Chapter 5: Future Dilemma

My colorful bowl of cereal did nothing to cheer me up the next morning. Leaning on the marble island counter, my right hand held my spoon while my left hand scrolled through my phone, particularly the prom pictures that spammed my social media.

Was I a coward for missing prom because I was afraid to face my bullies? Yes, but it didn’t look like I missed much anyway. My thumb dragged across the screen until it stopped when my eyes caught sight of a particular picture. In front of the under-the-sea backdrop, Joshua posed with Breanna with his arm snaked around her waist. They were both all dressed up sharply and had giant grins plastered on their smug faces as if nothing had ever happened. I should have known that they cared more about their pride, reputation, and influence than honesty and fidelity.

Eager to get them out of my sight and mind, I slid my thumb only for the next picture to be a solo picture of Joshua adjusting his blazer, much to my annoyance.

“Oooh, who’s the handsome hunk?” Mom’s voice echoed in my ears.

Turning my head slightly, I found her head resting on my shoulder as she leaned on my back. Her eyes were fixated on the picture, unaware of the identity of the person in the photo or rather who he was to me.

Yep, my parents did not know what happened in school and that I was bullied almost every day. Luke and I agreed to keep our school drama out of our home, which meant they didn’t know about Luke’s secret cheating girlfriend or the rumor that I was a sl*t h*rny for Joshua Taylor. Personally, it was better that way. My parents couldn’t do anything about my situation anyway and my home remained my safe place separated from the outside world.

“Ew, Mom! He’s no one,” I exclaimed before closing the application and slamming my phone face down onto the counter.

Mom squeezed my shoulders and planted a kiss on my cheeks. “Relax, Olivia. I was just kidding. You looked distracted so I just wanted to pull your leg.”

“I’m fine, Mom.” Casting my eyes down, I played around with the cereal in my bowl.

Mom stood still and stared at me for a few seconds before she let out a long sigh. Tilting my head up, I watched her pour herself a cup of coffee in silence.

“Mom, did you read the brochure I gave you from Derby University?” I asked hesitantly.

She lowered her cup and turned around. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she took a deep calming breath of air. “Olivia, I thought we had talked about this. Why are you bringing this up again?”

“Mom, come on! I need this!” I retorted as I dropped my spoon into my bowl.

Mom shook her head and waved her finger at me. “No! What you need is to stay here, not venture all alone to New York City!”

“Why can’t I?  I’ve never asked for anything until now. I need to get out of here, Mom. I can’t anymore,” I responded.

Stepping forward, she reached out to grab my arm. “What’s wrong with staying here, pumpkin? I’m here, your life is here. What’s so bad about going to school in San Francisco? They even offered you a spot and you’ll be close enough to visit on the weekends.”

“That’s because you forced me to apply, Mom. I never wanted to! I’ve been talking about leaving for months before I even started applying. I don’t know how to explain myself but I just need to get out of here.” Wiping my hands across my face, I stood up from my seat.

Mom let out a scoff and instantly I knew she had misunderstood my words. “Oh, you mean you need to get out of this house and away from us.”

“Mom, no. That is not what I meant. I just wanted to start my life fresh. That is why I applied to Denver. I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t agree and honestly, I didn’t expect to get in at all, let alone get a scholarship!” I argued as my palms balled into fists.

My mother sighed and looked up to the ceiling before turning her focus back to me again. “Olivia, don’t you think I know that feeling? Do you think it’s easy for me to start fresh after the divorce from your father? We were together for 23 years and for all those years being with your father was all I knew! I’m just saying that it’s not as simple as you think. I am your mother, Oliv, and all I want to do is take care of you, protect you.”

“Oh, Mom, I know that. I think you are brave and so strong to start fresh after Dad, but it’s time I do too. It’s not you or this family, it’s the memories I have of this town. That’s all I can say. All I want is to venture out and discover myself, Mom!” I assured her as I walked over to her.

Before she could say anything else, I enveloped her in my arms, hugging her tightly. Her tense body melted in mine before she tightened her grip on me. It was a tough time, but she didn’t know what I was going through and how desperate I was to get out of there. I couldn’t bear another scandal or rumor and feared that it would ruin me for good if it happened.

However, instead of arguing, I chose to enjoy being in the embrace of my mother. It had been a tough year ever since my parents got divorced last year. They separated amicably after realizing that their relationship just couldn’t work anymore. To be honest, after hearing their high school sweetheart story all my life, it was still so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that they fell out of love with each other.

“What did I miss?” Luke’s voice echoed through the kitchen.

Pulling away from the hug, I turned around to see him leaning against the fridge with a football under his arm. My clueless brother just stared at us with confusion as he chewed on an apple casually.

“None of your business, Lukey,” I said as I placed my bowl in the sink and picked up my phone from the counter.

Luke just arched his eyebrow at me as I walked towards him while Mom busied herself with making her breakfast in silence. My poor brother had no idea of the war that had just happened a few minutes earlier. After all, everyone didn’t have a problem with him and his football scholarship.

Stopping next to him, I looked at his neck and whispered in his ear, “Nice hickey, by the way.”

Luke’s eyes enlarged with shock before he quickly used his shirt to cover it up while checking if our mother had heard me. Realizing the coast was clear, he shot me a glare and I rolled my eyes at him before I headed up to my room.

Unfortunately, the rest of my day went by slowly. I spent my time locked up in my room, re-reading my acceptance letter from Denver University for the millionth time and recollecting my mother’s words. Part of me hated to leave her alone selfishly, but the other part of me knew I needed to go for my mental health. I was afraid of what might happen if things go too far and affect me terribly. I was broken beyond fixing, but somehow, the thought of starting anew where no one else knew who I was and what my past was, felt like a solution.

Thankfully, Adrina agreed with my decision. After all, she had always been my number-one supporter and cheerleader no matter what I chose to do. The thought of graduating high school without her pulled at my heart’s strings but sadly, there was nothing I could do about it.

Graduation Day from Westminster High. I had less than twenty-four hours till graduation and time couldn’t go any faster. My robe was hanging on the back of my door together with my lavender-decorated graduation cap.

As much as I dreaded seeing the faces of my schoolmates, especially Joshua and Breanna, I was actually excited to finally graduate. Only I—and probably, Adrina—knew about everything I had gone through. I had come a long, windy way since the day I stepped foot into that school and I couldn’t wait to get to a better place.

Since I had a lot of time to spare, I chose to do the only thing that made the time fly. Picking up a book from my library, I curled myself on my beanbag chair and dived into the story. True enough, hours later, I finally pulled myself out of the book to see that it was already close to midnight. All the drama, adventure, perfect book boyfriends, and romance had sucked me in so severely that I had no knowledge of my surroundings. After getting ready for bed, I tucked myself into bed and within seconds I fell asleep.  

The next morning, I woke up and stood in front of the mirror. Pulling off the sticky note of my mirror with the number zero on it, I crumpled it in my hand and threw it into the dustbin. Straightening myself and taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes before opening them back with determination.

“Time for one last fight.”