Chapter 6

Four years ago

Tate

“Jesus. Seriously Tate? All this time, have you seriously thought Nana knows nothing about us?”, he asks, surprising me.

“Uhm..”, I try to come up with something to say but words elude me. The possibility that Nana knows about us has been a nagging thought in my mind for the longest time. But hearing him voice it makes me realize that she really has known all along. All the side comments, the knowing looks, oh my God, she knows!

“Nana knows everything in this house. I don’t know how you possibly thought that she didn’t know. But don’t worry, she won’t tell on us”, he continues, trying again to pull me to him.

“Yeah, but I still have to finish this”

“Ugghhh”, he’s groaning now and it makes me smile till I hear him speak up again.

“Oh hey chica”, he shoots down from the counter and goes towards Nana- I didn’t see her come in- then circles his arm around her shoulders and leads her towards the fridge.

“What is it now boy?”, Nana asks, trying to sound exasperated. It makes me laugh because it’s obvious she’s trying not to.

“Okay. So Tate would like to be excused from kitchen duty for a while so we can go hang out”. The knife I’m holding clangs to the plate as I whip my head around to glare at Nigel who winks- fucking winks- at me like it’s funny and we’re in on some secret plan. I don’t find it funny.

Nana turns to glare at him as well but she’s putting in as much energy as a vegetative patient.

“Okay fine. Steal her but don’t try this again or I’d whip your ass real good next time”, she smacks him with her spatula for good measure which draws a laugh from him.

“Okay, I promise Nana”, he says laughing and walking towards me, pulling my hands.

“Come on”, he cocks his head towards the door. I begin to remove the apron I’m wearing but he keeps on tugging me.

“Can you be patient? I need to get this off”. He turns to me and hastily unties the apron then slips it over my head, giving me a cheeky satisfactory smile.

“There, done. Now come on”

I roll my eyes as he takes my hand and pulls me again towards the kitchens exit all the way to our little cottage. The one in the manor compound but far away that no one really notices it. The manor is large and the cottage is an abandoned staff cottage. Nigel found it when we were kids and renovated it so we could play around in it. Now though, it’s a safe space for us. We get to play house here without worrying about being caught .

He uses his keys to unlock the door while I wait behind him, using the opportunity to openly admire him. He’s beautiful and he’s all mine- for now at least.

“Come on baby”, he calls to me when he finally unlocks the door. He leaves the door open for me to get in. The cottage smells like dust and flowers but still has that homely scent. It hasn’t been used in a while. I have my own keys but I only ever come here when Nigel’s around. Grudgingly, I admit that I don’t come here because it feels way too empty without Nigel. Nigel shuts the door behind and comes towards me, wrapping his arm around my waist and leaning in to settle his head in the crook of my neck.

“Hey”, he says. I shut my eyes in complete bliss. Having him with me is my own version of heaven. I turn around to face him but he doesn’t take his hands off my body for a second.

“Hey”, I greet back

“I’m glad I got you alone at last. I can’t even have done quality time with my girlfriend anymore”, he complains while rolling his eyes, his expression amusing me.

“It’s no one’s fault Nigel, your mom would skin us if she finds out”

“Yeah but till then…”, he kisses me, effectively shutting me up as he leads me to the bedroom. It’s the only bedroom in the cottage, a little cozy one just for us. He doesn’t take his lips off me as he lays me on the bed, slowly undressing me and caressing me in all the ways that makes me feel the most loved. I help him undress too and he makes love to me while telling me all the ways he cares about me. Carefully assuring me that I’m it for him and he could never want another. I don’t want another either because I’m ludicrously in love with him. There’s no redemption for me. He has me in a chokehold and he doesn’t even know it. Maybe it’s because I’ve never had a male friend or boyfriend besides him but I don’t want to either, not when I have him. We’ve been there for each other for so long. I’ve known Nigel since my family and I first moved in here when I was three. Nigel was eight back then and he was the kindest kid I knew. I cried a lot as a child and Nigel always comforted me. He would leave the house to seek me out around the manor fields just to give me snacks and sweets because he knew how much I cried. We became closer with time and by the time I was 10, Nigel and I were inseparable. He was like an overprotective big brother to me but I admit I crushed on him since I was eight. The crush never fizzled out though, it stood strong till when we were both teenagers. I don’t know if he knew but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, so I never actually told him. I simply kept it to myself. I was sixteen the first time he kissed me. It seemed like he regretted it because I didn’t see him for days after that. Shame was a constant in the days he refused to seek me out because I wished it was true, that I was finally getting what I wanted, the boy I loved but even he didn’t want me.