Chapter 4

“I can explain naman, hubby, e.” She pouted, I grimaced. Hindi bagay.

We’re inside kuya Daze’s study room. And yeah, I am being interrogated because I was the one who was caught in the act. Nakakainis. Mukhang paniwalang-paniwala pa naman si kuya sa fiancée niyang bulok.

“Then explain, Taliah.” Malamig at malalim ang boses nito.

I saw how she smirk at me and pouted towards my brother. “I was just talking to the kasambahay and she suddenly went inside the living room and dragged me with my hair. It hurts.”

Napaingos ako sa paraan ng kanyang pananalita. So this is the feeling of hearing lies when you knew the truth. This girl is really getting into my nerves.

“Is that true, Diana?” Kalmado ang boses ni kuya ngunit ang mga mata niya ay tinitignan ako na may pag-aakusa.

I smirked. “Even if I say no, you’ll still side on your fiancée. So, yeah. Believe what you wanted to believe. I’m off.”

Pabalda akong tumayo sa aking kinauupuan at naglakad palabas ng study room. I heard him called me but I didn’t listen. Malakas kong isinara ang pinto at nakasimangot na naglakad pababa ng hagdan. Sinalubong naman ako ng nag-aalalang tingin ni Bina nang makababa ako.

“A-ayos lang po ba kayo, Senyorita Vielle?” Her voice we’re so soft and she’s worried.

Ngumiti ako dito. “I’m fine, Bina. Next time, don’t ever follow that girl’s order. She’s a pain in the ass.”

“Pasensiya ka na po, Senyorita. Pero kailangan ko po talagang sundin ang utos ni Senyorita Taliah dahil magiging asawa na po siya ni Senyorito Daze,” nakayukong paumanhin niya.

I scoffed. “Get me water, please.”

“Masusunod po.”

Lumapit ako sa mahabang couch at binagsak ang aking sarili doon. I bit my lip in annoyance. Bumangon ako at umupo, inis kong sinipa ang center table ngunit agad ding napangiwi dahil napalakasan ko ang pagkasipa.

“Andito na po ang juice niyo, Senyorita.” Inilapag ni Bina ang hiningi kong juice sa mesang nasa harap ko at magalang na nagpaalam.

Napapantastokuhan ko itong tinignan. “I said water, not juice.”

Nilingon ako nito na parang gulat. Lutang ba 'to? “Po? Naku, sorry po! Kukuha na lang—”

“No need,” I cut her. Tumango naman ito at tumalikod na.

My head is still in chaos. I’m mad, a’right. I hate the fact that my brother won’t believe his own sister. That bitch really do brainwashed his head and that makes me mad. Gustong-gusto kong gilitan ng leeg ang babaeng ‘yun.

Inubos ko ang juice at nagtungo sa kusina. Kita ko namang busy si manang Bebang sa pagluluto kaya hindi na niya ako napansing naglagay ng baso sa sink. At bago ako lumabas ng kusina, dumaan muna ako sa fridge at kumuha ng dalawang in-can na beer. Madali lang namang makakuha dahil nakaseparate ito, making me remember last night. Ano kayang nangyari?

I shrugged and went out of the kitchen. Pumanhik ako sa hagdanan at pumasok sa aking silid. Nilagay ko ang dalawang lata sa night-stand at naghubad ng damit. I throw my blouse on the floor and climb on the bed. Inabot ko ang laptop na katabi ng dalawang beer at binuksan ito.

I started doing my thesis. Malakas naman ang cignal ng wifi dito sa resthouse ni kuya kaya okay lang. Sa halip na inisipin ang pagkainis ko sa babaeng ‘yun, igagawa ko nalang ‘yun ng mga homeworks ko. Wala rin namang patutunguhan ang inis ko kung sa isip ko lang siya gigilitan ng leeg.

Habang nagtitipa sa laptop, sumisimsim ako sa canned beer na kinuha ko sa fridge kanina. Mainit siya sa tiyan ngunit matamis sa dila. Ramdam ko rin ang mga malalapot na pawis ko na hindi ko man lang namalayang gabi na. I’m still busy with my thesis when somebody knocks on the door.

“Just leave me some food, Bina. Mamaya na ako kakain,” I replied on the knock.

Napatingin ako sa air-condition nang magsimula na akong makaramdam ng init. Binalewala ko nalang ang nararamdaman ko at nagpatuloy sa ginagawa. Nakasuot na ako ang nude color bralette na criss-cross and style sa likuran, ngunit hindi noon nababawasan ang init na nararamdaman ko.

“Susunod— Kuya...” I watched him entered the room and locked the door behind him.

“Let’s talk, Diana,” he murmured.

Wala sa sarili akong napalunok at tumango. I tied my hair into a messy bun and closed my laptop. Bumaba ako sa kama at hindi na nag-abala pang magdamit dahil sa sobrang init. It’s just normal naman siguro kung makita niya akong naka-bralette lang, it’s not a big deal since he’s my brother.

“Get dressed,” he ordered making me roll my eyes.

Malakas ang loob ko dahil sa nakainom ako. “Anong pag-uusapan natin?”

Umupo siya sa pang-isahang sofa habang ako ay dumiretso sa kabila. We’re facing each other and I saw how his breathing became uneven.

“You shouldn’t have done that to my fiancée, Diana.” Sinamaan ako nito ng tingin. “You don’t have the right to—”

“Ahh, it’s about her.” I nodded. Ngumiti ako dito at nagkibit-balikat. “It’s not my fault if she pushed my bitch’s button.”

“You’re always a bitch and brat, Diana.” Mas lalong lumamig ang boses nito.

And I would probably lying if I say I wasn’t hurt by what he just said. Damn, those words just penetrated to my bone. My brother is a cold man, indeed.

“Am I?” I chuckled. “If I am, then what more than your fiancée? You see, kuya, hindi mo pa ako masyadong kilala. Bulag ka sa isiping spoiled brat ako kaya ayaw mong maniwala na wala akong kasalanan. Kung ang pinunta mo lang dito ay ang pagalitan ako, just please, leave this room.”

“Diana—”

“I’m doing my homework,” I cut him. “That would be an enough reason for you to leave.

Tumayo na ako at naglakad patungong kama nang makaramdam ako ng biglang init ng katawan. I felt someone grabbed my elbow making me look at him.

“We’re not done talking,” madiin nitong sambit.

Napahawak ako sa aking ulo at tinulak siya ng malakas. “Get out.”

Fuck, this feeling feels so familiar. Parang naramdaman ko na ito dati..

Lumunok muna ako bago sumampa sa kama. Dumapa ako at nagtalukbong ng kumot. Palihim kong hinawakan ang aking dibdib, my heart is beating rapidly and my breathing were uneven.

Nakarinig ako ng pagbukas at pagsara ng pinto na kahit papaano’y nakakalma sa nararamdaman ko. Tinanggal ko ang kumot at bumaba ng kama. I went near the air-condition and increased the cold temperature. Ngunit laking pagtataka ko nang patuloy pa rin ang pagtagaktak ng pawis ko.

Naglakad ako pabalik sa kama at pinagpatuloy ang aking ginagawa. Hindi ko nalang pinansin ang init na nararamdaman ko at nagsimulang magtipa sa aking thesis. Hindi ako nagpaapekto...

Not until my brother entered the room with a tray full of food on his hand.

Sinarado niya ang pinto gamit ang kanyang mga paa. Naglakad siya palapit sa kama at nilapag ang tray na may lamang pagkain. I also saw a chocolate.

“Eat up now,” he said.

Hindi ko nalang siya pinansin at nagpatuloy sa pagtitipa sa’king laptop. “Ilagay mo nalang po diyan. Kakain ako mamaya.”

“Eat.” He went near the air-condition and lowered the cold temperature.

Napairap ako dito. I hate him and also his fiancée. I hate them both. Their combination would brought me nothing but irritation and anger.

I just shrugged and continue typing. Nagulat nalang ako nang may basta-basta nalang na kumuha sa laptop kong nasa aking kandungan at pabaldang nilapag ito sa night-stand. Damn, the beers!

Napatingin siya sa nahulog na lata ng alak. “Do you have this habit of stealing my beers?”

Napalunok ako. I hate him. But my body is anticipating for him to touch me. It’s weird. The weird heat I’m feeling a while ago came back.

“Leave the room, kuya,” mahinang usal ko at tumayo.

Agad rin akong napahawak sa malapit na pader nang nakaramdam ako ng pagkahilo. Ramdam ko ang paghawak ni kuya sa bewang ko na ikinaigtad ko.

“You’re drugged again, fuck,” I heard him whispered.

Bumalik ang inis ko sa kanya at tinulak siya. How dare him to hold me after showing me how disgusted he was with my body seven years ago? This asshole is really getting into my nerves. Dagdag pa sa inis ko ‘yung fiancée niyang story-maker. Papasa ‘yun bilang writer, napakagaling mag-imbento ng kwentong walang katotohanan.

I turned my back on him and my shallow hair tie fell. Inis kong tinipon ang buhok ko sa kaliwang balikat.

I gasp when he grabbed my arms and claimed my lips for an ardent kiss. And the heat I was trying to ignore a moment ago, ignited like a wild forest fire. Napahawak ako sa kanyang dibdib nang mas palalimin niya pa ang aming halik.

Damn it! I should pull away! He’s my brother and I hate him! But my body is betraying me.

His arms snaked on my waist and pulled me closer towards him. I can’t help myself but to moan when his warm hand cupped my butt-cheeks. I’m starting to lose my sanity. His kisses were intoxicating. I-I can’t think properly.

“Don’t turn your back at me when I’m talking, Diana,” he murmured and his lips left mine as it start kissing my neck. “Did you get me?”

Reality strikes me. Mabilis ko siyang tinulak at nagmamadali akong pumasok ng banyo. I closed the door behind me and locked it. Napatingin naman ako sa salamin at wala sa sariling napahawak sa aking labi.

I blink several times. Wala sa sarili kong sinabunutan ang aking sarili habang nakatitig sa salamin. Frustrated akong pumasok ng shower area at binuksan ang shower. Sumandal ako sa pader at napahawak sa aking labi.

D-did I just kissed him?

--

Pabalik-balik ang lakad ko habang kagat-kagat ang chocolate na dala ni kuya kanina. I just finished doing my shower and the heat a while ago finally vanished.

Hindi ako mapakali. Thinking about what happened, it’s frustrating. Isa pa, napaka-awkward din. Lalong-lalo na’t wala sila mama at papa. Now tell me how to face him?

Tumigil ako sa paglalakad at tumingin sa vanity mirror. I’m now wearing a satin pajama and a satin spaghetti strap. I took a deep breath before walking towards the door. Napahawak ako sa door knob at mariing napapikit. If I can’t stand the awkwardness, better ask him to send me back to manila.

Tuluyan na akong lumabas ng kwarto at naglakad patungong pinto ng study room ni kuya. Humugot muna ako ng malalim na hininga bago kinatok ang pinto, ngunit nakailang katok na ako ay wala pa ring sumasagot. That’s when I turned the door knob open and inserted my head insidd to see if he’s around. But there’s none.

Nakasimangot akong isinarado ang pinto at tumingin sa deriksyon ng kanyang kwarto. Naglakad ako patungo dito at walang sabi-sabing kinatok ang pinto. It’s now or never. Nakakatlong katok pa ako nang may magsalita sa likod ko.

“What do you want?” sambit ng isang kalmado, ngunit nakakakilabot na tinig.

Dahan-dahan ko itong nilingon at napalunok nang makita kung paano niya ako tingnan ng mariin. Beads of sweat formed around my forehead I remember the kiss we shared just a while ago. I gulped. “C-can we talk?”

All I thought is that he’ll just ignore me or head towards his study room to grant my wish. But none of it happened, instead he proceed to the door and opened it. Pumasok siya sa loob at buong akala ko ay isasarado niya ang pinto nang lingunin ako nito na para bang inaantay akong pumasok.

“I thought you want to talk?” he asked grimly.

Napakurap-kurap ako at mabilis na humakbang papasok sa kanyang silid. As soon as I entered his room, I heard him closed the door while I wander my eyes around. His manly scent lingered on my nose and somehow, it calms me. Sinundan ko siya ng tingin hanggang sa makaupo siya sa mahabang sofa.

“What do you wanna talk about?” Kalmado na ang boses nito kumpara kanina nang pumasok siya sa kwarto ko.

Muli na naman akong napalunok at naglakad patungo sa pang-isahang sofa. The room is dim, only the lamp near the long sofa was the source of light, and it’s enough for me to see him watch me as I settle myself on the single-sofa.

“I-I just wanna say sorry,” napayuko ako. “Sorry for kissing you a while ago. L-let j-just... let’s just forget that it happened.”

There, I finally said it. “Won’t you say sorry for grabbing Taliah’s—”

“I told you it wasn’t me who started it that’s why I won’t say sorry,” I cut him. Napayuko kaagad ako nang mapagtanto kong bastos ang nagawa ko. “Sorry.”

Cutting someone when they are speaking is rude.

Nanatili lang akong nakayuko at hinihintay ang ano mang sasabihin niya. Napapikit ako nang tumayo siya. Is he going to slap me?

I gasp when I felt him held my elbow and carefully helped me to stand. Napaangat ang tingin ko dito at halos maduling nang ilang pulgada nalang ang layo ng aming mga mukha.

Wala sa sarili akong napahawak sa dibdib niya nang hapitin niya ako sa bewang. I closed my eyes when he lowered his head to the hallow of my neck and sniff. “Lilac...”

I held my breath. “W-who’s Lilac?”

Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa damit niya sa bandang dibdib nang tamnan niya ng munting halik ang leeg ko. “You smelled like Lilac.”

Mariin kong pinikit ang aking mga mata. I feel like my knees are starting to lose its strength. Siguro ay nararamdaman din ni kuya na unti-unti na akong nawawalan ng lakas kaya mas humigpit ang kapit niya sa’king bewang.

“I-It’s my showel gel,” I uttered. I tried to let go from his hold. “T-this is wrong.. Y-you shouldn’t be kissing your sister’s neck—”

I was cut when he suddenly claimed my lips. He pulled me more closer while his kisses were smooth and calm.

No way, this is not happening!

I was about to struggle when he finally let go of my lips, but not my waist. “There’s nothing wrong, Diana.”

Napanganga ako sa sinabi niya. “A-anong ibig mong sabihin?”

He shrugged. “There’s nothing wrong with our body’s decision.”

What?! Is he insane?!