Chapter four

I pulled away from him so fast I almost slipped and fell on the wet tiles.

"No," I said, pressing my back against the wall. My heart was thudding so loud I was sure he could hear it. "No, no, no."

Isaac stood there, dripping water, his green eyes watching me carefully. He didn't move toward me. He just watched, the way you watched something fragile that you're afraid to break.

"Charlotte...."

"Don't." I held up my hand. "Don't say my name like that."

He blinked. "Like.... like what?"

"Like…" I stopped myself. "Just don't call my name."

I wrapped my arms around myself. My uniform was soaked through and I was shivering, but I didn't think it was from the cold. My whole body felt strange. 

It began to warm in places it shouldn't be and legs seemed to want to pull me in a direction I didn't want to go.

My feet ached to move me toward him and into his arms.

I pressed my feet harder into the floor, fighting it.

"You said we're mates," I said quietly.

"Yes."

"How long have you known?"

He was quiet for a second. That pause passed a message.

"Isaac."

"Since the wolvesbane bush," he said. "When I carried you out. I felt it then."

I stared at him. "That was days ago."

"I know."

"You've known for days and you said nothing?"

"What was I supposed to say, Charlotte?" His voice was calm but there was tiredness underneath it. "I have a girlfriend. My father approved it. It's not something I can just walk away from."

"So.... so why are you telling me now?"

"Because you felt the bond just now." He shrugged and took one step toward me. "And I wasn't going to let you think you were going crazy."

I laughed but it came out as a broken sound. "That's very considerate of you."

"I'm serious."

"So am I." 

I looked at him directly. I really looked at him. His brown hair was sticking to his forehead. His jaw was clenched. 

"Isaac, Lydia almost slapped me yesterday. She slapped me the night before that. She broke my father's necklace." My voice cracked on the last word and I hated myself for it. "She already hates me and I haven't done anything."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't fix anything." I cried and shook my head. "You need to stay away from me."

An emotion moved across his face. Too fast for me to see well. "Charlotte...."

"I mean it." I stepped away from the wall and moved toward the exit, giving him a wide path so I wouldn't get too close. "Whatever this bond is, whatever you felt, I need you to ignore it. I need you to pretend it doesn't exist."

"That's not how mate bonds work."

"Then figure it out." I snapped and walked away. 

I stopped at the door and turned to look at him one last time. He was still standing there, still watching me with those green eyes that made my chest do something stupid. 

"Please, Isaac. I'm begging you. Just.... leave me alone."

I walked out before he could say anything else.

The corridor was empty. Everyone had gone home or to their dorms. My footsteps echoed as I walked fast, faster, until I was almost running.

I didn't stop until I got to my dorm room.

I shut the door behind me and slid down to the floor, my back against it, my knees pulled to my chest.

My hand flew to my lips.

He had kissed me. Twice now.

The first time I hadn't known. He had kissed me when I was unconscious in the wolvesbane bush and I had felt nothing because I wasn't awake to feel it. 

But this time I had been completely awake and completely aware. And I had felt everything.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

This was bad. This was so incredibly, dangerously bad.

But.... I felt strange.

Was my body reacting to Isaac so heavily?

****

I didn't sleep well.

I lay on my back staring at the ceiling for most of the night, listening to the sound of the girl in the next room snoring heavily through the wall. 

At some point, it started to rain. 

I watched the water streak down my window and tried very hard not to think about him.

It didn't work.

Every time, I closed my eyes I saw his face. I saw that look he had given me right before I walked out. It was like I had taken something from him just by leaving.

Which was ridiculous. I hadn't taken anything. He had Lydia. He had everything.

I was the one with nothing.

By morning, I had made myself a promise. 

I was going to be normal today. I was going to walk into school, sit in my seat, eat my lunch alone in my corner, and feel absolutely nothing.

I was good at feeling nothing. I had been practicing it for years.

Well, the morning started fine. 

I got dressed, pulled my brown hair into a low bun, and walked to the main building with my bag on my shoulder and my eyes on the ground.

I was fine. I was completely fine.

Then I walked into the classroom and felt the burn of our bond.

It hit me before I even saw him. 

It came as a warmth that started in my chest and spread outward. My steps slowed amd my hands instinctively reached to hold my chest.

Isaac was already seated. He sat at the second row from the window. He had his elbow on the desk and his chin resting in his hand, looking out at the morning sky. 

Lydia sat beside him, talking into his ear about something, her hand resting on his arm.

He wasn't listening to her.

As if he felt my eyes on him, he turned.

Our gazes met across the classroom.

I looked away immediately. My heart was already going too fast. I walked straight to my seat at the back and dropped into it, pulling out my textbook and holding it in front of my face like a shield.

"Breathe, Charlotte." I whispered to myself. 

I breathed slowly. But I could still feel him. That was the terrifying part. 

I couldn't see him anymore, the textbook was in the way, but I could feel exactly where he was in the room the way you can feel heat from a flame without looking at it.

Was this what a mate bond felt like?

I had heard about them. Every werewolf had it. 

The teachers talked about them in biology class like they were beautiful, sacred things. They said it was a near-unbreakable connection between two wolves and that it was a pull so strong that ignoring it was like trying to hold your breath forever.

Nobody told me it would feel like this.

I pressed my back into my chair and stared hard at the words on the page in front of me. I read the same sentence four times and still couldn't tell what it said.

"Charlotte."

I almost dropped the book.

I looked up. 

Kate was standing beside my desk, her dark curly hair loose around her shoulders. She was one of the few people in school who didn't actively try to make my life miserable. 

We weren't close but she was kind.

"You okay?" she asked, looking at me with a small frown.

"I'm fine," I said.

She didn't look convinced. 

"You've been staring at that page for ten minutes."

I looked down at the book and then looked back up. "I'm a.... I'm a very slow reader."

She smiled a little and moved back to her seat.

I exhaled slowly.

From across the room, I heard Lydia laugh at something. It was so loud, irritating and performative. 

It was her kind of laugh that was designed to be heard by everyone. 

I didn't look up. I just kept my eyes down and

my back straight and told myself that I was fine.

Of course, I was fine. I was absolutely, completely, totally fine.

Still, the warm pull in my chest said otherwise.

I was madly jealous!