Embarrassment took over. My cheeks flushed with heat, and I struggled to admit the truth. "I've never dated before." It didn't surprise me when his brows raised in shock-even dorks dated. "And other than a game of spin the bottle, I'd never been kissed." I rolled my eyes when he cocked his head, intrigued. "So, as shallow as it sounds, Chet's attention was similar to winning the lottery. He's gorgeous, an athlete, built-" "I got it." He stopped my description of his friend. "He's a catch. Noted." The wink he sent my direction eased my worry slightly. "I didn't know what to do or what he expected. I had no idea that going upstairs with him would mean anything more than some heavy..." I tapped my finger on my chin and searched my mind for a word that wasn't detailed, yet descriptive. "Petting."I needed to stop pussyfooting around and just spit it out. Drawing this out implied more than it was, and even though Chet was an ass, he hadn't forced me into anything. Not really."We
"He's not my brother." I tossed the truth out there and let it hang in the air."What do you mean?" A horn honked behind us when the traffic started to creep at a snail's pace. It didn't occur to me that we hadn't moved the entire time we talked. This would end up being a five-hour trip at this rate. "Just what I said. He's not my brother." I saw the confusion, but Bart wouldn't ask. I shook my head and gave in. I'd hopped down this bunny trail. "We were both foster kids. My parents adopted me when I was ten."His focus remained on the stop-and-go traffic in front of him. "What about Jude? They didn't adopt him?""No, but they want to." I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. Here I hadn't even wanted to admit we weren't related, and now I was diving right into the third problem on my list."Isn't he a little old for that? You said he's seventeen, right?"Maybe I could explain Jude's history away without confessing any of my own. "Yeah, but it's more symbolic than necessary
The silence between us was deafening. I'd kill to crank up the stereo and drown it out with an angry playlist that would change my mood and help me work through the nagging in my mind. But this wasn't my car, and Jude wasn't the one driving. I wasn't sure Bart would appreciate me synching my phone to his stereo so I didn't have to talk to him.When he'd said it was okay, he'd meant it. Now, he didn't say anything further. But I just couldn't leave it alone. Maybe I wanted to tell someone so I could let my feelings go. This could be my opportunity to do just that-all I had to do was open my mouth and speak. "Judgment-free?"Bart came to another stop-approximately seven feet from the last one we'd made-and turned in my direction. With a look I'd only seen from one other person, his eyes spoke to me in quiet contemplation. "Always. You never have to ask." I pulled my hair down and combed through it with my fingers before I wound it back into a knot on top of my head. It was a ne
A week later, Portia still avoided me and kept her text messages short. I tried to act as though nothing had happened, yet it seemed that tiny kiss sent her far away. The closeness we'd always shared now strained under the weight of my actions, and I didn't know how to fix it. Other than Portia, I had a total of two friends. Ethan and Carson. The three of us had grown up together. We'd gone to the same elementary school and middle school, and with only one high school in our small town, we landed there as classmates, as well. They hadn't met Portia until the start of our freshman year. Even though they knew of her, and heard me talk about her, their paths didn't cross since I didn't see them when I was at the Shaws' house. Ethan was insanely intelligent even though common sense wasn't his strong suit. Carson was bright and street smart. Though we looked nothing alike, we were all similar in that we'd been outcasts early on and remained that way. Our friendships were forged by that a
Since I'd never been drunk, and this was my first experience being high, I didn't quite grasp that reaching out to Portia in my current state wasn't the best idea. She'd kept me at arm's length, responding to texts with short answers, but I hadn't been brave enough to call. I had a hard time hearing her voice-it made me miss her-so I'd avoided phone calls since she left. When I got home from Carson's, I snuck into my room and locked the door. Any witness to my behavior might believe I was part of a covert operation...or possibly breaking and entering. I hated to think just how sketchy I appeared from an outsider's perspective. I grabbed my cell from my backpack and searched for a place to hide. Ernie was at work, and Hensley's car wasn't here when I'd shown up, so I wasn't sure who I was hiding from; it just made sense. The closet proved to be my best choice for full coverage. I didn't bother with the light and closed myself in. The glow of the screen illuminated the small space eno
It had taken me all of three weeks to break whatever agreement I'd made with Portia not to smoke pot again. The truth was, I thought all her vibrato was overkill. It came from a place of concern, but if marijuana was legal in a handful of states and decriminalized in several more, it couldn't be the death sentence Portia made it out to be. Cancer patients had used it for years to fight nausea and pain. And I was proof it warded off mental anguish, as well.My grades hadn't suffered, Ernie and Hensley were none the wiser, and it hadn't affected my ability to take care of my responsibilities. In fact, the more I smoked, the happier my foster parents believed me to be. I'd simply made a mental note not to call Portia after school, and since we texted most of the time, it didn't matter, anyhow.Portia: I'm coming home this weekend.Me: Are you actually staying the whole weekend or is it a quick trip?Portia: Depends. Can you keep your hands to yourself?Me: Do I have to?This w
Jude's easy acceptance of my relationship status stung. I didn't know what I had expected, some sort of fight, hesitation, anything to indicate his kiss had meant something. Jude wasn't Chet, but I had a hard time differentiating between the two when it seemed a cheap feel was all either wanted. Unfortunately, I couldn't discuss Jude with anyone, and Chet was just an ass. I could talk until I was blue in the face about the lacrosse player the girls on campus lusted after, and it wouldn't change anything about him. Sitting cross-legged on my bed, I held the phone in my hand and wondered when the shift had taken place with Jude. I'd always believed he cared about me, and I still wanted to. I just couldn't reconcile his ability to change gears and hand me off to another guy with so little fight-not that I'd given him an opening to do anything different. I flung myself back onto my pillows and let out a loud grunt. The door swung open during my anxious release, but I didn't bother to gl
"Hey," I greeted Bart.He popped a quick kiss on my lips that felt warm and good. Although I had to admit, it wasn't electric-but maybe rocking chairs and growing old wasn't about explosive moments, and instead, relied on deep-seated friendship and mutual attraction."Hey, yourself. You want to grab some dinner? I'm going to meet Jet and Todd in the cafeteria." He leaned against the doorframe.My shoulders relaxed, and I fell under the charm that captivated me anytime we were together. When I was physically in his presence, I was content, happy. Unfortunately, when he wasn't within reach, my mind wandered endlessly. For the time being, I decided to focus on the here and now. At eighteen, I didn't have to make any life-altering decisions-he asked about dinner, not marriage. "Actually, I'm starving." I grabbed my keys and then tugged a sweatshirt over my head. "I wanted to talk to you about something, anyhow." I moved past him and locked my room behind me. Bart took my hand a