Cheryl In a few days, we had to travel back to London, and the kids having to leave Miles was a lot harder than I thought. They’ve only known him for like a week. So dramatic—Minnie didn’t stop crying until she fell asleep. Miles was just impressed that his dad owns an airplane.His friends’ ears at school are going to bleed because he’ll never stop talking about it.I was also in my feelings, feelings that made my chest hurt physically. I was scared of the reason because I knew it—but hated to admit it.I don’t want to leave him. I don’t know what I want, but I feel really bad, like I’m making a bad decision… like I’m ruining my life.I touched my cheek where he had pecked me earlier.Oh God.This is bad.For me. For Tristan.I don’t want to marry him and spend the rest of my life wanting the father of my kids—because he is always going to be a part of my life. Five months later“Pass me the knife, please,” I said to Tristan, who immediately grabbed the knife and p
Cheryl “Woah! You were like Superman yesterday, flying to catch Minnie!” Miles Jr yelled, dramatically reenacting the terrifying scene from last night.Senior Miles laughed heartily, stretching his leg out so little Miles could leap onto it in his silly attempt to recreate the moment. I would never be able to thank Miles enough for what he did last night. And yes, I know she’s his kid too—but still, that act was beyond selfless.I can’t imagine the fear he must have felt in that moment, already haunted by the loss of a child.I’m also just so relieved that Miles loves him—and thinks he’s cool.That’s a great start.I was worried for nothing.I don’t think they fully understand that he’s their dad yet. But we’ll get there.“Miles, get up and stop rolling on the floor,” I scolded, and he quickly scrambled off, grabbing Miles’s hand instead.“Your wristwatch is really cool! Does it work? There are bears in it—wait, is that a polar bear?” Kids and their endless questions.Laura, Minnie,
Miles“This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen,” I said, pacing like a madman. “I’ve just spent the past five years completely oblivious to the fact that I had children—real, flesh and blood children. And the whole reason I didn’t want to have kids in the first place was because of lives like mine. I was scared I couldn’t promise I’d always be there. I was scared I’d mess them up. I didn’t want to bring children into this world only to ask them to suffer because I couldn’t come through for them.”I dragged a hand down my face.“And now? Now I’ve had kids for five years. Five damn years I’ve been absent from their lives. Tell me, what do you want me to do now? How do I fix this? How do I just walk into their lives and pretend like I belong there?”My voice cracked.“Cheryl should’ve told me. She should have told me she was pregnant. I would never have asked her to get an abortion—never. But I had no idea. No idea she was pregnant. That divorce? It was an impulsive decision. I was
Cheryl The next morning was chaos. I barely had time to think about the encounter with Anna. I had to bathe the kids, get them dressed, get myself ready, and most of all—prepare emotionally. I was about to see people I had hurt deeply. People who might never forgive me.Anna was right.It hadn’t been five months.It had been five years.Five years of pain.Five years of worry.I tied my hair up in a ponytail and stepped back from the mirror, checking my short black dress, skin-toned socks, shoes, and my jacket. I spritzed on cologne and rushed downstairs.We were already running late.Minnie wore a matching black dress—just styled a little differently. Miles was in his little black shirt and pants.“Mummy, how did Grandpa Reed die?” Minnie asked as I wrapped my arm around hers in the car.“He was old, sweetheart. Old people die eventually,” I answered as gently as I could.Minnie turned to me for confirmation. I nodded. She didn’t look pleased by the reality.“Mummy, you’re squeezing
Cheryl I watched as Miles handed Minnie his chocolate bar—he had accidentally knocked hers out of her hands and they both knew better than to pick food up off the floor.It warmed my heart, honestly.“That’s exactly what Miles would have done,” Minnie sighed, leaning against my shoulder.She misses her brother, but they’re both so stubborn.“If you see Miles, please talk to him,” I began gently. “He loves you. He wasn’t trying to make your dad’s funeral about himself. You and your dad probably never even had a proper fight in your whole life, but it wasn’t the same for him. They never saw eye to eye—it was either yelling or silence. I think he hated that, and maybe he only really realized it after he died. He wasn’t trying to make it about himself, he was just… hurt. And they had just spoken the day before. I don’t know what they said, but it seemed like they were finally trying to get along.”I know Miles is an asshole, but he loves his sister. Maybe—just maybe—what happened between
Cheryl“I’ve been thinking…” I murmured, breaking the silence mid‑kiss as Tristan was undoing the buttons of my shirt in the middle of his office. His hands were warm, patient, and a little too distracting.“Hmmn, really?” he mumbled against my skin, lips brushing the curve of my neck, his breath hot and unsteady.“Yeah,” I said, forcing the words out before I lost my courage, “I’ve decided to attend the burial.”“Hmmn, okay,” he hummed distractedly, sliding his hands up my thighs, pushing my skirt higher as his fingers gripped my ass possessively.“Tristan,” I gasped, feeling his teeth sink softly into my neck, my hands bracing against his desk.“The kids… are they going to stay here with me?” he asked suddenly, pausing, his brow furrowing. He leaned back slightly, still holding me close.I swallowed, tugging my skirt back down, suddenly self‑conscious. I never used to feel shy with Miles—never. Maybe it’s because I’ve had kids now, but when I look in the mirror my body doesn’t look