SOMETHING ELSE BESIDES DEATH

No matter how much Alice expressed her sadness in her words or in her attitude, no one could understand how dead she was feeling.

As time went by and with that time, an explanation of Alice to her sister where she explained how everything happened. Alexa couldn´t find the reason why the most innocent people have to suffer more than others, more than those who go back and forth hurting the innocent ones. Why do people look for making this world a miserable place, hurting those who can change the reality of lives just with their presence?

That morning she was heading to her school to hand in her documents to get registered in her last year in high school when an unknown phone number sent a message to her. The message was very clear. If she wanted to find the hidden truth she had to assist to the address that was given at the end of the message. A truth where her real boyfriend was about to be revealed. That boyfriend of hers who was the first one in her life, the first one to give her a kiss, the first one that didn’t judge her thin body like others did, the first one who told her she was beautiful, just perfect in the way she was. The first in everything.

With enough doubts to mistrust her boyfriend, but more than mistrust her boyfriend, to mistrust herself, she headed to the address, taking the car that was forbidden to use, leaving behind her dreams.

She just had to go there and realize her boyfriend was the faithful man she fell in love with, and then, everything would be back to normal. It had to be a joke, a joke from one of those who couldn´t bear he was dating precisely her.

Alice continued her way, the door of the elevator opened in the third floor of that housing unit. With nervousness she walked to the apartment with the number 302.

Everything was well-set up by the person who made her go there. Alice was just a naïve girl. The door of that apartment was slightly opened, her legs were shaking. The more she approached, the more she wanted to run back.

Finally, she took the courage to open the door, like her senses had told her to do that but, in the mere instant she opened the door, she had just preferred not to have done that.

In the living room of that apartment were Gabriel and a girl kissing as if they had been born just for that.

The pain that man was provoking Alice was not compared to any other before.

Alice could´ve believed any lie coming out from Gabriel´s mouth but her actions, those actions couldn´t be denied and if he took that way, it must´ve been just for a reason. Alice was not enough for him; Alice was not what Gabriel would´ve wanted.   

“Alice,” Alexa called her. Her little sister remained silent. “That jerk is going to die, I swear it. I´ll kill him—”

“Don´t you dare!” She looked at her with pure fury in her eyes.

How come innocent people insist on not to make those who hurt once pay for what they did?

“Do you want me to take a seat and see what else he does to you?”

“I just want you to leave me alone, I don´t need you to do anything for me just because I´m the little stupid girl who can´t move a finger without her older sister´s permission.”

That was not the intention of Alexa. She just wanted to let them know that no one has the right to hurt her. Her whole life had been disaster by disaster. Firstly, the bullying in the school, secondly, the murder of their parents and now, a stupid man who was making her sister feel trash.

Alexa preferred to leave the conversation there. She knew if she didn´t cover that little hole on her face, her sister would regret to have confessed the truth.

With no more comments, she went to her sister and hugged her like she was not used to doing.  

Time went by. Alexa trying to finish her work earlier to accompany her sister in her pain while two women in charge of her. The magic Alice was born with was extinguishing little by little, second by second, day by day. A new challenge was knocking on the door of her life. If only the world knew how much she was struggling to get up every morning and not to fall into the world of madness where the love she still had for him could force her to look for him and bring him back to her heart without caring about the pain he occasioned her once.  

She wanted to see him. That was her only truth. Regrettably, her wishes were heard.

After some days eating in her room, that specific day she had decided to have breakfast as she used before the betrayal; with the two women who cared for her the most, an event was about to occur.

When Alice was smiling in the dining room enjoying her meal, someone knocked on the main door. Rosa and Maria looked at each other in confusion, thinking it could be Alexa. So, with that idea in their minds, Rosa went to open the door.

“What did you for—” Rosa´s words were cut off by the presence of the person in front of her. “What are you doing here? You´re not welcome here!” Rosa raised her voice.

Alice´s heart dropped. It was not possible, she had to mishear. Gabriel was there.   

“Gabriel.” She whispered breathless. That pain and that restlessness were just occasioned by him.

“Go to your room!” Maria declared, realizing about the situation.

“Don´t tell me what to do!”

With the courage she didn´t have before, she went straight to the living room. She wanted to get answers; she wanted to understand what had made him to do that. She just wanted to bury that pain. She wished the courage she earned didn´t leave her halfway.

In front of her, Rosa was yelling at him, when she saw Alice approaching to them, she didn´t whom she should stop. Either Alice or Gabriel but it has to be someone. 

“Alice, go to your room.” Rosa said.  

“Leave us alone” Alice asked firmly. Her eyes were burning and as she raised her voice, she felt like breaking into tears.

“I´m sorry but—“

“Leave them alone!” A third voice called their attention.

For the first time since that pain in her heart, Alice felt supported even though she was forbidden to see him.

Rosa stopped her nonsense way to defend Alice. She moved aside to let Alice see Gabriel, but there was no necessity for him to be invited to come in because he had already come in looking at Alice. What Maria was feeling was unbearable. The man in front of them had made her precious treasure cry.

Alice waited for Rosa and Maria to go. Just being in that way, she could talk to Gabriel with the respect he didn´t deserve.

“My love, please, listen to me,” begged Gabriel.

The pain she was feeling went away as soon as those words came into her heart.

“How do you dare to call me my love after what you did to me?” She spoke confidently.

Gabriel was destroyed. Between her hands, he had brought a bouquet of her favorite flowers. The weakness of any woman.

The puffy eyes of Gabriel declared he had been crying for a while. If only she could know how much he was regretting what he did to the woman he loved despite being just a teenager living his adolescence where almost everyone takes everything for granted.   

Gabriel, who was not even in his 20s, had already been gifted that genuine love that everyone looks for. He had never felt what he felt when Alice was near him, but what he didn´t know is he will never feel the same. Sometimes, our wishes, those frivolous wishes we asked for to come true someday, came in the moment we don’t need them anymore just to prove our love for those who made us believe in love again.

That was the case of Gabriel. Before Alice, there was a woman who made him go crazy just by seeing her walking at the hallways of their school. She had been his dream until she humiliated him as much as she pleased in the ways she pleased too. He always wanted to have something serious with her, but not even in his best dreams she could be true, until Alice turned up into his life. The one whom his family accepted for being such a genuine person, the one who changed his life just by looking into his eyes, the one… he was really in love with him.

As a misfortune, his lost dreams had come true. That woman looked for him. Paloma, what a nice name for a demon! She was the one who planned everything when she realized Gabriel was no longer in love with her because a better person had come into his life.

“I´ve tried to come several times but your sister hasn´t let me see you.” He excused himself.

“And, what do you want? Do you want me to receive you with wide open arms and let you hurt me again?” Tears fell down. “I was a stupid. I believed in you. What are you doing here? Are you going to tell me how much you enjoyed kissing her?”     

Gabriel cried. The beautiful world he lived in since she came into his life was becoming trash.

“I gave you everything I had, it didn´t matter if I owed myself just to see you happy. You meant the world for me when for her; you just were another man in her list.”

“I´m sorry, Alice. I´m really sorry, I love you as I haven´t loved anyone. Please, forgive me,” Gabriel fell onto his knees.

Alice never imagined she would see a man on his knees asking for her forgiveness. 

“Please, get up,” she begged. She felt no one to make a man act like that.

“I love you, Alice, and I´m not going to stop until I have you in my arms again and forever.”

“How much is forever for you?”

“For the rest of my life, I know we´re young but what I feel for you is something I know I won´t ever feel again.”

In that moment, when she felt weak, a question came into her mind. Her heart was screaming his name but she had to know something else. Maybe that affair was just a meaningless mistake.

“Since when… since when have you… been doing this behind my back?” She closed her eyes to bear the pain and… the tears.

“That´s not important...”

“Tell me!”

“Alice, please,” he looked at her.

“Tell me now!”

Gabriel looked down. “It has been around 5 months.”

Too late, she got to know the real Gabriel. He did never love her. He just played fool with her. He didn´t deserve her, not even one of her tears. Too late she realized how stupid she had been for crying for a man that never loved her. Maybe he loved the idea of having her body, having her attention but… nothing else.

He was not loving her like she loved him since –maybe– the mere instant she saw him in the library hiding himself from another person. They were from different worlds; they both knew it but continued carrying on with the relationship anyways. Not always a relationship is defined by social classes, by money, by religion; there are even unthinkable things that define the love that is born between two people.

Paloma was not the guilty one there; it had been Gabriel, just Gabriel and no one else.

A love story full of lies had finished, she loved him so much but not even the purest love she could feel for him was going to be able to forget what he did.

A mystery, and always it would be a mystery to know if he hadn’t failed her for so long, if it only had been one time, she would have forgiven him. Maybe not, maybe yes. No one knew and the present was different from the one she was imagining.

Alice had realized how wrong she was when she decided to give up on things she would´ve loved to learn just to be one more minute with him.

She was going to live. She swore to live in that mere instant because, in the end, there was life after him. No one had died of being cheated on, she wouldn’t be the exception.

Something else besides death, there is always something besides death and she would discover that soon.

No matter how much she was going to trip over his name, no matter how many sleepless nights were waiting for her, no matter how much memories would stab her heart over and over, she was going to live. She swore that when he heard those words coming out of his mouth.