grinned and looked up at the dark skies. His thoughts were racing. That dark, dirty side of him was more eager than ever to come out.

“No, not really.”

But there is this girl I’ve been wanting to fuck, and I will, very soon.