Chapter 4

I took a cab home alone.

My red, swollen eyes stared back at me in the window while the tears kept coming, soaking through my sleeve.

So that was all I'd ever been to Ryan.

The maid's daughter who seduced him for his family's money.

No one knew our secret had trapped me for eight years.

It started in high school.

After my parents divorced, Mom had nowhere else to go. She took a job as a maid at the Whitmore estate, and the family used their connections to get me into the best high school in the city.

Mom never stopped reminding me to thank Mrs. Whitmore.

That day, I stood outside the Whitmore estate, clutching the huge gift basket Mom had put together.

Ryan was even colder back then.

He gave me one look, said nothing, and walked inside.

I didn't dare leave.

So I stood there and waited.

When Mrs. Whitmore finally came home, I worked up the nerve to hand her the basket.

She smiled politely and thanked me.

But she didn't take it.

I stood there awkwardly, unable to set it down or pull it back.

Then Ryan came downstairs.

He glanced over.

"What's that?"

Mrs. Whitmore's attitude softened instantly.

She gave me a warm smile. "Good girl. Wash one for Ryan, would you?"

I did as she asked and held out the fruit.

He looked at it but didn't take it.

Instead, he stood and walked past me, his shoulder brushing my hair.

I froze.

After Ryan left, Mrs. Whitmore took my hand.

"Now that you two go to the same school, I need a favor. Ryan keeps everything to himself. Watch him for me. If any girls get close to him—or if he starts dating—tell me. Okay?"

Spy on him?

I didn't want to.

But I couldn't say no.

Mrs. Whitmore was the reason Mom had a job at the estate. We owed her.

So I nodded.

From then on, I reported everything Ryan did at school.

Until one day, word got around that a girl had asked him to meet her on the rooftop.

Without thinking, I followed him.

But the rooftop was empty.

I turned to leave—and found Ryan behind me, arms crossed, a mocking smile on his face.

"So that's how my mom always knows where I am." His eyes narrowed. "There's a little traitor in my own house."

I'd been set up.

Everyone at school knew Ryan had a nasty temper and kept people at arm's length.

Terrified, I dropped my gaze.

"I'm sorry. I was wrong."

Then his cold lips slammed into mine.

My whole body locked up.

I stared at him in shock.

He stepped back, a cruel smile curling his lips.

"Go tell my mom I kissed you."

Shaking, I shoved him away.

"Don't touch me. I'll really tell her."

He didn't care.

He moved closer.

"Go ahead. Let's see who believes the maid's daughter."

Panic hit me hard.

Mom had finally escaped her broken marriage and landed this job.

It was all she had.

All we had.

I couldn't risk it.

From that day on, Ryan had me trapped.

He used that kiss against me and kept pushing every boundary.

Through high school.

College.

Then graduation and work.

Eight years.

Eight years in the shadows.

I stayed away from the Whitmores whenever I could.

If I ran into Ryan while picking Mom up, I'd lower my head and walk right past him.

Like we were strangers.

Like I hated him.

Even Mom believed it. She'd defend him and tell me not to judge him so harshly.

But I never hated Ryan.

Not once.

He always thought I stayed because I had no choice.

Only I knew the truth.

For the last half of those eight years, I stayed because I wanted to.

I knew we came from different worlds.

I knew he was controlling, obsessive, and way too much for me.

But back then, when my life felt empty and dark—

he was the only light I had.

He was right there.

Close enough to touch.

How was I supposed to stop myself from reaching for him?

Eight years of longing.

Eight years of lying to myself.

Today, I finally woke up.

The light I'd chased for eight years...

had always seen me as cheap.

Dirty.

The kind of girl who'd do anything.

For the first time...

I regretted it all.