CHAPTER 23

CHAPTER 23

EZRA

The next morning, I couldn’t breathe.

It was like my chest was full of rocks. Every time I tried to pray, my brain just shoved me back into that booth. His mouth on mine. His hand on my throat. The way my knees almost gave out.

And then—he acted like nothing happened.

He walked past me after morning Mass, straight face, hands folded, giving instructions to the altar boys like he hadn’t kissed me into oblivion twelve hours earlier.

I sat in the pew, numb.

“Are you okay?” Lily asked, sliding next to me.

“I’m fine.”

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I’m fine,” I repeated.

She narrowed her eyes. “Liar.”

I shoved my bag over my shoulder and muttered, “I’ll see you in class.”

At school, I tried. God knows I tried to be normal. I sat in math lecture, scribbled notes, pretended to care about formulas. But every number turned into his face. Every symbol into the ink on his skin.

By the time we hit the library, my brain was fried. Lily was humming while highlighting her textbook. Jordan leaned back in her chair, flipping through engineering notes, chewing on her pen.

I stared at my blank page.

“Okay, seriously,” Lily said, slamming her book shut. “What is going on with you? You’ve been spacey all week, but today you look like you’re about to faint.”

“Nothing,” I said too quickly.

Jordan raised an eyebrow. “That’s convincing.”

“Drop it,” I muttered.

“No,” Lily snapped. “I’m your best friend. You don’t get to look like death and then tell me it’s nothing.”

Jordan tilted her head, quiet, just watching.

I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” Lily said.

“Yeah,” Jordan added calmly. “Spit it out.”

“I’m not—”

Lily cut me off. “Ezra. Now.”

The words tumbled out. “I kissed Father Dorian again.”

Both of them froze.

Lily blinked once. Twice. Then smacked the table so hard the librarian shushed her. “AGAIN?!”

My face burned. “Not on purpose!”

Jordan raised a brow. “Pretty sure kissing requires purpose.”

“It wasn’t just a kiss,” I blurted.

They stared at me.

“Details,” Lily said immediately.

“I don’t—”

“Ezra.” Her voice was sharp. “Talk.”

I groaned, burying my face in my hands. “We were in the confession booth. I was confessing. And then—he opened the door. And he—he kissed me. And—”

“And?” Lily demanded.

I swallowed. “And he…choked me a little.”

Dead silence.

Jordan’s mouth twitched. “Like…in a kinky way?”

“YES,” I hissed, glaring at her. “Stop smirking!”

Lily, meanwhile, looked like her soul had left her body. “He kissed you. Again. In church. During confession. While choking you?”

I winced. “When you say it like that—”

“There is no good way to say it!” she whisper-yelled.

Jordan leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand. “So…did you like it?”

“Jordan!” Lily snapped.

“What? It’s a valid question.”

I hesitated. My heart was pounding so hard it hurt. “I—yeah. I did.”

Jordan’s smirk turned into a full grin.

Lily groaned, dropping her forehead onto the table. “Oh my God. This is worse than I thought.”

“You asked for details!” I said defensively.

“I didn’t think you’d give me a play-by-play of your holy hookup!”

I groaned. “It’s not a hookup!”

Jordan tilted her head. “Yet.”

“Stop!” I practically wailed.

Lily lifted her head, eyes blazing. “Ezra. Be honest. Do you—” She paused, voice softer now. “Do you like him?”

The library noise faded. My heart felt like it was in my throat.

And slowly, painfully, I nodded.

Lily stared at me like I’d grown three heads. Jordan just leaned back in her chair and smirked like she’d known all along.

I pressed my hands over my face, muffling my voice. “I’m so screwed.”

“Yeah,” Lily said flatly. “You really are.”

Then she sat up straighter, eyes wide, and pointed her pen at me. “This—this is literally one of my W*****d stories.”

I groaned. “Lily—”

“No, don’t even. Guy falls for the forbidden priest? Confession booth kisses? Choking? Ezra, you are living my W*****d drafts.”

Jordan snorted. “That’s disturbing on so many levels.”

Lily ignored her, leaning across the table, whisper-shouting. “This isn’t fiction anymore, Ez. This is real life. And you could get seriously hurt if you’re not careful.”

I swallowed. “I know.”

She softened for a second, eyes narrowing in worry. “Do you, though?”

“Yes,” I said quickly. Too quickly.

Jordan smirked, clearly enjoying my humiliation. “I dunno. He doesn’t look very careful to me.”

Lily smacked her notebook shut. “Well, whatever. Just—don’t be dumb.” Then, suddenly, a sly smirk slid over her face. Her eyes gleamed. “Sooo…have you used the toys?”

My entire soul left my body.

My face went nuclear. “LILY!”

She burst out laughing so loud the librarian glared again. “Oh my God, you did! Look at you turning red like a tomato—”

“Shut up!” I hissed, covering my face. “I did not—”

“You so did!” she cackled.

Jordan blinked. “Wait. What toys?”

Oh no.

Lily was laughing too hard to answer, so Jordan turned slowly toward me, one brow raised. “Ezra. What toys?”

I wanted the earth to swallow me whole.

“She—she—” I stammered, pointing helplessly at Lily.

Jordan narrowed her eyes. “Lily. Explain.”

Lily wheezed, tears in her eyes. “I bought him sex toys.”

Jordan nearly fell out of her chair. “You WHAT?”

The librarian finally marched over. “If you three cannot keep quiet, you will leave.”

We nodded furiously like guilty kids, muttering apologies until she walked away.

Then Jordan leaned in, voice low but sharp. “You actually bought him sex toys?”

Lily grinned wickedly. “Yep.”

Jordan whipped her head back to me. “And you actually used them?”

“I—” My voice cracked. “No comment.”

Jordan stared. Then she started laughing too, low and rough, shaking her head. “You’re unbelievable.”

I groaned into my hands. “Why do I tell you people anything?”

“Because we’re your best friends,” Lily said, smug as hell.

Jordan smirked. “And because you’re terrible at hiding things.”

Lily poked my arm with her pen. “So? Was it good?”

“LILY!”

Her grin widened. “That’s a yes.”

I was never showing my face in public again.