The spy (14)

Silence.

A beat passes, and I can barely contain the tears threatening to fall. Never in my life have I ever put myself in such a vulnerable position.

“Earth to you.” Thirst Trap snaps a finger at me, and that’s when I notice he’s on his knees, hovering over me. His face is blurry, thanks to my tears, and I can’t read his expression. “The infamous tough girl, Wraith, is crying,” he says, propping his body on his elbows so he hovers closer to me, “what a day to be alive.”

“Fuck you!” I snap, fighting spirit coming back to me. No, I can’t be spiraling now. I need to be present. In any case, I consented to this. I can’t start playing victim now.

“Yeah, that’s more like it,” he laughs, moving off me and sitting on my left. “Sit your ass down so we can hash this out.”

I sit up slowly, feeling a bit sluggish from all the relaxation after an intense high. I glance to the right. First Guy has his eyes closed, and his breathing has evened out. No wonder he wasn’t saying anything. He did fall asleep, right? Pride swells in my chest. I gave him a head so good that it took him straight to sleep. That is a badass move right there.

“Get your ass up, big guy.” I shake him awake, and he looks at me, slightly disoriented. “You can sleep all you want later, but I need answers now.”

“Whatever,” he says, rubbing his droopy eyelids and dragging himself into a sitting position like I need him to. “What was the question again?”

“What is the plan?” I ask like someone discussing a high-risk mission.

“We don’t have a plan,” First Guy says, shifting to a comfortable position and folding one knee. “Why would we need a plan to fuck the girl we like?”

I’m glad they like me enough to admit it. At least that doesn’t make me feel used. It tells me they really desired me during the act, and I wasn't just filling my head with stupid scenarios. Whatever happened was as real as it gets. The knot in my stomach eases a bit, and I get more comfortable.

“I’m talking about when we aren’t fucking,” I say, looking into his eyes. “Or are you implying that I never get to leave this room? Is my role just a fuck girl?”

“No,” they both say in unison, turning their heads to look at me. “You are not a mere toy to us,” First Guy continues with a seriousness I wasn’t anticipating. “We are not that fickle.”

 I heave a sigh of relief. My question is half answered, but I still have more. “Why me?”

“We needed someone who can trust and survive our lifestyle,” Thirst Trap says, his voice low but firm. “In our line of work, it is hard to get such a combination, so we are mostly on our own, save for occasional night stands.”

“You check all our boxes,” First Guy says

 I raise an eyebrow, waiting for more. “Explain.”

“You have received special military training and have lived in highly dangerous situations, yet you still managed to stay alive.” He pauses, fixing his eyes on the wall as if he’s reading an invisible script. “Two, there’s mutual attraction. We don’t sleep with people we don’t feel attracted to, and knowing you, you wouldn’t let us touch you if you didn't want to, even if it meant death. The fact that you allowed it more than once means you are into us. We are into you. So why not give US a chance?”

I have nothing to refute. I am really into them long before I met them. They are sinfully handsome, and I wouldn’t pass up a chance with them if it weren't for their identities. And, yes, no one touches me without my consent. Ever. Unless they are tired of living. I am not as harmless as I seem. I didn’t get this far in my profession because of my beautiful face and giggles. I earned this spot. I am capable. And living a life in this other side of the law is a piece of cake for me.

“And you are someone we can trust,” Thirst Trap adds, placing his hand on my forehead and smoothing my hair with his thumb. 

The tenderness and conviction in his voice catch me off guard. That is the last thing I expected any of them to say. “Why would you trust me?” I ask, scrunching my brows, because this doesn’t make sense to me, no matter how much I think about it. “I’m not exactly a saint, and given my past, aren’t you afraid I’ll betray you?” 

“So, sugar plum.” First Guy pulls me in such that my back rests against his bare chest. “You have never been loyal to them.” He tilts my head back so I can look at him from below. “You were always loyal to us because deep down you know we are not evil.”

“Why do you say so?” I ask, but my question lacks the sharpness it had before. In any case, they are right about me not betraying them. I relax into him, allowing the gentle thudding of his heart to soothe me.

Thirst Trap scoots further down the bed and takes my feet in his hands. “Don’t think we don’t know you deliberately hid information about us from them.” He brings my leg to his lips and presses a soft kiss on the arch of my foot. “You had enough to destroy us, but didn’t. That says a lot about your loyalty.”

“Hmm,” I hum, a half response, half a moan. His thumbs work in a circular motion on my feet, massaging away the last of my doubts. I’m dead to the whole world anyway, and I can’t betray them even if I wanted to. So, there’s no need to give myself the short end of the stick. I’ve lived a life of hardship, but it is my turn to let others pamper me.

“The sex wasn’t a transaction,” First Guy whispers in my ear, his hand finding the curve of my breast. “That was us honoring your choice to stay.” His tongue grazes my sweet spot right below my ear, and I feel warmth flooding every cell in my body. “Now it is our turn to show you…” He trails off and takes my hand in his before pecking my lips ever so lightly, “…that you made the right decision to stay with us.”