dos

Remember your first day of going to school? Can you remember the fear you felt in stepping into the school grounds?

You felt hesitant, unsure, with no confidence that you'd ever find any friends? But then you meet someone and your entire day has changed.

It starts to become better.

That was how I felt over the next few days.

I was too eager to get to work. Too excited to be on the floor.

The fear that I had the very first time I  stepped onto the floor now turned into a different kind of confidence.

A feeling of unmatched interest and willingness to just get out there and explore.

I grew happy every time she would take over a call. Just hearing her voice was soothing to my senses.

It was a severe obsession I have grown to have.

We were on the chimney that lunch break, together with Jeremiah and her.

"Well, can't say No anymore right?"

"Of course, you can't."

They were both talking something about the business.

I grow jealous sometimes when I don't get to talk to her on that same level.

Maya-maya lang ay nagpaalam na si Travis, sumunod naman si Jeremiah sa kanya.

"You gonna be okay here?" Jeremiah asked.

"Yeah. I'll be up in a minute anyway."

"Okay then."

Dalawa na lamang kaming naiwan.

"One more?" I asked handing her another stick of ice blast.

"Sure." she reached for it and I could literally feel the smooth linger of her fingers against mine.

Napasinghap ako habang sinisindihan ang sigarilyong hawak.

Humithit siya mula sa stick at nagbuga ng usok.

"How are you doing so far?"

Tila ay natameme ako.

"I'm... I'm doing great. Maayos naman. A little overwhelming but great."

"That's good to know." nagpatuloy siya sa paghithit ng sigarilyong malapit na din maubos.

I took note of her every move. How she slowly breathed in the smoke and let it out again.

Her lipstick that's leaving small smudges on the edge of her cigarette. How her fingers twirl around the small cigarette stick.

Kung kasalanan man ang ginagawa ko ngayon, patawarin mo ako Lord. But something about this woman is wrecking havoc inside me and I can't quite figure it out yet.

It felt like every single thing she does is becoming erotic. Every single move tickles my brain like a puzzle.

"Are you liking what you're seeing?"

Napalunok ako ng unti-unti ay naging malinaw ang mga sinasabi niya.

Have I been staring for a long time?

"Ahmmm."

She looked drastically cold as she put out the fire from her stick.

"I said do you like what you're seeing?"

"I'm.. sorry."

"Stop staring. You look like your about to get a hard on just by looking at me sucking that stick. Baka naman sa susunod iba na ang iniisip mong i-suck ko."

She left as soon as that bomb got dropped on me.

I honestly never thought of those things. Pero napakapa ako sa ibaba. Baka kasi unknowingly, something is starting to grow down there.

Napasinghap ako nang muling naisip na ganun ang epekto ng pagyoyosi niya sa akin.

I dismissed the thought and walked back inside the building.

Naabutan ko pa siya sa elevator and unfortunately, kaming dalawa lamang ang nadoon and the training area is on the freaking 15th floor of the building.

I wished no one would come in and ride with us.

Sa pagkakaalam ko, kami lang ang tanging bpo sa building na 'yun. And most of the other tenants come in the morning.

We stood on opposite sides of the elevator.

As soon as the elevator started moving, I took it as an opportunity to apologize.

"I'm sorry about what happened a while ago. Hindi naman ganun ang iniisip ko. I'm really sorry if it seemed like it."

"No worries. I'm used to it."

"Used to what?"

"Used to people objectifying me."

"But I wasn't objectifying you." nararamdaman ko na ang pamumula ng pisngi ko dahil sa hiya. This is definitely not a conversation I'd want to have with a woman that's making me feel unknown feelings.

"So what were you doing?"

Dahan-dahan ay lumapit siya sa banda ko. I could feel myself stiffen as she comes closer.

"I'm just confused."

"About what?"

"About everything. How you look ecstatically sexy even when you're just smoking."

She smirked. Kita pa iyon ng peripheral vision ko kahit hindi naman ako nakatingin sa kanya.

Bakit ba biglang bumagal ang takbo ng elevator?

"Really? You find me smoking as sexy?"

Dagli akong napalingon only to meet the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.

Namumungay na mga mata, mapupulang labi, and there I was again, fantasizing about kissing her.

"Masyado ka naman yatang bold. You know that office affairs are a big No-No right?"

"I.. I don't."

"Do you want one?"

Napalunok ako sa tanong niyang iyon.

"I..."

Bigla ay tumunog ang bell ng elevator.  She turned away from me and walked out like she didn't just ruin my entire elevator ride.

For the first time in my life, I've met a woman that has just ruined my sanity for a quick ten minute elevator ride.

What is going on?

Napahalukipkip ako habang pumapasok sa loob ng training room.

I was the last one to get in and Jeremiah's stare was too scary.

"Hopefully you won't be late again."

"Sorry."

Mabilis naman akong inakbayan ni Travis as he jokingly teased me lalo na't nahalata niyang halos magkasunod lamang kami ni Sari na pumasok.

"Dude, naka-score ka ba?"

"Shut up."

The moment I turn towards where she was, she's back into looming inside her hoodie.

Again, it's going to be another sleepless day.

The entire shift ended like it was a huge blur.

I kept dismissing the thoughts of her and me inside that elevator and how close we were.

Hindi ko mapigilang mapatanga paminsan-minsan dahil na din sa mga nangyari.

Something's wrong with me and this is not good.

Nang mag log-out na ay mabilis akong inakbayan ni Travis.

"Pre, si Jeremiah nag-aayang makipag inuman. Sama tayo."

"Ah eh.."

"Tara na, last shift na di ba. Wala tayong pasok bukas. Mahaba-haba pa ang araw."

"Ahmm.."

Bakit hindi, hindi rin naman ako makakatulog pag-uwi ko.

Hingi nalang ako ng tulong sa alak.

"O sige. Basta sagot mo ako pag nalasing ako ha."

"Oo ba."

Masaya pa itong kinabig ako pabalik para balikan namin si Jeremiah.

We had breakfast at a popular place just across our building. Matapos makapag-agahan, pumasok kami sa isang private ktv bar.

Nag-order muli si Jeremiah nang iilang pulutan at beer.

Nalula ako sa dami ng inorder nito.

"Parang ang dami naman SME."

"Don't worry may pupunta pa dito."

"Sino?" my heart skipped a beat, ayokong umasa but something inside me was saying that it is Sari.

I chose to distract myself with the drinks and the food. Crispy pata, sisig, at tambak-tambak ng beer.

Parang hindi nauubos ang pagkain at inumin.

Just after lunch, sa kalagitnaan ng pagbirit ni Travis, biglang bumukas ang pinto at iniluwa ang isang di pamilyar na babae sa akin.

I saw her one time in the production floor but I never really know what her role was.

Kasunod niya ay ang baklang inoobserbahan ko nung unang beses akong nag call observation, and then in a swift moment, I saw her.

She wasn't wearing her hoodie anymore.

She was wearing a simple v-neck white shirt at ang hapit na hapit na jeans.

Natitigagal ako sa saglit na pagtigil ng oras. Na tila ba sinisigaw nitong sa kanya ko lang ibuhos ang atensyon ko.

Na nang oras na iyon, nothing else matters but her.

"Bro, ingat lang ha. Mahirap habulin 'yan." nakipag-cheers pa sa akin si Jeremiah habang tila ako tangang nakatunghay sa kanya.

Shit!

I saw Jeremiah came to her and whispered something.

What is he telling her?

All of a sudden, her face lit up as she was telling Jeremiah something.

Napapangiti naman si Jeremiah habang mahigpit siyang niyakap.

Tila nabuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig.

Was something going on between them? Teka, nagseselos ba ako?

"Come on, let's order some more!"

Nagtitilian naman ang dalawang bagong dating.

"By the way guys, this is Stacy. I'm sure you already know her. Ang dakilang cross dresser ng production floor. This is Melai by the way," he turned to the other girl and introduced her to us, "She's part of the training team. Fun fact about the four of us is that magka-wave kami. And halos kami nalang talaga ang naiwan sa batch namin from way back."

"Hi Melai." Travis was grinning all over.

Putcha, may bago na namang target ang gago.

Isa-isa na silang nagsiupo and to my surprise, Sari sat down beside me. At the very corner of the seat, just across everyone else.

Oh no. If what we talked about last night didn't have any effect on me, I can't be assured that right now, it would be the same.

Gahibla nalang ang layo namin sa isa't-isa. Isang maling galaw, and I could very well be too close to her to get away.

"Alam ko na, maglaro tayo!"

"Melai ayan ka na naman eh." Jeremiah complained.

"Ay gusto ko yan! Sige, sige. Okay lang naman Sari di ba?"

I looked at her as she nodded to her friends.

"Ayan payag na siya." pumapalakpak pa si Tracy habang muling naupo sa tabi ni Melai.

"Okay, Game." Jeremiah finally submitted. "What's the game called?"

"It's the timeless tale of the game called-- Never Have I Ever."