Leander

For all intents and purposes, I'm an asshole. 

Let me explain that, because looking at me, that's not the first impression I usually get. But when it comes to Rae, I have been an asshole, and I regret every moment of my assholery because she fucking deserves better than me.

Melissa? 

Yeah, that dumb bitch doesn't exist. 

Why?

Because I fucking love Rae, and I can't be with her.

And instead of her feeling like a horrible human being by keeping me occupied with all the matters of her world that are as important as she is, I decided to pretend I was with someone so she wouldn't feel bad for consuming my time. Honestly, as far as crime bosses go, Rae is the most humble one.

Melissa quickly became an out for me, my way of making Rae believe my world isn't as depressing as hers is because she regrets me having to deal with the shit of her world.

But what the fuck am I kidding? My world is goddamn depressing because Rae isn't in it, not in the way I want her to be.

Leaving her office, I button my suit jacket and walk down the expansive walkway like a man on a mission because I am. I'm going to hunt down my pathetic waste of human space father and give him my two cents. I'm over his disrespectful nature. A man who wanted nothing to do with Rae when she rightfully took the mantle over at eighteen from me, suddenly has a lot to say about the Spencers' business. When Thatcher died, so did his purview. He has no right. He has no say. And if it took a punch to the face to remind him, then it will take a goddamn punch to the face to remind him.

I aggressively punch the button for the elevator and step on once it opens. I hit the ground level and step to the back. Grasping the bar behind me, I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes. I stay that way the entire ride down from the 58th floor. The elevator makes several stops, and there are a few hushed conversations involving me, mostly from the lower-level lackeys within the organization. They're mostly female. Always female and never not annoying.

"God, he's so handsome," one mumbles. 

"Sexy," the other one corrects her.

"Bet Poppy's fucking him."

I frown. God, I fucking wish she were fucking me.

To my dismay, the two of them ride with me down to the ground level, and when the doors open, I push through them to get out first, but then I turn around and slam my arm against the elevator doors to keep them from closing. I look at them both very carefully.

"The only one who will get fucked will be you two if you keep up with the inappropriate comments," I warn. "Best watch your dirty little thin-lipped mouths or you'll be out on your flat asses."

I gave them a confident smile before pushing off the wall, turning around, and head for my end goal: the exit. A single, solitary dollar said that Sebastian Walter Murphy hasn't left yet because he's still trying to figure out where Rae grew the balls she did to tell him off.

I mean, that's quite simple. Life made her tough. She had to grow up very quickly. She has to make these big decisions and then live with the consequences, good or bad. She has been beaten up. She endures a lot of shit, including all the shit Sebastian threw at her over the past ten years. She has to be strong when she shouldn't have to be. She should be allowed to be vulnerable, but the world told her she can't be because she has to be ruthless. Thatcher Spencer was ruthless. Rae Spencer has to be too.

Stepping outside, I look up and down the sidewalk, looking for the familiar SUV that belongs to him. Just looking at them, they all look the same to the unsuspecting eye, but his had a dent in the right front bumper from pit maneuvering Rae once. He wore that damn dent with a badge of stupid pride.

And sure enough, it's staring at me down the way to the left.

I walk towards it, open the back door, step inside, and thrpw my right arm back until it could get the necessary momentum to smash against his face. I'm hoping for the vulnerable area of his cheek that could impact both his nose and eye. When his head bobs backward after impact, I've accomplished my goal.

Except now my hand hurts, and there's no way I could hide that from Rae.

"What the actual fu-"

"Keep your goddamned ass away from Rae, so help m,e I would do more than punch you in the face next time," I threaten. "My job is fucking to protect her. You made that clear ten goddamned years ago. Stay out of my fucking way."

"You're letting your feelings for the bitch cloud your brain," he spat, which ironically involves him spitting blood to the side. Seeing that makes me smirk. Making him bleed is the least I could do.

"What's funny is the only bitch I see is you," I chuckle. "My own flesh and blood is a goddamned pussy bitch. Now I know why Mom left your ass."

What's cute is that he thought the anger in his eyes would scare me or him, attempting to lunge at me. I gladly duck out of the way back out of the SUV before he's a foot away. Instead, his head collides with the wall dividing the front from the back. 

Slamming the door, I move toward the front and open the passenger door to look at Butch, the only person I could tolerate on Sebastian's payroll.

"Take my dumbass father to get checked out," I grumble. "Might have given himself a concussion."

Butch's eyes look at my hand and nods. I look at it and shake it out. "I'll be fine," I sigh.

He nods again. "You got it, boss."

"And don't be gentle in your driving," I add. "Make a lot of unnecessary hard stops and quick turns. Gotta get his brain scrambled like eggs."

He simply snickers as I close the door, but already true to this word, he makes a couple of quick stops before making it to the corner and then whipping the car to the right with a speed that made me wish police were around.

I pull my phone from my pocket and scroll through the names until I come across the second most important person in my contacts list. I dial the number and wait for them to answer. Fortunately, it was just one ring.

"Leander," says the loving, warm voice.

"I punched him in the face, Mom," I sigh. "He keeps getting in her business."

She sighs. "How bad is it?"

I look at my right hand. The knuckles are beet red, but some purple is starting to rise to the surface, along with swelling. The middle one looks like it wants to bleed. Actually, the two on the other side want to as well, but the hand itself feels stiff.

"I temporarily have fucked my hand up," I answer, shaking it out again.

She sighs again. "Come see me, please. I'll get you patched up, and we can eat lunch. Sound good?"

I nod and move toward the SUV parked right in front of the building. "Yeah," I answer.

"What's she think you're up to?"

I scoff. "Spending time with Melissa."

"Leander Sebastian Murphy," she grumbles. "When are you going to stop with this damn charade?"

I nod to the man who climbed out of the passenger seat and opens the door for me. "I can't fucking be with her," I reply as I climb in. I move to the back bench and collapse with a sigh. "I don't want her to feel bad for everything she makes me do."

"But this isn't fair to you, son. I hate this."

I frown and look out the car window. "I hate it too," I whisper.

"Fuck your father and find the happiness you deserve, son. I did."

A smile spreads across my lips. After Logan was born, Mom divorced Sebastian and married a man who loved her for who she was and not only what she could provide. She didn't have any more children physically, but got to mother two girls in addition to her six boys. She was on cloud nine. I envied that. I wanted my own cloud nine.

Also, Mom's a doctor, Dr. Gemma Ann Fielding. And the best part about all of this is that she is the exclusive doctor to the Spencers. That made Sebastian so fucking angry, and it's funny as hell still to this date.

"Get here safely," she adds. "I'll have pizza waiting, and I'll get your hand bandaged up. The girls are looking forward to seeing their big brother."

"You had today off?" I ask.

"And I'm loving every moment of it. I worked six back-to-back shifts. I get two days off, and I'm soaking up all the family time I can get. Come join that."

I smile as the SUV pulled out into traffic. "I'm on my way," I tell her before lowering the phone from my ear. 

I stick it back in my breast pocket and look down at my right hand. One of these days Sebastian would get the hint even if I made him a damn vegetable in the process.