Rae

I feel extra snappy between learning about that meeting until the man himself walks into my office. Then the blood is boiling aggressively, and it's taking everything in me not to deck his ass. But I take the comfort of standing at the window and not looking at him because that will just make me want to punch even more.

"Get the fuck out of my office," I say firmly. "We have nothing to talk about."

"Rae," he sighs.

"No, don't Rae me, you jackass. You're the one who washed your hands of me when my father died, stating that you couldn't handle a woman in charge, so you gave me Leander. I've done a fucking good job without you, and I'll continue to do so without you."

He sighs again. It's an annoying sigh. I watch his reflection in the glass pinch his nose. "Did you take care of the problem?"

"I'm trying to but his arrogance is keeping him from leaving my damn office," I reply. crossing my arms in front of my chest. I turn to look at him, "I'm not going to sit here and discuss matters that you excused yourself from ten years ago with you," I add, walking toward my desk. I hit a button on my desk and gesture for the door. "So again, get the fuck out of my office, or I'll have you physically removed."

Leander enters the office with each of his brothers, Lincoln, Lyle, Levi, Louis, and Logan. "And spoiler alert, they don't want you here either. You did this to yourself, Sebastian. Have a great fucking day," I spat before turning back around and looking out the window again.

I hear Sebastian scoffing under his breath as the lot of them escort him out of my office. When the door closes, I know I'm not alone. I can see the familiar stature of Leander leaning his back against the door. I decide to ignore him, only because my mind has other things to worry about.

There's something so exquisite about the city on a clear and sunny day from the 58th floor of the Howard Holdings Company building. The way the sun hits the windows of all the other equally tall buildings and makes the Chrysler Building glow is intoxicating. Standing here, I'm always reminded of my humble beginnings. I loved to visit Father at work as a little girl and stare out this very window in awe, an awe that I didn't seem to lose over twenty-plus years later. Then, Father was an actual father. When I was twelve, I stopped believing in the intricacies and magic that Father brought to the table with his enigmatic persuasion because Mom was alive one morning and then gone by the evening. That's when he went headfirst into overloading my fragile mind with all the information I never wanted to know.

"Rae, we're not normal. Rae, we need to teach you this, that, and the other so that when I die, you take over the family business."

Rae, this. Rae, that.

Four years later? He was gone and a crown was being placed on my head as the rightful heir to an empire I despised. I watched my innocent childhood flash before my eyes before it vanished into thin air. There was nothing left of what brought me peace. I was thrust into a world of vile men and adult situations that left me with nightmares every night for the next two years. Sure, the law was not on my side. I couldn't actually rule as I should have been able to. Sebastian Murphy was so quick to point out that discrepancy. Add in the fact that he wanted nothing to do with me, and I was given Leander Murphy, his oldest son, whom I had known quite well. Silly me always had this pathetic little crush on him growing up, but he always viewed me as a friend. Didn't change the fact that when I saw him again for the first time in four year,s hours after father's death, that my breath caught in my chest. Four years had been mighty kind to him, mighty kind indeed.

And then when I turned eighteen, I swallowed the pain, put on my big girl panties, and went to work. But there was nothing more painful than watching Kay join me a year later, Mae, two years later, and Fay, two years after. I never wanted them to be a part of this mess, but there was an obligation to the family. We were Spencer's first and Howard's second, and the Spencer family name overruled everything. I watched their innocence quickly disappear, something that no one ever deserved. It was even harder to watch Fay. She had the brightest future with a full-ride scholarship to NYU to study law, which she did do, but I knew she'd never get to practice like she really wanted to. She'd be forever stuck in servitude to the family as a consultant of the law until the power ultimately shifted to her to run. She was twenty-one. She deserved a life better than this. 

Hell, we all did.

I could have been an accomplished painter. Kay could have had her clothing worn by millions. Mae could have shared her delicious food with millions. And Fay could save millions in our broken judicial system. Instead, I stood in Father's old office at the Howard Holding Company, a major front for all the shady shit the Spencer Empire does, from real estate and architecture to alcohol of all types and restaurants and clubs that ran the gamut of options and beyond. Kay is in the conference room speaking with some current clients. Mae is in the kitchen finishing up for the day after serving a delicious lunch just hours ago. And Fay is sitting with the legal council, probably trying to prepare for the worst. And much to their chagrin, I'm the worst.

"I know you want to be left alone, but I'm not going to do that," Leander says calmly

I'm triggered. There's no doubt about that. I make horrible decisions triggered. 

"Me? Triggered? What in the hell gave you that impression?" I grumble.

"You need to get out of the office," he concludes.

"And go where?" I ask, drumming my fingers on my left bicep. 

"Anywhere but here."

Sighing, I lower my arms and turn around to face him. I walk toward my desk and knock on it gently a couple of times. "I want to go on vacation, but we both know I can't do that, not yet, at least."

The company-wide vacation is in two weeks. I need to try to suck it up and deal with my frustrations until then, even though it's becoming easier said than done. I know I could give the reins to Kay and she'd lead the company just fine in my absence for the two weeks, but there's so much that needs to be done in these next two weeks here and outside of the walls that running away from my problems isn't going to solve anything.

"Maybe after the big gala at Oheka this weekend, you and Mae can start your vacations early," he suggests.

I purse my lips and pull the iPad on the desk closer to me. I open up my calendar. I had four calendars that needed to work in tandem. I had mine, Rae's, Poppy's, the figurehead of The Howard Holdings Company, Audrey Ellis, my fun brunette persona when I wanted to forget my life for a while, and my reclusive ginger Frankie James. Frankie was never on my calendar, unfortunately. Audrey only makes appearances because she was more or less my alter ego for the gentlemen's club, Eve. And realistically, Rae and Poppy are the same person. Poppy is just to save face for Rae. I'd always be Rae Spencer no matter how much I tried to run away from that life.

I look at my calendar to see the Oheka Castle Gala consuming my Friday, Saturday, and most of Sunday. Unfortunately, it's only Wednesday. "You think Bernhard Fillanes will let me crash in the guest house and chill by the pool if I go tomorrow night?" I chuckle. 

"Couldn't hurt to ask," he replies, shrugging.

"Couldn't hurt to ask," I repeat quietly. 

I rifle through my bag for my cellphone and go straight for my contacts. I come across Bernhard's name faster than I expect, and I tap on it. I look up at Leander as the phone rings just once before he answers.

"Miss Rae Spencer," says his calm British accent. "How are you today?"

"Gonna be honest, I've been better, Bernhard," I answer, sighing. "Got a proposition for you."

"What's up?" he asks.

"Since I'm going to be at Oheka all day Friday for set up and continued set up Saturday for the event that evening, and then the clean up Sunday, could I crash in the guest house Thursday night and enjoy the pool? I'm drowning in stress over here."

Bernhard is an old friend of father's. We went to Oheka Castle often when we were growing up. We had our own home up there in the Hampton's, but we always enjoyed spending sometime at Oheka. It certainly made me feel like royalty.

"For you, my sweet Rae Spencer, I would do anything. Please come Thursday and enjoy your evening in solitude in the guest house," he replies. "Will you be traveling with a Murphy?"

I look up at Leander. "Are you coming with me?" I mouth.

His face scrunches and he looks away as if he's staring at an invisible calendar. Technically, his calendar is supposed to be the same as mine, but it can't always match up and that's why there is Lincoln.

"I think so," he mouths in response.

"At least one of them," I answer Bernhard. "Not sure if both will be coming or if one won't be able to make it until the weekend and I'll have the other."

"No worries. The guest house is all yours, m'dear. Look forward to seeing you tomorrow."

I smile. "You too, Bernhard," I answer. I lower the phone from my ear, hit end, and toss it on my desk. "A little mini-vacation should help," I mumble, grasping my desk chair and letting my head hang. 

"Are you feeling better?" Leander asks.

"No," I answer honestly. "Or maybe a little, I guess. Knowing I can steal away a night earlier and just relax is helpful."

I take a seat at my desk and pull the iPad toward me again. I look at the rest of my day and grimace when I see Aubrey is making an appearance at Eve tonight. "When did I agree to this?" I whine, putting the tablet down.

"To Eve?" he asks, slowly approaching the desk.

"Yeah," I sigh.

"It's theme night," he answers. "You know Kay loves her theme nights twice a month on a Wednesday."

"Has it already been two weeks?" I ask, looking up at him. I fall backward into my seat and run my hands down my face. "Okay, fine. Hopefully I can get a drink or two out of tonight. That'll help."

Leander chuckles and shakes his head. "I'll meet you in the SUV around four," he says, patting the chair in front of my desk before heading for the door. "If you need anything, Lincoln is around and will be more readily available than me."

"What? You going to go have lunch with Melissa?" I ask.

"Maybe," he answers.

"Oh, I see how it is," I muse, resting my elbows on the arm rests and crossing one leg over the other. "You're going to have yourself an afternoon rendezvous and fuck her! Go you, Leander!"

"Poppy Howard," he sighs, chuckling a little as he leans his forehead against the side of the door.

Nice save. He's the only one who could easily switch between Rae Spencer and Poppy Howard without fumbling his words. 

"Hey! There's nothing like a little afternoon hanky panky!" I reply, shrugging. I always enjoy a fun little romp in the sheets with that warm sun coming in through the window. Also, it's fun watching him react to these comments. I know I'd get a rise out of him, but at the same time, it hurts inside knowing that I'd never be the woman he'd get a little afternoon hanky panky with. 

Still shaking his head. "I'll see you around four," he says before closing the door behind him.