7

When he gets inside and sits on the edge of the bed, it’s a whirlwind of emotions.

He and Daniel have been together for ten months for ten months and yet not a single time has he ever felt this suffocating desperation for Daniel’s attention the way he feels it for Andre.

And it is killing him to know that Andre doesn’t want him around,

His stomach kicks violently and tears sting at his eyes.

What is his problem?

Moments later he hears movement at the door and panics because Andre is walking in and he looks lifeless.

As if he didn’t just have hundreds of people screaming for him, as if he isn’t fucking amazing.

Why isn’t he celebrating?

This is the first time they’ve both been awake and present in their dorm in a week.

He knows not to say a damn thing.

Not now.

It can wait.

It can.

But Dylan is fidgeting and anxious and he just snaps, voice frantic, “what exactly did i do?”

Andre looks over his shoulder from where he was digging in his closet for different clothes.

“what are you talking about?”

“you haven’t spoken to me in a week, Andre.” He feels desperate and frantic and his heart won’t stop screaming at him to stop

“you won’t even look at me! Even right this second! So tell me, what did i do?”

“Nothing.” Andre squeezes the jeans and button down shirt in his hands so tight his knuckles are white when he turns around.

“Seriously, you didn't do anything. but—“

“But what?” Dylan steps in front of him blocking the bathroom.

His face red and chest heaving

“but..” Andre’s tone is harsh and sharper than Dylan’s ever heard used against him.

Andre has only ever been soft and sweet and cautious when he speaks.

His voice right now feels like venom, "I don’t have time to talk about this right now. My family is waiting for me at the bar. your boyfriend is there too. so why don’t you go talk to him instead of wasting time here cornering me.”

Dylan’s jaw drops.l cornering him?

Him genuinely asking a question is ‘cornering’ him?

“fuck you, Andre. god forbid I'm worried when basically my best friend for the last two and a half months doesn’t spare me a single word and ditches me to walk to class alone.”

“That’s my fucking problem, lan. Shit”

“What is?!” Dylan’s head falls back.

He will not cry.

This is so stupid.

He won't.

Andre ’s voice loses all of the heat, he just sounds hopeless, “Will you please just drop it and leave me alone? I cannot afford to go into this with you right now.”

“So I just have to sit here, unable to focus on studying for my exams because I’m too busy racking my brain to figure out what I did to make you hate me in the span of a week.”

what-the-fuck-ever.

Dylan is not staying in this suffocating, emotionally charged room any longer.

Trying to charge out, he hears the clothes drop from Andre’s hands before he feels the hand that wraps around his wrist, spinning him around and backing Dylan up until he’s flush with the door and Andre’s standing chest to chest with him,

“hate you? Do you think I hate you? ”

“what else am I supposed to think when you dropped me like hot shit and do everything in your power to avoid me!” Andre scoffs.

His hand loosens from Dylan’s wrist but when it falls it lands on his waist instead.

It's too much.

Andre should not be standing this close.

Andre ’s hand should not be on his waist and he should not be looking at him from this close with those sharp, dark, gorgeous, brown eyes.

And Dylan shouldn’t want to cry in relief at Andre finally paying attention to him.

Even if he’s angry. something is better than nothing. but nothing is better than the way Andre ’s fingers tighten on his hip when he curses.

“Im fucking desperate for you, Ian. All i think about twenty four seven is you. Being around you is infuriating, because I can’t stop myself from wanting you. but you have a boyfriend. and that boyfriend of yours is someone really important to me. so i can’t risk fucking that all up because i cant get my feelings in check. So yeah, I've been avoiding you and I'm sorry if it hurt you, but its been fucking killing me. So we're even.”

“Andre , I…”

“Don’t .” he snarls.

Dylan doesn’t know when his hands ended up against Andre’s chest.

He’s sure he put them there with intentions of pushing him away. But why does it feel like he couldn’t do that if he tried.

Instead they curl into the fabric and hold him in place.

Tugging a bit closer, “please don’t avoid me, Dre. i can’t—“

Andre’s forehead presses into his own and Dylan feels like he’s seconds away from sobbing,the way Andre’s eyes struggle to lift up from where they were staring at his mouth makes Dylan so weak in the knees he almost falls over.

Dylan swears to the heavens that if he could be forgiven for just this one sin…he will never do anything like this again. he just…wants to know…he has to… he needs to—

“I’ve got to go, Dylan. but now you know. I’m not avoiding you because I hate you. I’m avoiding you because I hate myself .” then Andre’s in their bathroom with the door shut and locked.