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CHAPTER 23

Author: Antonia.Rovayo
last update Last Updated: 2025-06-29 17:40:44

We eat in silence for a little while, trying the other appetizers, but I can't entirely focus on the taste because my mind keeps whispering to me, telling me how normal this all feels, but shouldn't.

"So many thoughts going on behind those beautiful eyes," he says, his voice low, making me look up at him. "Care to share?"

"I was thinking this feels very much like a date."

"Would that be so bad, if you were on a date with me?"

His question stuns me. And confuses me, because I can't figure out if he truly wants to know the answer, or if he's playing with my emotions.

"No, it wouldn't at all." I look away from his smile, pretending to focus on getting a piece of glazed pear. "But if this were a date, we'd be learning about each other right now."

"I thought we already were. But go ahead, learn."

I give him an exasperated face. "How do you have a way of seeming like you're demanding me to do the very thing I just told you to do?"

He smirks. "Is that your first question?"

"Insufferable." I
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  • FILTHY DREAMS   CHAPTER 78

    "I think you chose to lie to him about how you feel and are lying to yourself that you'll be okay without him," Laury tells me."Can't you ever just let a girl delude herself, Laury?""A friend would never." But she says it with a smile.I look down at Shawn, because it seems easier to look at him than at the truth staring back at me in Laury and Sarah's faces. The truth that I should have been honest with him. That I should have told him how I felt and asked him if there was anything in his heart for me, or offered him an opportunity to give me his truth and say that he wasn't interested in that with me. I should have given him a chance. A chance. But now, it's too late."I love him," I say softly, if only because I feel like I need to say it to someone. I could only ever say it to Jackson while he slept. I need to tell someone awake. But even as I repeat the words, I still don't look at Sarah and Laury. I can't. "I love him. I love him. And I'll never have him.""Oh, don't cry, or I

  • FILTHY DREAMS   CHAPTER 77

    Something he used to make a meal for me back when he still looked at me with warmth in his eyes. I'm sure I won't find that warmth there if I see him now.I grab a bagel from the counter and don't even bother to toast it, just keep it clenched between my teeth as I head for my shoes. Then I'm looking back at my house. It's been filled with the last of Jackson's presence these past few days. Both consoling me and haunting me. Leaving here today feels like I'm losing all of that the moment I set foot outside. But I need to let it go. Let him go. So I step outside and shut the door behind me.I blast music the entire way to Sarah's house to keep myself from thinking... much. But once I'm in the house, hugging Sarah and Laury, getting to hold Shawn again, my thoughts aren't so troublesome anymore. Or at least, I thought they weren't bothering me as much until Laury asks if I'm okay for the third time."Yeah." I smile at her. "I'm feeling much better."But her eyebrows only furrow, and she

  • FILTHY DREAMS   CHAPTER 76

    He tosses my phone to the bed as if it's offended him, scorched him, and runs his fingers through his hair."So what the fuck was everything we just did?" He looks everywhere but at me as he speaks. "A mistake? Just something you gave into?" He stops, going so still that I don't dare to breathe in the silence that suddenly fills the room. Then he turns, eyes narrowing, but I can see the suspicion in them clearly. "Was this goodbye sex? Was that what that look in your eyes was about? You doing something you felt you had to do one more time?""No!" I exclaim. "I wanted that. I wanted every single thing that happened.""So what the fuck is the problem? Because you're telling me you wanted it, still want what we do, but your text is saying we can't do it anymore.""This just isn't... working for me anymore," I pathetically lie."You mean, I'm not working for you."Why does he look... hurt?"I never said that," I say low."You don't have to. You clearly haven't lost your desire for what we

  • FILTHY DREAMS   CHAPTER 75

    God, what kind of person am I that that image turns me on. Makes me want to push him just to see if he'll actually do it. He will. I know he will. And that's a part of what turns me on most. That he can hurt me and please me at the same time."What are you waiting for?" he asks as he drops back down to the pillows, hands going back to my hips, flexing there, urging me on.Swallowing, I rise up to reach between our bodies. When my hand slides over his pubic area, I can feel my wetness there, all over him, warm, slick. It's on his cock too and coats my hand as I wrap it around him. I position him at my opening and begin to lower.His eyes become half-lidded as I slide down on him. That stretch that I love so much makes me hiss, giving me sparks of pain until I'm seated on him. We've never done this before, me on top, looking down at him. Doesn't this mean I have the power now? Me controlling him for once? As if he can hear my thoughts, his eyes narrow at me, his nostrils flare, and his

  • FILTHY DREAMS   CHAPTER 74

    "Yeah, a tease and a whore. Look at you.""Fuck you," I shout in his face.He stops sliding into me but crashes his mouth down on mine. His kiss takes my breath away, makes my hands move from his shoulders, inching toward the back of his head, wanting to hold him to me so his tongue can't stop meeting mine, so I don't losethe feeling of his lips. But they still because no, this is the last time. I need to make it everything we could ever be, everything I will never be able to find with someone else. So, I stop kissing him back, and bite down on his tongue. He hisses as he tears his mouth away. The red of his blood is on the crease of his lips as he looks down at me in surprise. And lust is there, always lust, because it's clear he liked that as much as I did, that he likes the taste of blood in his mouth as much as I do."Such a pretty mouth should not do such dirty things," he snaps. "But if you want your mouth to be dirty, I'll make it fucking filthy."He pulls out of my pussy, leav

  • FILTHY DREAMS   CHAPTER 73

    A shiver races down my spine, and Jackson’s smirk tells me he doesn't miss it. Heat rushes through me, all seeming to settle at my bare pussy, making me all too aware of just how ready I am for him to take me. I lick my lips at just the thought of any part of him between my thighs, and his eyes track my tongue's movement. Then, in an instant, his face changes, from smiling to stern, and I know playful Jackson is gone. In his place is the man who makes me give him control over every inch of me, whether I want to or not.He shoots forward and before my gasp has even fully left my lips, his mouth is there, stealing the sound from me while his hands push against my shoulders. My back painfully collides with the dresser, it's handles digging into my skin, but I can't focus on that when his tongue is demanding entry into my mouth, intruding past my lips so I have no choice but to submit to our kiss and open for him. But, as good as it feels, my guilt is present, telling me that I shouldn't

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