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IT'S THE HARDEST THING I'VE DONE IN YEARS
Tanggal publikasi:
2025-11-05 18:03:19
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FOUR SHADES OF DREY I SEE YOU EVERYWHERE
Chapter 122Dreylen said nothing. He sat at the end of the table folding his napkin into smaller and smaller squares, his eyes lowered, until it was a tiny white knot in his palm. Then he looked up and met my gaze, and his face gave nothing away, but something in the grey of his eyes looked like a door closing softly."When?" he asked."Saturday."Nobody spoke. Somewhere down the hall a clock chimed nine. Then Dreyden stood, pushed in his chair, and said, in a voice so controlled it hurt to hear, "I'll arrange a car.""I can...""I'll arrange the car, Aurelia."He left the room. Drayton stared at his empty plate. Dreyven looked at me as if he wanted to say a hundred things and couldn't find the first one.I had won something. I had claimed my own life back. So why did it feel as though I'd just walked out on the only warm room I had ever known?On Saturday morning I walked out of the penthouse on my own feet.It took me eleven minutes to cross the lobby with the cane. All four of the
FOUR SHADES OF DREY I KNOW YOU ARE
Chapter 121"Why not?""Because I like all four of them the same." It came out smaller than I meant it to. "Not the same in the way that they're identical. I know them apart in the dark, Sienna. When Drayton walks into a room, my whole body knows it's Drayton. When Dreylen looks at me, it's a completely different feeling from when Dreyven does. And it's not that I can't choose. It's that every one of them feels like a different piece of something I lost."She stared at me a long time. "That's the most terrifying thing you've ever said to me.""I know.""You're going to get hurt."I let out a laugh with no humor in it. "When have I ever not been?"Sienna flinched, as if I had slapped her."That's not fair," she said quietly."It's true, though." I looked at my own hands, my working hands, resting in my lap. "I've been hurt so long that it feels like a normal weather. At least this time the hurt might come with something worth having."She pulled herself up and sat beside me on the be
FOUR SHADES OF DREY YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO THEM
Chapter 120"Say something," I called over the noise."I can't.""Why not?""Because I think if I say it, you'll disappear."I walked toward him. Six steps, then a seventh, the cane tapping against the wet stone, my legs burning. He didn't move. When I reached him, I put my free hand flat on his chest, and I felt his heart hammering there as hard as mine."I'm not going anywhere," I said.It wasn't a lie. That was what frightened me.These past few days, I'd decided to go with the flow. I still don't understand how I felt about them but I knew that the revenge no longer stand.Though revenge is sweet but these four men are sweeter.He cupped my face in both hands as if I were made of glass, and kissed me slow and soft while the rain poured over us and the whole city blurred.It tasted like salt and water. I fisted my hand in his soaked shirt and pulled him closer, he made a sound low in his throat that I felt in my knees.When he leaned back, his eyes were wet, and it wasn't only the
FOUR SHADES OF DREY STAND IN THE RAIN
Chapter 119AureliaNobody said a word about the kiss after that.I lay awake most of that night with two fingers pressed to my mouth, sure I had dreamed the whole thing. By morning I had almost talked myself into it. Then I was wheeled into the dining room, and there sat Dreyden at the head of the table in a pressed grey shirt, reading something on his tablet with a face so calm it could have been carved."Good morning, Aurelia," he said, and slid the butter across to me.That was all. He didn't look up. But when he stood to refill his coffee, he passed behind my chair, and his hand rested on the back of it for one second longer than it needed to. His fingertips brushed my shoulder, light as a breath, and I dropped my toast into my lap."You okay?" Drayton asked from across the table, his mouth full of bacon."Fine. Slippery butter.""That's not how butter works," Dreylen said mildly, and went back to his eggs.Dreyden kept his eyes on his tablet the whole time. The tips of his ears
FOUR SHADES OF DREY SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING COLD
Chapter 118I should have said something cold. I should have pulled out the old anger and used it as armor. I could blame him for everything. Instead, I looked at his face in the low terrace light, at the tired lines and guilty eyes, and I said, "You might."He looked up. The whole night seemed to stop.His hand moved to the arm of my chair, close to mine but not touching. Close enough that I could feel the warmth of it. His eyes dropped to my lips, and mine dropped to his, and for a moment I was sure this was it."Dreyven," I said."I know." He swallowed hard. "I know."He stood, gently pulled the blanket higher around my shoulders, and pushed me back inside without another word.That night, alone in my bed, I stared at the ceiling and let the questions I'd been avoiding finally rise to the surface.Why did they always stop?Every time. Every single time, they came close enough to touch, and then one of them pulled away with some gentle excuse. And they all did it in the same caref
FOUR SHADES OF DREY I DIDN'T THINK I'D EVER SEE IT AGAIN
Chapter 117AureliaMy leg moved on a Monday morning, and I was the only one who saw it.Marta hadn't arrived yet. The nurse had left to fetch my breakfast tray, and I was lying alone in bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about nothing in particular, when my right knee bent.Just a little. Just enough that the blanket shifted over it.I stopped breathing. I stared at the shape of my leg under the sheet and told it to do it again, and it did. The knee slid up slowly, shaky and weak, like a door that hadn't been opened in years.I laughed out loud, alone in that big room, and then I started crying, and then I laughed again. I didn't call anyone. For a few minutes, I wanted the moment to belong only to me.When Marta came that afternoon, I showed her first. Then she told the boys, and the penthouse went loud again, Drayton shouting, Dreylen smiling, Dreyden turning away to hide his face, Dreyven standing so still I thought he might not be able to move.By the end of the week, I co
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