Mag-log in
Lila
If there was one thing I’d learned over the last six weeks, it was that silence could be louder than screaming. It pressed against my ears when I woke up and followed me through the apartment. It curled beside me in bed at night, heavy and patient, waiting for me to break.
My phone lay faceup on the cluttered desk beside my bed, its dark screen reflecting the dull glow of my desk lamp. I’d stopped putting it on silent. I wanted to hear it if it rang. I needed to but It never did.
Just like every other night, I rolled onto my side, dragging the blanket tighter around me, though the room wasn’t cold. My chest ached with that familiar, hollow pressure an ache that had taken residence inside me the day he vanished, settling in like something permanent.
Nikolai, my boyfriend of some years now, he used to text me good morning even when we’d fallen asleep together the night before. The man who once joked that he’d haunt me if I ever forgot his voice. The man who had kissed my forehead and told me he loved me the night before he disappeared.
I could still feel it the warmth of his lips, the softness of the moment. At first, I’d told myself his phone was dead. Then that he’d lost it. Then maybe he needed space. By the end of the second week, hope had begun to rot into something sour, something that tasted like fear and by the fourth week, I stopped sleeping.
My apartment looked like a place someone had fled in a hurry. Half-finished canvases leaned against the walls, abandoned sketches scattered across the floor. Paint-stained hoodies lay draped over chairs like shed skins. Coffee cups crowded every surface, their contents long gone cold even air smelled of turpentine and stale coffee the scent of a life paused mid-motion.
I hadn’t stepped foot into my university studio since he stopped answering my calls. Every time I tried, my hands shook. The thought of standing in front of a blank canvas, expected to create, felt like mockery. Art had always been my escape and my voice but now even that felt useless.
I pushed myself out of bed and crossed the room, my bare feet sticking slightly to the paint-splattered floor. The largest canvas leaned against the wall, looming like an accusation. He's face stared back at me or what I’d managed to paint of it.
His eyes were only half-finished, one more detailed than the other, his expression caught somewhere between warmth and distance. It was the look he got when he was thinking about something he wasn’t ready to say and I hated it, my throat tightened, and with a sharp breath, I turned away.
A knock echoed through the apartment loud, insistent, breaking the fragile quiet I’d been drowning in. “Lila,” my friend in college called through the door. “I know you’re in there.”
I groaned and dropped onto the edge of the bed. “Go away,” I muttered, though I knew she wouldn’t but the door unlocked anyway.
She stepped inside, her nose wrinkling as her eyes swept over the mess. “Jesus,” she said. “You look like a Victorian widow.”
“Feels about right,” I replied flatly, she crossed the room in three long strides and grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to look at her. Her eyes softened when they met mine. “Okay,” she said. “That’s it. You’re coming out with me tonight.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“I’m not in the mood for clubbing”
“You haven’t been in the mood for weeks,” she snapped, then immediately sighed. Her grip loosened. “You’re disappearing in here, Lila.”
The word hit too close to the truth. “I don’t know how to be okay,” I admitted quietly and my voice cracked despite my efforts. “One day he was here. The next” I swallowed. “Nothing.”
She pulled me into a hug, tight and grounding. “I know and it’s unfair but sitting in this apartment, waiting for answers that may never come? It’s destroying you.”
She leaned back, eyes bright with stubborn determination. “So we’re going to the club.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “I don’t want to dance.”
“You don’t have to dance,” she said. “You don’t even have to smile. You just have to exist somewhere that isn’t this cave.”
I hesitated, my gaze flicking back to the canvas, to Nikolai unfinished eyes then I nodded.
The club assaulted my senses the moment we stepped inside. As always bass thundered through the floor, vibrating up my legs and into my chest. Neon lights sliced through the darkness, painting everything in violent shades of violet and blue. Bodies packed together in sweaty proximity, laughter colliding with music, the air thick with heat and perfume and alcohol.
I felt wildly out of place but Maya handed me a drink I hadn’t asked for. “Just hold it,” she shouted over the music. “You don’t even have to drink.”
I wrapped my fingers around the cool glass, grateful for something solid, and scanned the crowd.
Just as I was about settling down, I felt a prickle at the back of my neck like eyes sliding over my skin. I shifted immediately, glancing over my shoulder but I saw nothing.
Just strangers dancing and drinking but still, unease curled low in my stomach. “You okay?” Maya asked, leaning close, “Yeah,” I lied but the feeling didn’t fade.
It followed m through the press of bodies, across the edge of the dance floor. Every time I laughed too loudly or tried to lose myself in the music, it came back stronger, sharper, like a warning I didn’t understand.
I ducked into the bathroom and braced my hands against the sink, staring at my reflection. My eyes looked too big, too hollow. Get it together, I told myself and when I stepped back out, Maya was deep in conversation with someone. I waved, mouthing I’m stepping outside, and slipped through the side exit. The alley was mercifully quiet, the music reduced to a dull thrum behind brick walls cool night air wrapped around me like relief I exhaled and froze because footsteps echoed behind me slow and deliberate.
My pulse spiked and I turned, heart hammering. A man stood at the mouth of the alley, his face half-hidden in shadow, his gaze locked onto me with unsettling focus. There was something wrong about the stillness of him predatory and patient. “Sorry,” I said quickly, stepping back. “I was just”
But he moved fast and panic exploded through me. I spun to run, pain bloomed at my neck.
A sharp sting, my breath hitched as a hand clamped over my mouth, cutting off my scream. “No,” I gasped, legs buckling.
Warmth flooded my veins, heavy and unnatural, dragging me down. The alley tilted, lights smearing into darkness my last thought was Nikolai name burning, unanswered as the world dissolved, I fell into nothing and then silence.
Nico POVShe flicked on the lights then let her heavy coat fall into down her arms before she hung it up on the coatrack.Her red dress was backless, showing the small muscles that flanked her spine. The steep curve in her back was prominent, so sexy I accidentally bit the inside of my cheek as I stared at it.I unbuttoned the jacket of my suit as I came up behind her, my mouth hungry for that beautiful skin.I gripped both of her arms as my lips moved to the back of her neck. The second my mouth was on her body, I was lost. My hands squeezed her limbs, and I kissed her hard, devouring her in the entryway. I pulled her against my chest as my kisses migrated more toward her face. I tugged her against me and forced her head back, exposing more of her neck to my reach. My warm breaths fell on her skin as I kissed her, letting my cock grind against her ass through my slacks.I’d been hard on and off all night, and now my dick was about to rip through my pants. She panted right away, archi
Lila POV“One.” I held up my forefinger. “You definitely aren't letting me on what is going on with you. So I better head home and rest to prepare for tomorrow work, Nico.”I held up a second finger. “Two. You said I could leave, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”He slowly slid his hands into his pockets, a quiet sigh sounding under his breath. His jaw tightened and the muscles in his cheek shifting slightly. Disappointment burned in his eyes as he fought the helpless feeling.““I hate that you brought me here only to shut me out,” I snapped, my voice trembling with anger and hurt.“You expect me to stay loyal to you while you keep acting like I don’t exist.”He stayed silent and I laughed bitterly, wiping at my tears before they could fall freely. “What am I supposed to think? You barely touch me anymore." My chest tightened painfully.“Sometimes I wonder if you’re hiding another woman somewhere, sleeping with her while I sit here losing my mind.”His expression didn’t change, and
Lila POVI have never been more conflicted than I was now.“The Falcone are a well-respected family and your father have quite a reputation.”“I bet my father is turning in his grave right now and I haven't even allowed myself think about my mother.”He propped both of his arms on the table, his hands resting right in the center. His watch reflected the light, and he leaned forward slightly, getting closer to me. “Regardless of what you think beauty, I'm the only one for you and don't think you can walk away from me, just because I brought you there.”“ I'm definitely not considering that, where would I even go?”His eyes narrowed even farther, slightly terrifying. “You always have a choice but that choice must include me.”This man was an enigma and he seemed to be a criminal with morals. “What if I don't want you included in my choice?.” I asked.He grinned. “Beauty, I would have let you walk away if you’d put up a better fight but we both know you didn’t want to put up a fight. Jus
Lila POVThe back door to the car opened, and he emerged, over six feet of pure handsomeness. In a three-piece black suit with shiny shoes and a flashy watch, he looked like the boss he is and maybe I have truly forgotten who he really is.With hair perfectly styled and that damned lopsided grin, he looked right at me like this was some kind of game. I faced forward and ignored him.He entered the restaurant, and his footsteps sounded behind me. Heavy.with a slow pace, he took his time as he approached my table.Before he even arrived, I could smell his scent, his pure masculinity that vibrated in the air around us.He pulled out the chair and sat down, replacing Adam who brought me to this restaurant but cancelled at the last minute.Nico broad shoulders covered the chair behind him, and he made himself comfortable with his perfect posture. His hands rested in his lap, and he looked at me with an intense expression that mirrored the coldness of the ocean.Fifteen men took their place
Lila POVHe leaned against the counter slightly, his head tilted to the side as he stared at me.I still remember been held captive in that room in the Moretti family house, a lot has happened but it still feels like yesterday.I'm worried because I don't know exactly what is going out in him life and I'm more concerned about what happened if this is the last time he shows up. “So I heard there's, this guy messing around.” If it was a bluff, it was a damn good one.That would be my first impulse, but since nico was far more intimidating than I realized, I found myself wanting to protect Adam rather than myself.“Are you spying at me, Nico?” My heart warned me with every beat. Nico could be aggressive when his jealous but Adam is just an ordinary guy playing around, I never even took him seriously, it just fun watching him trying to win me over. “These beautiful flowers.”“Nico, I don't know what you are thinking but please don't kill an innocent guy.” I held my ground the way I could.
Lila POVAfter two week passed, the memory of our conversation in the plane still stayed with me. I didn't return to his house rather he got me an apartment in Rome and we haven't seen since then.One of my neighbors seems to even take a liking for me but he didn’t have the sexy confidence I liked in Nico, and he didn’t possess a silent power I found intimidating, but that shouldn’t matter because I wasn’t here looking for love. I don't know what exactly is going on and why he isn't telling me anything.I also started working in a flower shop and people usually picked up their arrangements closer to the weekend.The only time I worked during the week was for funerals because weddings and bridal showers always took place on Saturdays and Sundays.The bell rang overhead when a customer came into the shop. My back was to the door as I stood at the table, tying a ribbon around a vase. My shears were on the table along with chopped rose stems. My gloves were thick to protect my fingers fro
He eyed me curiously, studying me like he was trying to assess my every move. I didn't answer. I was too afraid to open my mouth since the scent of food had already completely filled the room, aggravating the hunger pains already consuming my insides.Nico placed the napkin on his lap before he loo
Nico POVI regretted nothing. Life was just too fucking short to regret the decisions I’d made in the past. And now, while I had my cock buried deep inside the woman that had ultimately changed my life forever, I knew that for as long as I had her, I would never regret a damn thing.I would never r
Nico POVIt’s been four days since all hell broke loose in what Lila called the dining hall of horrors. Four days since she lost her father and four days since I killed my mother. Four days since the war officially started.Time hadn’t dulled anything. If anything, it sharpened it every
NICO POVStaring at my reflection in the mirror, I couldn't help but think of my brother. It was kind of impossible not to since it was his damn face staring back at me. I couldn't stop wondering what his motive was for dating lila and not telling me about it, not telling anyone for that matter. Wa







