I follow Ryan into one of the soundproof rooms, watching the way that she pushes her hair over her left shoulder. I wish I could run my fingers through it. I love how her thick, coppery hair frames her face and trails down her back. It didn’t help that it stopped right above her ass. And those shorts were doing nothing to hide her curves. Combine that with the low-cut green t-shirt that ended just shy of her shorts and I would have followed her anywhere. I kept getting tantalizing glimpses of the dimples on her lower back. I had to consciously keep my hands by my side to keep from touching her.
Ryan walks into the soundproof room and leans her ass against a table on the far back wall. I walk in and close the door behind me. Trying to keep the excitement out of my voice, I say, “What’s up?”
“What was that?” Ryan folds her arms under her breasts. She has that defensive look on her face. I know that it was her way of keeping the world out, but I hate that she feels that she needs to keep me out.
“What was what?” I ask, keeping a straight face.
“The whole creepy thing with Jaime,” she deadpans.
“Creepy thing?” I raise my eyebrows, trying and failing to keep a smirk off of my face. God, she was adorable.
“Come on." She's finally smiling a little. “You have to admit that the way you two were smiling at me with your wide eyes and out of the blue asked me to come hang out was a little creepy.”
“Yeah,” I chuckle, rubbing my hand on the back of my neck. “I can see why you would say that.”
She giggles and the sound encourages me to move closer to her.
“So?” She quirks an eyebrow at me and jumps up to sit on the table.
“Jaime was trying to help me out,” I admit, stopping next to her at the table. I lean against it and look out the door. I can see Jaime and Patrick glancing at us and giving me a thumbs up. I roll my eyes at them. Why don’t you make it more obvious guys?
“Help you out,” Ryan repeats flatly. “With what?”
“Talking to you,” I finally look at her. She gives me an incredulous look. “You know you aren’t the easiest person to talk to, right?”
At that, she blushes and turns her face away from me. “Yeah, I get that,” she says quietly.
“Hey, I get it. After everything that happened…” I trail off, thinking about how Patrick mercilessly teased her in middle school. And how I didn’t do anything to stop him, even though I wished he would shut up.
“Yeah,” she mutters, still looking away.
“Hey,” I move closer to her and touch her hand.
She startles and looks down at my hand, still on top of hers. Slowly, her eyes travel up to mine and there is this look of fear and hope on her face that nearly kills me.
“I just want to get to know you a little bit, ok?” I say, softly, looking into her eyes.
She nods slowly, dreamily. Then, she seems to mentally shake herself. She gives a soft laugh. “There are less creepy ways to get to know someone.”
At that, I laugh out loud and smile down at her. I wanted to pull her into my chest and hold her, but I’m afraid of her reaction. “Yeah, I guess there are."
She jumps off of the table and pulls a pen out of her back pocket. Funny with how intently I was staring at her ass, I didn’t see the pen there. She grabs my hand that had been holding hers. Uncapping the pen in her teeth, she looks up at me quickly, then writes something on my hand. She is so close that I can smell her shampoo. Remember those Herbal Essences commercials? That was her shampoo. I could understand why those women were making those moans based on that smell. I close my eyes and inhale. Damn, it’s hard not to touch her.
Ryan stops writing. She lets my hand drop and steps back. I glance down at my hand and then back up to her face. “What’s this?”
“Another way to get to know me,” she says and leaves the room. I hear the bell ring when she opens the door. I look down at my hand and see a phone number. Hot damn!
-------
Ryan
Holy shit! Holy SHIT! HOLY SHIT! Did I seriously just do that? I just gave Carter Moore my phone number! I am hyperventilating. I speed walk over to my friends, but hear Carter calling my name.
I turn to see him jogging up to me with that lopsided grin on his face.
“Yeah?” I say, a little breathless.
“Can I call you tonight?” he asks.
“Sure. Um, I should be home around 7:30. You can call after that?” The statement comes off as more of a question then a statement.
“Ok. I’ll call you then.” He reaches out and squeezes my hand before walking away. I watch him jog to his friends. Patrick (can’t even get up the anger to call him a dickhead right now) hands Carter his books. Patrick sees my number when Carter grabs his books. He gives Carter a high five. Carter turns to me and waves. I smile back and turn towards the band room to get ready for Jazz Band.
I rush home from my appointment, stopping at what my girls and I affectionately labeled Taco Hell to grab something to eat. I get home just before 7:00 and rush through my homework. I sit in my room, next to the phone. Of course, I just gulped down a large Pepsi and am super nervous, so I have to pee. Just as I’m washing my hands, I hear the phone ring. I try to rush out of the bathroom, but my little brother is screaming, “I got it! I got it!” NOOOOOOO!!!! “Hello,” his little middle school voice squeaks. I try to run to the phone, but don’t get there in time. “Ryan!” he screams. “It’s for you! It’s a booo-oooy!”
I hear Ryan take a deep breath and sit up. I’m trying hard not to think of her laying on her bed while I talk to her. It will not help me focus on the conversation. “Go for it,” Ryan says. “Ok, question 1: Why do you like me?” I smile knowing that I'm throwing her question back at her. “Jugular, huh?” she says, wryly. “Yup,” I reply, smiling wider. “Well, you know that I’ve liked you for a while. I was initially attracted to your looks.”
Ryan is quiet on the other end of the phone, breathing heavily. I sit in shock. I look to see wet spots on my jeans and lift a hand to feel that my cheeks are wet. I’d had no idea I was crying. Ryan takes a breath on the other end, getting ready to speak. I quickly wipe my cheeks, attempting to get myself back together. If she can talk about this, I sure as hell can listen. “The next morning, Chris found us in his bed. I was battered, my face a mass of bruises. I had bite marks...everywhere. There was blood on me. And the bed,” Ryan says quietly. For as much as I want to hold Ryan, to comfort her, I want to beat the
Once Ryan heads upstairs, I stand up from the table and readjust my pants. My plan was to hug her the second I saw her, enveloping her in my arms and the warm scent of coffee and baked goods. However, when she opened the door with her pajamas still on, I got a little unfocused. Her short shorts and tank top left very little of her curves to the imagination and I could tell that she wasn’t wearing a bra. I doubt that she knew how she looked or she never would have answered the door that way. But after the story she told me last night, I couldn’t hug her for the first time with a raging boner. So, tuck and cover it was. Just something for me to think about later...
We didn’t really talk on the way to school. But it wasn’t uncomfortable. I hear Ryan singing quietly to the music. She isn’t going to win any singing awards, but it's sweet. Eventually, we pull into the parking lot. Ryan tries to let go of my hand, but I hold fast. She turns to look at me. “What’s up?’ “Let me take your bag.” I grab it from the floor. “Oh, thanks,” I smile at her and bring her hand to my lips. I graze her
I walk into second period English to have Ayo and Lucy wave me over to the seat they saved for me. Lucy hugs me, bouncing on her toes. “I’m so happy for you!” she squeals. “Thanks,” I giggle. I hold her shoulders down. “Stop vibrating, will you?” “Come on, Ryan, this is HUGE! This guy is basically all you’ve talked about since sixth grade!” Lucy says, swatting my arm. “Ouch! Can I at least sit before you mortally wound me?” I smile at her.
“Ryan? Are you ok?”I snap back to reality with Ms. Snow kneeling beside me. Ayo and Lucy are also crowded around my chair. For a second I don’t recognize where I am. I dimly register that I am hugging myself, shaking and crying. The thoughts of the trial had swept me away, completely overtaking my thoughts.“Would you like to go to Mrs. Lewdwig?” Ms. Snow's voice is quiet, but the room is, too. I know that everyone is listening, watching, judging.I nod. All my teachers know the situation and a plan is in place for me to leave class if I need.“Ok.” She pats my hand. I flinch and shrink into myself. She immediately pulls away. “Ayo. Lucy. Can you take
“Hey, what are you doing for lunch?” I ask Ryan as we’re packing up our instruments. Throughout the course of Band, she began to relax. She joked with Jax and me, seemed to get lost in the music, and kept throwing me these little smiles that made my heart race. She almost seems back to her usual self now. I'm happy to see her bounce back so quickly. “Um, nothing much. Just hanging with the girls,” Ryan says. “Do you want to come out to lunch with me?” “Where are you going?” “My mom made my favorite homemade pizza last night, so I was going to head home and grab some.”