We sat in the car in silence. Rita from time-to-time would look at me and smile. I would do the same with her. The only noise was her GPS directing the way. Only twenty minutes until we arrived at my house and it felt like a lifetime just clutching ahold of my backpack and wondering if going home was the best solution. I picked up my cell which was turned off and debated whether to put it on. I threw it in my bag and then looked out of the window. I just wanted to think about something else rather than my situation. Anything was better than that. “Rita,” I whispered, but she didn’t hear me so I said it louder. “Rita, do you think that you’ll get over it eventually?”She didn’t need me to elaborate. She knew exactly what I meant by that statement. “I’m healing slowly. Being at home. Working in the pharmacy, even if it’s not the most thrilling job in the world has helped.”I nodded. “And your friends, do you think that you’ll get them back?”She shook her head. “I found out that they w
I grabbed some tissue and started clearing up the remains of my piss. I flushed the toilet and did everything robotic like about my trip to the bathroom, but, this wasn’t a quick urinating session. I’d done it with a purpose and now that it had gone, I found myself feeling emotional one minute and crying like a baby. Like the one inside of me. And the next, I found myself taking deep breaths, trying to clean up with tissue any piss that had splattered onto the floor. The instructions had said that I needed to run the stick under the pee for a couple of seconds. I hadn’t peed in so long that I hadn’t counted it right. I’d tried counting a second or two and then it’d been three, or maybe it was four? Again the doorbell was going, but this time not just the doorbell. I could hear him yelling outside. The one that’d dumped me like a piece of trash on the curb. He wasn’t going to go away. I needed this time for myself just so that I knew what to do next. I stopped crying, and once again,
I didn’t know how long I sat by the door, but from the moment the doorbell rang, I didn’t hesitate in jumping up and opening it. “Chanel!”She smiled as she hugged me. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have left you like that at the Prom. I never knew. Why didn’t you tell me?”“Because I didn’t want to ruin Prom for you.”She pulled back and said, “You kidding me? You didn’t want to ruin Prom for me.”I nodded as I ushered her into the house and then closed the door behind her. “You’ve been sitting here in the dark. Adele, why are you doing this alone?”I couldn’t tell her that I did part of it with a complete stranger. She wouldn’t understand, part of me wondered if I knew what was going on right then. Everything seemed to be out of my hands, and the craziness seemed to be taking it over because I felt as if I was someone different. A person that I’d never been faced with was coming out of me, and I didn’t like it. Not one bit. “And your mom, does she know?”I shook my head and then laughed nerv
Mom could have taken around twenty minutes to come home. It could have been longer. The moment she came through the door and she saw Chanel and I on the sofa, she ran to me. “Adele, what’s wrong? You sounded weird on the phone and then Liam’s acting strange too.”I didn't want to tell her or dramatize the situation, but I’d been repeating how this whole thing was going to go. The moment she walked through the door and into my arms, I lost courage to do it. Literally. I’d been visualizing how the talk was going to go and every single time that I replayed it in my head, it ended up badly. That was when I noticed it, as she cupped my face with her hand. A ring. An engagement ring.I took her fingers from my face, as the rough edges stroked it. “Mom is this what I think it is?”She nodded, but then hesitated as she said, “Yes, Henry proposed last night. He cooked dinner and I had no idea.”“But you haven’t even been going out that long. How could you?”She shook her head. “I thought
I couldn’t fucking believe my life right now. Everything seemed to go from bad to worse in a flash and I knew that it was my fault. I couldn’t fucking deny it. I should have banged down the door and told Adele to let me in, instead of running away like a chicken. The thing that I was good at doing all the fucking time. I took a deep breath thinking about the fact that I let Chanel do my dirty work. A ride on the bike. A sip of Dad’s beer in the fridge didn’t get rid of the nerves. And the last thing I wanted to do was talk to Dwayne. I knew what he would say about it. That I was an idiot and had a way of taking everything for fucking granted. I knew that, I just didn’t feel like being told the obvious. Not today. Not the way that I was feeling. “What the fuck?” Dwayne spat out as I was just about to hop on my bike. I gathered that Dad was with Laurie, which was the best thing, because then I would stand up like a man and tell them all the truth at the same time.I wasn’t really in
I made up my mind, which didn’t mean that things were going to be easy.I rode my bike over to Adele’s place. I thought about what to tell her the whole ride. If the way hadn't been so well lit by street lights, with few cars on the road, I might have crashed because I was so fucking distracted. A small corner of my mind even thought it would be a relief, because it would be some escape out of the situation.But I’m not escaping anymore. I can't keep being a fucking coward. I’m going to face this head on, and I need to get Adele to listen to me.I knew it wouldn’t be easy. She’d been really mad at me, and I couldn’t even blame her.Not too long later, I stood at Adele’s door. I didn’t knock, or ring the bell right away, because I was frozen on her doorstep. I’d arrived, but fuck it, I still didn’t know what I was going to say to her! I turned away from her door and paced down the short driveway, looking up and down the street. I wasn’t leaving, just…taking deep breaths to calm myself
After standing in front of her door for too long, I went back home, and went to my room, leaving the lights off. I just lay on my side on the bed, staring off into space. I wasn’t sure when I fell asleep, but the next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes and my room was brightly lit. The first thing I thought of, was what happened when I went to see Adele.I haven’t resolved anything.Why did I even bother going to her place if I was going to give up that easily? I should have been more insistent. I’d made up my mind, damn it! So why did I suddenly shut down when she said she could do it on her own without me? It was the fate I’d left her to, but it wasn’t something I could allow, was it?Get off your ass and go over there, then!But, my body wouldn’t move. I felt exhausted myself. I’d fallen asleep in my jeans, t-shirt and jacket. I’d at least taken off my shoes, but I didn’t have the comforter on me. I shifted around the bed, just enough to get the covers over me, then I closed my ey
I didn’t want to go back to my room. I was still wearing yesterday’s clothes, I hadn’t taken a shower or brushed my teeth. But I went outside, got on my bike, and just rode. I stopped by a store to buy something to eat, not sure how long I’d be staying out before I headed home. I just knew I didn’t want to see my dad.The spot was usually empty, almost no one ever went there. I was at this empty lot that gave way into a grassy field and some trees off in the distance. I parked my bike on the gravel, then walked all the way to the tree cover. There weren’t that many anyway, but I stopped by the closest one and plopped down at its base, the bag with my snacks beside me.For a moment, I just sat there, staring off into space and actually trying to think. I gave up eventually, sighing and leaning my head back against the tree.Fuck. How many days has it been since everything went to shit? I thought.I reached for the bag beside me and demolish the few snacks I’d bought, just some cookies