4. Haunted balustrade

[Diana]

I stared at Janus Lakin, seventeen years old, the only son of the beta of our pack. I had seen him several times in the past, but never talked to him. My first impression of him was silent, cold, rude and a nerd.

I guess rude doesn’t apply when I call him silent and nerd because basically he could be introverted, but I was kind of mentally sick in the past and so are my impressions of other people.

Gosh! I seriously hate myself from the past. What exactly was I? A judgemental llama who thinks she is everything and the entire world is for her step upon. I was pathetic.

And now here I am judging myself when I have better things to worry about.

Janus’ sharp gaze behind his circular frames bore into me and then at the balustrade that I had kicked. 

“I had just heard about Princess’ temper. I guess rumours are not always wrong,” he said, and I felt the need to straighten my back and I don’t even know why.

Janus was famous for two reasons in the pack. One, for his mysterious nerdy dark vibes and two, for his unmatched God-like charms. He was perfect from every angle. I wish I could say the same about his personality.

After seeing him face to face, I got both those vibes from him, flooding my aura.

He squatted near the balustrade and caressed the air with his slim, long fingers. I widened my eyes, looking around with a frozen neck.

“It’s ok. Don’t be scared. Scary people don’t always go around kicking balustrades. Sometimes they just kick their necks and die,” Janus spoke to the air.

My hands flew to my nape as a chill crawled under my skin. I take that back. This boy is straight out rude, creepy and scary.

“Yeah. Right. In this world or dying people roam people who kill as well. But ironically, the killers get killed, too. How romantic.”

Janus was still talking to the balustrade or air, or what?

I got goosebumps all over my body. I felt as if someone was standing behind me. I turned around with a jolt, but no one was there. I gulped hard and shifted closer to Janus because he was the only visible man nearby.

“Excuse me,” I almost whispered with a cracking voice.

Janus got up and looked at me.

“Who are you… talking to?” I asked like an idiot.

He cocked a brow, revealing his dark, hooded eyes. I wished his words were that pretty. He pressed his spects up the bridge of his nose.

“The dead,” he said, and I coughed. Initially, the cough was fake, but later it turned real.

“I-I was not trying to hurt or offend anyone... I can’t even see. I hope you know. I am not rude or tempered like people say,” I said, with lots of unnecessary breaks between my words.

“Really?” He scanned me with judgemental eyes.

He was covered in shades of black and grey from top to bottom. He was wearing a dark grey high neck sweater, black pants, a black trench coat and black shiny leather boots.

His was mostly ruffled, but the winds made it look like he had side fringes.

Even the book he was holding in his hand had a black book jacket. I tried to find the title of the book, but it was a plain black jacket. Honestly, I was least interested in knowing what kind of books a boy who talked to the dead read.

“Yes! I was angry for a reason,” I said.

He crossed his hand across his chest, leaning against the balustrade. “What reason?”

“That…” I don’t know why I had an urge to tell him, but then I held back. “That’s none of your concern.” I said, a little harshly.

“Well, it is because you can’t come to the only place giving me little peace in this fucked up world, try to destroy it and walk out without an explanation.”

“I wasn’t trying to destroy it!” I snapped. “I just kicked!”

He cocked a brow.

“Ok, punched as well. But… look at me. The only thing I can destroy with twig-like limbs is my life, which is basically being destroyed by my step-mother,” I said in a flow and regretted instantly.

“Interesting. I heard the only person the princess loves was her step-mother. I guess rumours are not always right,” he said with a slight shrug. “If you tell me how your life is being destroyed, I can convince them…” he looked around in the air as if there were several people around us and my heart skidded in my chest. “... to not make you kick your own neck.”

“How can a person kick their own neck?”

His face turned dark and grim. “Oh… when their leg is torn off their body… and someone hits their neck with it. I think that counts as a kick.”

I shuddered as I looked at him and the air around him.

“But what they want to know is… why did you kick the balustrade of the dead?” He said.

The way he said ‘they’ gave me chills every single time.

“I didn’t know this was a balustrade of the dead. I am new here,” I said.

What more did I need in my already drowning life to kill me faster? A haunted balustrade.

“Well, that’s not the point,” he said calmly. “Although I am the only person who knows this is the balustrade of the dead, and now, you know, too. So, you are basically a part of the dead family. You have two options: explain your actions or die by kicking your own neck and then join this dead family.”

“Was that a threat?” I narrowed my eyes as I gaped at him with uneven eyebrows.

“Did I make it sound like an apology?” 

My jaw dropped at his sarcasm.

“Certainly not. Ok. I don’t wanna be jinxed or dead… so here goes nothing… my step-mother has bribed Fin, the maths teacher of Xenon academy, to fabricate my results of the written exams so that I can’t study here and I don’t know what to do,” I said, tears brimming my eyes.

He silently examined me. I knew people would never believe me.

“I know you don’t believe me, but that’s the truth and… umm…” I licked my lips, trying to hold back my tears, but they streamed out of my eyes. “And I fear my living family more than your dead family because my living family can kill me faster. Believe it or not, that’s the truth.”

I exhaled.

“I am sorry for kicking your dead family’s balustrade. Sorry for just existing!” I turned around and was about to leave when I felt his firm grip on my wrist as he turned me around to face him.

“I trust you,” he said, and I frowned, looking into his eyes.

“What? Why would you?”

“They…” he glanced at the air next to him. “... confirmed what you said.”

“Are you serious?”

“Did I make it sound like a joke?”

“No. But I thought no one would believe me,” I said with a shrug.

“Clear your tears. They are distracting me,” he said with a straight face.

“How exactly?” I asked hesitantly.

“Whenever I see tears, I have this really powerful urge to turn them into tears of blood,” he said, and I stepped back from him, quickly wiping off my tears.

“Thanks for trusting me though,” I said, biting my lips.

“Hmm. Now what? You will let them fabricate your results?” He said. “I don’t really care, but… my dead family is really worried about you.”

I looked around him feeling warmth from people I couldn’t even see, “so sweet. Thank you. I-I will find some way. Don’t know how… but some way…”

Excalibur honked. I saw my father’s car parked near the front gate of the castle.

“That’s my call. I need to go.” I stepped towards the stairs to leave, then turned to Janus. “Could you please keep our conversation a secret?”

“The only people I ever talk to are the dead and my father sometimes so…” he shrugged.

I smiled at him and nodded, “thanks. I’d love to meet you and your dead family again.”

He squinted his eyes. “I wouldn’t.”

I chuckled and left. I felt a lot lighter, but still there was that fear of being pushed down the stairs by some ghost in the back of my head.

*****

I was sitting at my study desk by the window. It was made of the richest wood and the top of the table was dark brown marble, with patterns that gave it a wooden effect.

It had space for the brown leather chair in the middle where I was sitting and four drawers at its side.  

There were several classic books arranged on the side of the desk where it met the wall.

I rarely read those books, but Vera did. So, I asked the royal librarian to keep sending those books. It was the same in the past. Although that was the only considerate thing I did for Vera in my past.

I pressed the nib of the fountain pen on the parchment as the ink flowed and absorbed in a floral circle. I sighed, scratching my head with the back side of the fountain pen. 

How do I sort this out? I rubbed my face, leaning back in my chair with a grunt.

Vera brought me tea, prepared it on my desk, and placed the rose tea with a calming aroma before me. 

She was about to leave when I held her elbow. She shuddered and looked at me.

I didn’t want her to fear me anymore.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” I told Vera through sign language.

The time I spent with her in my past made it easy for me to communicate with her.

She looked shocked, but a faint smile appeared on her face. I smiled back.

“Sit with me and have a tea, please,” I gestured through my hands.

She placed the tea tray on the desk and gestured that she dare not drink tea with me as equals. I was a princess, and she was just my maid.

“You are not just my maid, you are my personal maid. So, we are kind of like friends,” I gestured.

Pink crawled up her cheeks as she brought her shoulder closer to her neck. She looked hesitant, but I held her hand and made her sit next to me as I prepared tea for her. It was my way of thanking her for not abandoning me when the entire world did.

Plus, I seriously needed friends in this life — loyal friends. I knew no one could be a better friend than her.

Vera pressed her rose pink lips together and looked at me with uncertain eyes. I smirked slightly.

She was the cutest person I had ever encountered. Cute and gorgeous — inside out.

She held the cup in both her hands and sipped on the tea. Her silvery blue almond eyes sneaked a peek at me, but my eyes had been on her all the time.

She is so cute I could eat her up. Not literally, though.

I drew a classical tragedy and gave it to her. I knew she was a fan of tragic romance novels, especially with specially abled characters. Maybe she saw herself in those characters. 

She blinked nervously as she looked at me and then at the book in my hand, her breaths fastened. 

She was reading those books secretly and thought I didn’t know about it, but I did.

“You can read everything you want. If you need more books, just let me know. I will ask the royal librarian and get them for you,” I gestured.

She was still unsure, so I held out her palm and placed the book in it with a smile. She smiled and gestured to me, thank you. 

I nodded. I could see her happiness in her eyes as she got up with the tray and book in her hand, bowed, and left.

Being good to others wasn’t a selfless act, it was completely selfish.

Because the raw happiness other’s smiles brought to us couldn’t be compared to anything in this world. It made us feel good about ourselves even when we were rotting from the inside. Making others happy was the best way to hide the darkness we held within us.

“Honey bee!” I rolled my eyes at her voice. I turned back with a smile.

“Mother!” I said, trying to be as excited as I could fake. 

She stretched out her arms, and I hugged her.

“How were your exams?” she asked.

“I don’t know, mother,” I said with a pout.

“Aww~ My honey bee. I am so proud of you. You did it in one month. It’s really commendable. But in case, just in case things don’t go your way, don’t be disheartened, ok? Mother will create an academy at home for you, ok?” she said, pulling my cheeks.

“Yes mother,” I gave her a gummy childish smile with a giggle. I hugged her. “Mother is the best. I love you so much…” I had to stop myself from gritting my teeth when I said those words. 

“I saw you gave Vera a book,” she said with a smile.

“Yes. To return it to the library,” I said and Willa looked relieved.

“Oh, is that so? You are reading a lot nowadays,” she said with her pretty poisonous smile.

I smiled back. This woman literally has hawk eyes on me. The amount of control she had on my past life was starting to scare me.

*****

After doing some research on my own, I thought of a way, but for that I needed the help of a Xenon teacher whom I could trust blindly. 

And I remembered one such person. In the past, Reese once bullied a lower rank in the Xenon academy. Willa tried to cover up, but this one teacher went against the luna and alpha of the pack and stood for what was right. He considered pack rules above all ranks. I knew he could help me.

Because after all, he got Reese suspended from the academy for a month. Since it was the first time Reese was caught doing something like that, he wasn’t expelled.

Mother was very tense because of this teacher so he got my full attention back then. She kept saying she would make him pay for ruining her son’s reputation, but in the end, she couldn’t even hurt his shadow. Some people were just born strong.

Mr Archer, classical English literature teacher of the Xenon academy, was one such naturally powerful person who remained in shadows all his life, but when he came out in light, all other colours faded.

I had to arrange a secret meeting with Mr Archer. I couldn’t let anyone know of this meeting, especially my mother, or it might alert her, which was the last thing I wanted.

Paper checking would start a day after the exams. I had to do something before it.

And I knew a person who could easily arrange a secret meeting with him. Since Mr Archer was our beta’s younger brother, Janus would definitely know him.

*****

After monitoring the balcony for a whole day through Excalibur, Janus finally showed up. I dashed out of the car, upstairs, where Janus was reading a black jacketed book.

“Hi,” I said, panting.

Janus stood like a stone, not even caring about my presence there as his eyes skimmed through the lines of the book.

I never said convincing him to arrange a secret meeting with Mr Archer would be easy.

“Hi, Janus.” I said.

He let out an exasperated sigh as he shut his book with a bang and clutched it in his hand as if he would crumble it with one palm. He lifted his death glare from behind his spectacles at me. I gulped hard, but let out a smile.

“Hi,” I said again.

“I really don’t want to, but they are forcing me to tell you,” — he clenched his jaws and continued with a slight snarl — “hey!”

“What are you reading?” I asked.

“What do you want?” He grunted.

I kind of had an idea that I was getting on his nerves. Nevertheless, I told him my plan.

“No,” he said curtly.

“But…”

“No!”

“But…”

“Nooo!” He drawled.

“Pleeease,” I drawled.

“I don’t talk to people,” he said. “I hate people who talk too much and you are reaching the top of my most-hated-people list.”

“Oh, I’ll do all the talking for you, then. Just help me meet Mr Archer, secretly, please. I am begging you. This concerns my life.”

“Which is none of my concerns,” he said. “You make me speak a word more and I am going to murder you.”

“I am going to die, anyway. Might as well die trying,” I said. “You don’t have to do it for free. I can get you whatever you want. You name it, you’ll get it.”

It was then I saw his expression relax. “Really? Get me access to the royal library forever.”

“Done!” I said in less than a second. “I won’t go back on my words, royal promise.”

He looked at me with his predator eyes and then let out a sigh. Which probably was happy? I don’t know, but he looked convinced to help me.

“Follow me,” he said.