Every Promise Was a Lie

The sounds from the living room got louder.

Every filthy word went into my chest like a needle.

My first instinct was to run, and my foot caught a chair.

The crash brought both their heads around.

"When did you get home?"

Sabrina asked it with a frown.

I didn't answer her. I talked past her, to myself.

"It must be starting again. Otherwise Bree would never do something this shameless."

"She isn't that kind of woman."

I said it, ignored the look on her face, and turned toward the bedroom.

"I need my pills. It's getting worse."

I was still muttering when I shut the door.

The second it clicked, I slid down the back of it to the floor.

My hand was still balled up in my pocket.

My nails were buried in my palm.

When I opened it, there were four little crescent cuts in the skin.

For as long as we'd been married, Sabrina and I were the couple our friends held up as an example.

After the diagnosis, she never left my side.

I'd always believed marrying her was the luckiest thing that ever happened to me.

Everett Sloan had been my closest friend for more than twenty years.

He was also the psychiatrist treating me.

I thought about the look on the other doctor's face after he finished the evaluation.

No wonder it took him two appointments to tell me I could stop the medication.

I picked up the bottle off the nightstand and dropped it into my bag.

The noise outside started up again, in fits and starts.

With no expression on my face, I ordered a set of indoor security cameras on my phone.

Then I called a lawyer.

The living room finally went quiet that night.

The rain outside picked up until it was coming down hard.

I sat by the window and let the water hit me.

It was below freezing, and I couldn't feel the cold at all.

Inside me there was just a wide, empty stretch where something used to be.

I don't know how long it was before the door opened.

Sabrina came in with her handbag on her arm, doing an impression of a woman who'd just gotten off work.

I didn't turn around, and I didn't get up to meet her the way I always had.

She didn't seem to notice.

She changed, washed up, and came over to me.

"Dec, what's wrong?"

She asked it carefully, like she was afraid of setting me off.

I looked back at her and said nothing.

The calm on my face made her tense up immediately.

"Dec, did you see something again?

"None of it's real. Let me get your pills."

All that worry in her voice almost made me laugh.

That act had fooled me for years.

Looking at her closely now, I could see the mockery sitting underneath the concern in her eyes.

When I didn't react, Sabrina turned straight for the medicine cabinet.

"Don't. I'm fine."

I hadn't spoken in so long that my voice came out rough.

She studied me, suspicious.

"Dec, don't try to tough it out. I'm not going anywhere."