Chapter 3

    It's the early hours of the morning and I'm twisting and turning on the tiny bed. It's the same nightmares, they never end.

   It all begins with a car crashing into another, everywhere bloody and nobody surviving and it doesn't end there then a woman is crying bitterly, maybe she's the wife of the deceased and two girls comforting her, Their faces blurry so I can't recognize them, after that, gunshots and a young lady sprawled on the hard floor with a man above her and some more waiting in line. It's all so nauseating and sickening I want to open my eyes but they are sealed shut and am jerking on the bed. Just before I wake up, I feel myself been thrown off a cliff and landing with a splash into the icy sea, and boom everything blacks out... I think I'm dead.

   Until I feel a pair of hands shaking me roughly and I realize I'm still alive. I slowly open my eyes and, of course, they are tear-filled with beads of sweat forming and trickling down my face. I feel my sides. It's wet as well. 

  " Vera! Vera! Are you okay? You were screaming!" The old lady says, still shaking me.

  " I'm okay... " I mumble, my voice hoarse.

  " Oh, thank God! I've been calling you for over an hour now, yet you didn't wake up! Why were you screaming like that!? For God's sake, it's 3:00 am!" She says, her voice laden with concern.

" I'm fine, I think... It's just a nightmare." I mutter, tired of her persistence 

  " That's not just an ordinary nightmare. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

  " No! Go to sleep, ma'am Deborah. We'll talk tomorrow." I prod gently. 

  She doesn't seem convinced and still lingers longer.

   " You said I was screaming. You haven't got any sleep then. Go and rest. I'll be fine." I assure her.

  " Okay... If you say so. Don't stay up too late." She warned gently. I smiled.

  " I won't. I promise." Even though it's a lie. I'm never going back to sleep. She stares at me and I pretend to be okay until she stands up and walks into her room, closing the door behind her.

  And that's when I burst into tears, sobbing quietly. When will I stop having this nightmare!! It's been seven years ever since I was found and still, it never goes away! And the images are always blurry... Sometimes I wonder, are they, my family? If they are, who killed them? Is he still after me? Will I make it out alive?

  I just want to get out of here... Out of all this hurt and pain, but I don't think that's happening anytime soon. I clean my tears and walk up to the small window, staring into the night. This is where I'll be till the dawn comes up. I can't go back to sleep anymore.

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   It's morning. Ma'am Deborah is up and doing while I'm quietly washing the dishes. She had tried to bring up the conversation of last night, but I politely declined. I don't want to remember that... At least not now.

  " Vera?" Ma'am Deborah called, peeking into the small kitchen.

  " Yes?" 

  " When you are done, can we please talk?"

  " Sure."

  " I'll be waiting then. Please hurry." She said and left the kitchen. I sighed. What would she possibly want to discuss now? Well, let's finish with the dishes first. Once I was done, I rinsed my hands and pat them dry, walking into the small living room with madam Rebecca had already sat. I smiled stiffly and sat beside her. 

  " You must be wondering why I called you. It's to discuss your stay in this house." She explained. My heart sank to my shoes. Is she kicking me out???

   "Ma'am... Are... Are you kicking me out?" I stutter. She smiles and shakes her head.

  " No Vera. I can't do that. If I let you go, where will you stay? I want you to stay here, but you'll have to do something for me in return." I'm beginning to get pensive.

  " And what will that be?" I asked.

  " I own a small pub downtown. In exchange for free shelter, you get to work there till you finally get your feet again and can stay on your own."

  " You own a pub?" I repeated as if I didn't hear her the first time.

  " Yes. So what do you think of my offer?" She asks. I ponder a bit before finally answering.

  " It's okay... As long as you're not kicking me out." 

  " Great. We'll be going there tomorrow." She announced.

  " Tomorrow?? But I haven't healed yet." I complain, my voice quiet.

  " It's just to check out the place. You won't be doing anything strenuous." She assured.

  " Okay... If you say so."

   " Excellent. Now go and freshen up and get some rest. Something tells me you didn't sleep at all last night." She said as she stood up.

   " I will..." I mutter behind her. I place my hand on my chest, soothing the ache I had felt when I thought she would kick me out. I'll be going to her pub soon. I don't know if I should be excited or scared about it.

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   The next day, after waiting for dusk to appear, madam Deborah and I finally began our journey to her pub. The ride was quiet all through. The sound of our breathing was the only thing you can hear in this rusty old taxi. Ma'am Deborah holds my shivering hands, warming them with hers and she smiles gently at me. Something glows in me and gives me hope.

   " We're here.". Ma'am Deborah announces after a while. I take a look at the pub. It is located on the downside of town, so everywhere is dark and gloomy. My heartbeat picks up again, this doesn't feel good. We get down from the taxi and slowly make our way to the old building that houses the pub. Ma'am Deborah brings out her keys and opens them and we walk in. Just like always, the place feels empty, and some work needed to be done before the pub is officially open for the night's work.

   " Here." Ma'am Deborah says as she hands me a napkin. " You can use this to dust the chairs and tables while I put other things in place. I'll be right back." 

   I stare at the napkin that is placed on my hands before proceeding to work, cleaning off specks of dust that had settled the night before. It's not hard to do since I've done a lot and much more at Colton's house. I clean up and in a matter of time, I'm through with it.

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   The pub is open now and men and women of different types and faces fill the small place. I'm beginning to get claustrophobic and any wrong move by one of the strange people around here might trigger the wrong things in me. Ma'am Deborah does the work of serving food and drinks, especially liquor to the people around and even though I'm not allowed to help yet, knowing that I'll be doing this soon is not making me feel good. 

   I leave the place I am to go into a much quieter place so I can calm myself. I find a spot and I snuggle into it, slowly relaxing. Until a man who has had more liquor than required staggers up to me and shakes me roughly. I glanced up at him, glaring at him, but of course, he doesn't notice that.

  " Hey, pretty girl...." He slurs, clearly drunk. " What are you doing all alone? Do you want me to keep you company?" He asks and drops himself on the seat opposite me, caressing my face with his fingers.

   " Don't touch me!" I warn sternly, but he just laughs and continues, anyway. Disgusted, I stand up to walk away, but he drags me back and makes him sit on his laps, tightening me there. I freeze as I feel his boner rising, terror passing through my soul. Why can't they just stop being so selfish???

   " Stop! Let me go!" I call out, hitting him repeatedly. He drags me by the hair and I wince in pain. This one over here is a full-blown pervert. With one hand finding his way into my gown, I lose control and bite him in his arms, sinking all my teeth in. He groans in pain but doesn't stop.

   " Stop giving me trouble and be a good girl.." he mutters into my neck and that triggers those memories. The blurry images of a man telling a girl the same thing before taking away her innocence and eventually her life. It's so terrifying and nauseating I empty all the contents in my tummy on his clothes. Then I stagger off, trying to get my balance.

  " Come back here! I'm not done with you!" He yells and drags me back but I slap his hands off. I pick myself up and run out of the pub, still throwing up.  But it doesn't end there. There are voices in my head that I can't seem to shut out. My gaze unseeing, fingers trembling.... its real terror. Every little sound becomes louder and louder till I can't bear it anymore.

   " Stop!!" I scream to the owners of the unknown voices. " Please just stop!..." I beg, falling to my knees, my wounded area bleeding again. I'm hallucinating again. " I can't take anymore...." I whisper, my lips shivering. I hear footsteps coming closer and warm hands hold mine.

   " Tell them to stop...." I plead to whoever is with me.

   " Who should I tell to stop?" The person asks. it's madam Deborah.

   " The voices, they never stop... Or go away.. they live in my head."

    Ma'am Deborah pulls me into a hug. I cry into her shoulders.

   " It's going to be okay... It's going to be okay...." she keeps repeating, even if she's not so sure as well. 

   I don't think it's ever going to be okay... Frankly, I think I might've just begun...