005

The pink liquid splashed across the front of Emily's dress as she approached, and her face instantly scrunched up with fury.

"You clumsy piece of shit!" she screamed, loud enough to make heads turn. "This dress cost more than your scholarship!"

The entire deck went quiet. Conversations stopped mid-sentence, and Luca felt dozens of eyes boring into him. Heat flooded his face as whispers started sneaking through the crowd.

"Emily, it was an accident," Ryan said sharply.

"Was it?" Her voice was offensive now, drawing more attention. "Or maybe some people just don't know how to behave around their betters."

The insult hit like a slap. Luca heard fragments of conversation from the growing crowd: "scholarship kid," "doesn't belong here," "pathetic."

"That's enough," Ryan said, his voice deadly quiet.

"Is it?" Emily's smile was vicious. "Because I think we're just getting started."

She was enjoying this, Luca realized with growing horror. She'd orchestrated the whole thing, used the crowd and the spilled drink as an excuse to humiliate him publicly. And it was working. Phones were coming out now, people recording his mortification for social media.

"I need to go," Luca said quietly, pushing through the crowd toward the door.

He stumbled through sliding glass doors into what looked like a library, books lining the walls from floor to ceiling. His chest was tight, his breathing shallow. The humiliation burned through him like acid, but underneath it was something worse: the knowledge that Emily was right. He didn't belong here. He was just a charity case playing dress-up in a world that would never accept him.

"Luca."

He spun around to find Ryan standing in the doorway, his face consumed with guilt and something that might have been desperation.

"Don't," Luca said, backing toward the windows. "Just don't."

"She's jealous," Ryan said, closing the door behind him. "She knows how I feel about you, and she's—"

"How do you feel about me?" Luca laughed, but it came out broken. "You feel embarrassed by me. You feel sorry for me. That's not the same thing."

"No." Ryan was moving closer now, his blue eyes blazing. "That's not how I feel at all."

"Then how do you feel?" The question exploded out of Luca, in a desperate manner. "Because I'm tired of guessing, Ryan. I'm tired of reading between the lines and hoping I'm not imagining things."

Ryan stopped three feet away, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. For a long moment, they just stared at each other, the pain of two years and a thousand unspoken words hanging between them.

"I feel like I can't breathe when you're not around," Ryan said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "I feel like every day since you left has been gray and empty and wrong. I feel like seeing you again has woken up parts of me I thought I'd killed."

Luca's heart stuttered. "Ryan—"

"I'm in love with you." The words came out almost impulsive like Ryan was afraid he'd lose his nerve if he didn't say them fast enough. "I've been in love with you since we were fourteen, and I'm tired of pretending I'm not."

The confession hit Luca like a physical blow. Everything he'd dreamed about, everything he'd convinced himself was impossible, but his palm became sweaty and his heart pounding so hard, this was not how he was supposed the feel after hearing this, he knew it and he knew exactly why he was feeling this way.

"You have a girlfriend," he said weakly.

"I have a beard." Ryan's laugh was bitter. "I have a convenient arrangement that keeps my father happy and the gossip satisfied. But I don't have what I want."

"What do you want?"

Ryan's eyes were burning now, intense with hunger in them and so full of longing it took Luca's breath away. "You. I want you."

The space between them seemed to close with possibility. Luca could feel his heart trembling, could feel himself leaning toward Ryan like a plant toward sunlight.

"We can't," he whispered, but he was already moving closer. "Your father, my scholarship, Emily—"

"Fuck Emily. Fuck my father. Fuck the scholarship." Ryan reached out, his fingers ghosting across Luca's cheek. "I'm tired of living for other people."

"If they find out—"

"Then let them." Ryan's thumb traced his lower lip, and Luca's breath caught. "I'm done hiding."

The kiss, when it happened, was passionate. Ryan pulled him forward with desperate hands, their mouths crashing together with two years of pent-up longing. Luca melted into him, his hands fisting in Ryan's shirt as every nerve ending came alive.

It was nothing like their almost-kiss in middle school. This was hungry and desperate and absolutely devastating. Ryan kissed like he was drowning and Luca was the air he needed to survive, like he'd been waiting his whole life for this moment.

"God, Luca," Ryan gasped against his mouth. "I've wanted this for so long."

"Me too," Luca breathed, then pulled him back down for another kiss.

They were pressed against the window now, the cool glass at Luca's back and Ryan's warm body caging him in. Ryan's hands were in his hair, his mouth moving to Luca's neck, and Luca had to bite back a moan.

"Someone could see," Luca managed to say.

"I don't care." Ryan's voice was rough with want. "Let them see. Let everyone see." The entire hair on his skin had strain. His entire body was hot and consumed with lust.

But even as he said it, some part of Luca's brain was screaming warnings. They were at a party full of their classmates, pressed against a window where anyone could see them. This was reckless and dangerous and could destroy both their lives.

He was about to pull away when Ryan's mouth found his again, and all rational thought fled out. There was only this: Ryan's hands on his skin, Ryan's desperate whispers against his lips, two years of longing finally given voice.

When they finally broke apart, both breathing hard, Ryan rested his forehead against Luca's.

"I meant what I said," he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too," Luca said, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. "I've loved you since we were kids."

Ryan's smile was brilliant, transformative. For a moment, he looked like the boy Luca remembered from San Diego – open and vulnerable and absolutely beautiful.

Then the library door opened, and Emily walked in as they both pulled away from each other, their eyes widened while still trying the catch their breath.