Harlan

Chapter 15

My phone rang at 3:30pm, the screen lit up .. Kate . I stared at at and let it stopped then started again.

she was stubborn like that,

I answered, “Hey,” my voice was hollow, like someone else was using it,

" Bitch, where the hell have you been ,?" Kate said no hello, no soft greetings , that was one of her bad traits . “I haven’t heard from you since the drunk night, you said you’d text, you didn’t, I thought you were dead in a ditch,”

The drunk night, u closed my eyes , Rubben's hand his....mouth, fuck I was pathetic.

“I’m alive,” I said, it sounded like a lie,

“You don’t sound it,” she said, “Get over here, now, my place, I have wine and no judgment, okay, maybe a little judgment,”

I didn’t want to go, I wanted to stay in Daniel’s white kitchen and drown in silence, but silence was Rubben’s thing now, and I was done drowning for him,

“Okay,” I said, “I’m coming,”

4:30 PM – Kate’s Apartment

Her place smelled like vanilla messy, real, she shoved a glass of red into my hand the second I walked in, didn’t ask, just did,

“Sit,” she pointed to the couch, “Drink, then talk,”

I sat, I didn’t drink, t“I was stupid,” I said, the words fell out rough and ugly words fell out, r “I fell for something that was never going to be mine,”

Kate didn’t blink, “Rubben,”

Hearing his name out loud made my chest crack, “Yeah,” I said, “Him,”

She sat next to me, tucked her legs up, “What happened after you left the club,”

I told her, not everything, just enough, the fight , th

I told her, not everything just enough, the fight,the door, the way I waited on the step for a man who never came, the way my phone stayed dead, “He let me go,” I said, “Just like that, like I was nothing,”

Kate was quiet for a second, then, “And you’re still sitting here, acting like he’s the air,”

I flinched, “I don’t want to be foolish anymore," I said, “I don’t want to want what’ll kill me,”

“Good,” she said, “Because foolish gets you hurt, and I’m tired of watching you bleed for men who don’t deserve you,”

I laughed, it sounded broken, “Daniel asked me to be his girlfriend,”

Kate choked on her wine, “What,” she coughed, set the glass down, “Daniel.....like doctor Daniel? brings-you-coffee Daniel,”

“Yeah,” I said, “This morning, he said be mine, Lia.

She stared, then, “And?”

“And nothing,” I said, “I didn’t answer, I can’t, because I’m still, god, I’m still waiting for a ghost,”

Kate grabbed my shoulders, forced me to look at her, “Girl, come on,” her voice was hard, but her eyes weren’t, “You should maybe go out with Daniel, hang with him, see,”

I shook my head, “It feels wrong,”

“Of course it feels wrong,” she said, “Because you’re addicted to the wrong, but maybe if you hang with him, maybe this feeling stops, maybe you don’t have to get the forbidden things into your head anymore,”

Forbidden.... Rubben, his eyes, his hands, his don’t touch me....and then ...touch me anyway, I swallowed, “You think I should say yes,”

“I think you should live,” she said, “And right now, you’re not living, you’re haunting, go to dinner, let him hold your hand, see if your heart remembers how to beat for something safe,”

Safe, the word tasted like Daniel’s strawberries, cut into hearts, I hated it, but I nodded, “Okay,” I said, “Maybe,”

At 7:35pm my phone buzzed, Daniel... I stared at Kate , she nudged me ," Answer it,"

I did, “Hey,”

“Lia,” his voice was warm, “I, uh, I know today was a lot, but, can I take you to dinner, nothing serious, just, food, as friends, if that’s what you need,”

Friends.....“Okay,” I said, "Dinner,”

Kate mouthed yes bitch and did a fist pump, I hung up, “I’m stupid,” I told her,

“No,” she said, “You’re surviving, there’s a difference,”

.........

Daniel chose a quiet place, candles, soft music, no pressure, he talked, about work, about a patient who called him doctor hot, he made me laugh he actually surprised me.

After we walked to the hospital that was three blocks away, I had night shift at 11,

“You don’t have to walk me,” I said,

“I want to,” he said, hands in his pockets, “Plus, it’s dark, and you’re, you know, you,”

We stopped under a streetlight, the hospital sign glowed behind us, my shift, my real life, the one without stepbrothers and heart-cut strawberries, Daniel looked at me, really looked, “I meant what I said, Lia,” his voice were sweet , sensational “But I can wait, I’ll wait as long as you need,”

He stepped closer, one hand came up like he was asking permission, his fingers brushed my jaw nothing like Him. my breath hitched, not from want, from fear, because for a second, I thought, maybe I could,maybe safe was enough,

He leaned in, his eyes dropped to my mouth, the air between us went still, my eyes fluttered shut, god, what am I doing,

“Lia Carter?”

The voice cut through everything, the moment,

My eyes snapped open, Daniel pulled back, a man stood two steps away, tall, black coat, silver hair at the temples, a smile that wasn't genuine.

He held out a hand, “Harlan, I’m Daniel's father, family perhaps,”

Daniel cleared his throat, “ Dad . ,” he said quite surprised, “I didn’t expect to see you here,”

Mr. Harlan, I shook his hand, his grip was cold, “Nice to meet you,” I said, my voice unsure,

“Likewise,” Harlan said, his eyes stayed on me too long, “Daniel’s told me a lot about you,”

Daniel shifted beside me, “We were just heading to the hospital,” he said, “Lia’s got a shift,”

“Of course,” Harlan said, “Don’t let me keep you, but sweetheart,” he looked at me, “Be careful whose hand you hold, small world out there, very small world,”

He nodded once, then walked away, disappearing into the dark,

There was something that felt wrong that instant, Daniel didn’t speak for a second “Sorry about that he's intense,”

“Yeah,” I said, “Intense,”

We didn’t talk the rest of the walk, and he didn’t try to kiss me again,

But something was Off

"Herlen"