SIDAPA “CAN’T breathe,” I said, and Libulan quickly released the hug. I lied. No one had ever hugged me before so it was an alien feeling. I couldn’t tell if it was comfortable or something I would find displeasing. Libulan wiped off his tears and sniffed, before flashing a smile. “I’m glad that you’re alive!” “Sorry for scaring you like that,” I apologized. “That’s why I didn’t want you to see me while I was making the machete. I had a feeling you’d react like this,” I told him. Libulan pouted, and scoffed at me before stomping his foot. “You should have told me beforehand! What if I actually stabbed you with my spear?” “Then I will just have to stop you,” I sarcastically replied. He was still annoyed and relieved at the same time, but he chose to close the topic and he asked me something that would likely change the way I saw things until now. “Hey, Sidapa… Those souls that weren’t given a chance to be reborn or forever rest in the afterlife, what exactly happens to them? I’ve
SIDAPA “WHAT an odd one,” I said to myself while staring at a soul that had just arrived moments ago. “It’s too tiny compared to the others,” I noticed, and gave it another stare. I was briefly distracted when the cold breeze of the wind brushed through my skin. I lifted my head up and realized that the skies were upset, and rain was coming. Libulan told me he would be a little late because he had a fight with his eldest brother, Likabutan. Yesterday, I promised him that I would show him how and where I sent those souls that already met their end. When Agui witnessed it one time, he was grossed out. He commented that I had the most boring role and job as a God. I didn’t feel upset, but I was not happy either. I just didn’t feel anything about it. If I were to be asked, I didn’t hate the idea of living, but death was also not something to be proud of. I just didn’t want any kind of attachment to these two. Because if I did that, I wouldn’t be able to let neither of them slip my han
SIDAPA “WHY is that?” I asked. “Because he already did enough. He died without regrets,” he reasoned. “Did I get it right?” “What you said is true,” I uttered, before I opened a little portal just below us. Libulan was alarmed. “Wait, what’s that for? That’s the portal towards the afterlife, right?” he reaffirmed. I just stared at him as I took back the soul with the use of the invisible force again and let it hover at the center of the portal. The size of the portal was a meter in diameter. Its center was pitch black, and a deep purple smoke was circling around its outer area. “Libulan, look at it for the last time,” I told him, and he stared at it and focused. He frowned. “It’s still blue,” he said. “Are you sure?” I tried to shake his thoughts. Libulan gave it another stare, and his expression slowly changed. “I can see some shades of black. It’s concentrated in the center,” he revealed. “That’s the core of his soul,” I clarified. “Although he did his role as a perfect lea
SIDAPA IT WAS burning hot. It was in the middle of the day and here I was flooded with new souls. “Why did it have to happen now?” I asked myself in exhaustion. “Is it mating season or something?” I tried cracking a joke, but it was awfully lame. I now found it awkward talking to myself like this since Libulan became part of my life. At first, his presence was annoying. He was a pesky little one, too. I called him ‘little’ because he was literally short for someone who was a God. He was only 5 feet and 5 inches tall, and a total klutz. I also discovered that he wasn’t a fan of anything scary. He revealed to me that when we first met, he thought that I was going to eat him alive, or lock him up somewhere. Before, I felt offended by those kinds of first impressions, but Libulan was so honest about it that it only proved how pure hearted he was. It didn’t stop him from interacting with me. “Sidapa!” I flinched when I heard Agui’s voice. His sudden visit only meant one thing. [The fes
SIDAPA EVENING came. I finished just in time. A few died today, but most of them ended in the afterlife. “Did I make it?!” I almost fell off my tree when Libulan popped out of nowhere, haggard and a little disoriented. “Libulan? What happened to you?” I asked in awe, and came down by jumping directly to the ground. It created a loud thud, and small animals nearby ran in fear and hid somewhere safe when they saw me. [Even animals can sense the danger in me. So why can’t Libulan?] I wondered as I looked at the clueless Moon Deity. I didn’t become the God of Death just to deliver some cringe nonsense to be laughed at. In this physical world, I was the symbol of fear and the epitome of death. My looks weren’t just for show. I was meant to look hideous so I could bring out the negative sides of mortals. A human heart’s desire was the most fragile thing to deal with. If you inflicted it with the tiniest bit of fear, they could transform into something unimaginable. But fear could also
SIDAPA “THAT bear must be its mother. She was just trying to protect her young!” Libulan defended. That said, the bear that almost attacked Libulan and me was very anxious. But she chose to display a brave front in order to hide the presence of her little one. I stopped using my powers and didn’t do anything that would agitate the mother bear anymore. When she realized that I was no longer a threat, she went back to her baby and they took off. After that, Libulan came running to me and hugged me. “I thought you were going to leave me alone for good,” he cried. “Huh?” I frowned. “Libulan, you’re—” “Do you hate me, Sidapa?” he asked, and lifted his head up to me. He was teary eyed. “I don’t hate you,” I replied but he wasn’t convinced. “Then why do you always try to push me away? Am I an eyesore to you?” he added, and his tears fell down. “I wasn’t,” I denied. “You did! You always did!” he insisted. “I can’t understand your actions. You’re a mystery to me, Sidapa. But even so, I
SIDAPA “BE careful!” I told Libulan. We descended at the foot of the mountain. I wanted Libulan to see how lively the festival would be tonight. People in this village would sing, dance, and eat all together. They would all gather near the bonfire. “Wow~” Libulan gaped in awe when he saw a few of them busy chattering using a distinctive dialect that they used to communicate to each other. We concealed ourselves behind a very thick bush and a large tree that had huge branches and thick leaves. It was easier for me to hide but not for Libulan. His hair and skin color would stand out. “Amazing, isn’t it?” I said in a low voice. I still had a deep voice despite my current form. “Yes!” Libulan agreed. “Those kids over there,” he pointed a finger at a group of kids gathered in a small circle. They were a mix of boys and girls. “They’re saying something but I can’t understand it, Sidapa,” he said. “Oh. They are just talking about random stuff like what they want to become when they gro
SIDAPA “APPARENTLY, Gods need love, too. That’s why some of us marry other fellow Gods or Goddesses,” Libulan informed. “I am the offspring of *Lihangin and *Lidagat,” he revealed. “Some say that Gods were forbidden to have children with mortals because it might bring chaos between the existence of the two species. But I had no idea that having an intimate relationship with the same sex was a taboo,” he said with a sad expression. “Sidapa… Do you really think that it’s a sin for us to love each other? Because I see nothing wrong with it.” I tucked some of Libulan’s hair strands at the back of his left ear. It gave me a good view of his beautiful face. The delicate look in his eyes had a calming effect on me. His sweet demeanor was something I wanted to protect at all cost. His soft and silly expressions and his funny mood swings brightened up my evenings. He unlocked these desires that I never knew I had, and made me yearn for more. “Libulan, look into my eyes,” I instructed him, an