Chortle

“Me?” I said out my thought. “No way! there's no way in hell am following you to a crazy___sorry a stranger’s house. It's more like leading us to a slaughterhouse. The only difference is that you brought this upon yourself while I'm volunteering myself as an escort to death” I waved my head at her.

“Well, when that time comes Kim. For now, let's focus on the party. When the time comes, I would have to see how you would allow your one true friend to follow a stranger all by herself” she said the stranger with her two fingers crooked in the air. 

“Sandy, we have to decide this now before any other thing. We can't follow someone you just said bites you during” I gesticulated with my hands at her “Look at those marks. They look like snake bites. We both are like rags they could easily rumple us. We would be useless to each other. If you are deadpanned on going, then we would have to start now to look for escorts” I said the last part slowly.

She started laughing. “What is funny?”

“You! You are very funny. How would you say we should look for escorts for what? Adrian is a cool guy. That's his true nature. That's how he was made and we can't do anything about it. Most things we don't know truly exists anyways” she said flippantly and dropped her phone loudly on the table to pick up her remaining cup of milkshake.

“I still insist. But like you said, when the time comes, we would address that. I might talk to my brother Williams to go with us” I thought out knowing he would jump at any opportunity to be close to Cassandra. But, it put means putting his heart at risk. I wouldn't want to be the one to hand him the cup that would bear his bile.

“Williams? Why William? No, it would just be the two of us. Period. Don't worry, I would just talk to my Dad’s friend who is a security personnel and have him place a tab on us so he would know where we are at every minute. So you see, no need for worries. I gat this” she winked.

How was I to forget, she always handles things? Monetarily.

“And before you give that judgemental look, he will happily do it for me. Yeah, because he is often applying to my father's good side, so anything that would make him be on my Dad's good books, he would happily do”

“So now you want to use him?”

She shrugged.

We continued bantering like that, we didn't even know it was already evening due to the sharp light fixtures in the cafe. I was driven back to reality when my phone started ringing and I checked it to see it was my mum.

“Mum” I mouthed to Cassandra before answering. She only nodded and picked up her phone again.

“Mum?” 

“Where the fuck are you Kimberly Johnson? Who the fuck is the man that has you so entranced to forget the motherfucking time of the day?”

I heard Dad telling her to stop cussing in the background and smiled. My mum was just the exact opposite of my Dad but I guess that was why both of them are as strong as a fiddle. I feel it's because of her job as an FBI agent with all the training and how vulgar they can be.

I looked at my wristwatch and was shocked. time flies “I'm on my way mum” I drawled and waited for her to cut. But, she didn't. 

“Who is the man Kim?” she insisted. 

“Mum! I'm not with any man. It's Sandy”

“Your best friend?”

“Yes mum”

“Then what the heck are you two doing out there by this time? you know very well the days are looking gloomy” I sighed and pinched my nose before responding. I always did that whenever I wanted to remain normal through an abnormal conversation. It's a surprise I've not done it frequently since today considering the level of absurdity I've been fed by Casandra.

“Mum everything is alright”

“I want to see you both in the next ten minutes. Was she planning to go without coming to see us?”

“Mum, I told you we are coming” at that, Cassandra looked up at me and gave me the no sign. ‘I’m going’ she mouthed to me with her hands joining in.

“She said you should come back with me. And there is no way in hell you are going back today!” I mouthed back totally forgetting my mum that was still on the phone. 

She shrugged “Tell her something came up that I would need to tend to and so won't be coming back with you” 

“No!” I mouthed.

“Hello? Kim!” I flinched and looked at my phone recovering from my exchange with Casandra. “Sorry mum, we would soon be on our way, bye” I cut the call before she would say something else.

“I have to go today Kim. I promised Adrian I would return and I don't want to disappoint him. He doesn't like me five minutes away and I've already spent like an entire day so,”

“Look, you want him to want you the more, then distance sometimes. A day won't kill” I quoted back her exact word at me most times when I want to run off to Greg’s place on campus.

“Fine!” she rolled her eyes and gave up.

“Yes! So let's go it's already late. You know how mum acts when am late back home.”

We stood and when I wanted to bring out money for our drinks, she waved me off and pulled out her purse to drop a $500 bill on the desk for the waiter. I wanted to ask for us to wait for change but quickly remembered she likes leaving tips for waiters/waitresses anytime we went out.

When we were outside, it was already dark. I raised my hand and Inhaled the fresh night breeze. “Let's go, drama queen” Cassandra called from inside her range rover sport 2030 model. I smiled and entered the car and the door slides down.

She did the scary reversal she does that gets me regretting and swearing never to hike a car with her again. “I beg you in the name of God Sandy, not today. I already have a lot skidding my chest, don't want to have another” I held tight to the car seat in fear.

She shouted and ignored me as she recklessly sped off the car lot, down the tard road. “Please Cassandra you know I have a phobia for__”

“Fuck you!” she squealed excitedly “have fun while you can. No-one is dying anytime soon” she continued driving at her death speed.

“Sandy you will have to drop me. What if the police come after us you know how they___”

“Fuck them too! As for dropping you off, you may have to jump out of the car. They know my plate number and know my style. If they have a problem with me, they can fucken call my Dad” 

“Cassandra! Are you listening?” I botched and held my chest when she overtook a trailer at full speed. “Oh my God! That was close. Sandy! You want to kill me before my time. What have I gotten myself into?”

“I will soon get you a fast car and I expect you to drive like this or I take it back and give it to the less privileged” she quipped “Woo__hoo!” she yelled and put the car in automatic mood. I was still trying to decipher what she was doing when the roof flew open and she jumped to her feet, her neck penetrating through the hood, to the outside “Fuck you Chicago! I love you!” As scared as I was, I couldn't help but laugh at her silly behaviour.

She surprisingly jumped back in, “ You are next”

No way. Me?!