002 ~ Pregnant

KRISTINE

"You have to pull yourself together, Kristine. You can't keep doing this to yourself. The man you're wasting these tears for isn't worth it a bit." My best friend, Amelia, tried to console me as I remained still on the couch, tears trickling down my face and pooling at my ears.

It had been two solid weeks since Sebastian divorced me, yet I found it difficult to move on. I was so tired of life. After the incident two weeks prior, I had even gone to his family's house to implore them to help me beg Sebastian to take me back. But instead of helping me, they abused me and kicked me out, with Vanya, Sebastian's mother, bitterly stating that I was never good enough for her son and the divorce was a great idea. She went further to order her butlers to kick me out and warned them never to welcome me in their home again.

I was so devastated. I knew Vanya never really liked me before now. She had been against my marriage to her son right from the start because I was just some poor orphan; Sebastian had picked up from the street and shown mercy by getting married to me. Vanya always displayed her feelings of resentment towards me whenever Sebastian was on a busy trip. She maltreated me and had also threatened to harm me countless times because I was barren. She deemed me as a 'good for nothing' housewife, who was only after her son's wealth. But that wasn't true, I genuinely loved Sebastian with all my heart. It didn't matter to me if he was poor or rich, I'd have stuck with him through thick and thin. Yeah, too bad he didn't feel the same way.

I was really hurt by his family's actions. I knew they never truly cared for me, but I just didn't imagine the time I needed them the most, they'd turn their backs on me and leave me helpless. It wasn't fair at all.

"We need to head over to the mall later, Kristine." Amelia reminded me, her voice pulling me from my thoughts.

I remained still on the couch, but I could hear her moving about in the living room. She suddenly halted, turning towards me as she awaited my response to her reminder.

It was then I reasoned and realized I wasn't really in the mood to step out. I was tired and in my feelings even though it had been two weeks. I still wanted some time alone.

This prompted me to shake my head without sparing her a glance. "Not going."

Her brows furrowed in disappointment. She already knew that that would be my response and she wasn't pleased at all.

"Come on, Kristine. This divorce isn't the end of the world. You have to fucking move on. I know Seb already has, so why can't you? It's his loss, not yours. I implore you to get over him already." She rolled her eyes with a huff slipping from her nostrils.

A pang clenched my heart as I absorbed her words; the painful truth. Sebastian had already moved on and I was still here mopping over him. It's true that I needed to get my act together. But how could I? I was still suffering from the sudden detachment and maybe the delusion that all that had transpired the two past two weeks was just a horrible nightmare and it would all be over soon if I was patient enough to wait. A part of me still held onto the hope that Sebastian would return to me and apologize for his mistakes and take me back. It had been two weeks but I was still grappling to accept the reality.

Amelia, walking up to me, pulled me out of my thoughts once more. She stood before the couch I lay on, her gaze lowered to me.

I tried to avoid her eyes. I didn't want to see the disappointment harbored in them.

"Kristine, come on... Look at you!" She yelled, disappointment and frustration lacing her voice. "You've barely eaten anything since the divorce. All you do is cry all day. You're getting pale and sickly and I don't like that. Come on, girl. You need to drop this pathetic behavior, it doesn't suit you. I'm done consoling you, I think it's high time you face it!"

Despite her advice, I was still reluctant. But that reluctance was short-lived when the news on TV caught our attention. I instantly darted my eyes toward the television upon hearing the name of my ex-husband.

Reality washed over me as I took in the news broadcast by the newscaster on TV. I don't think I had ever been heartbroken before like I was at that point, when he mentioned the name of my ex-husband, alongside his mistress, and further went on to reveal that the new couple were getting married in a week.

It was right there my delusions came crumbling. I felt my heart plummet to my feet, hot tears gushing from my eyes. I didn't even know I had more tears left in me, considering how I've been sobbing non-stop for the past two weeks. But after absorbing the news, I wept like I hadn't before. I was so pained, dealing with the reality that Sebastian wasn't just getting married but he also wasn't coming back to me. It was a painful reality.

Amelia tried to comfort me, seeing how downtrodden I was after the news. I could notice the regret exuding from her as she sat beside me; she wished I hadn't married a man like Sebastian. He was the most cruel person in the world and she hated him for what he had done to me.

"It's going to be okay, Kristine. You'll be fine," she consoled, patting my back while I sobbed on her shoulders like a baby.

***

"Here, eat this, it's really good. I found the recipe online," Amelia said enthusiastically as she placed down the plate of food before me on the dining table.

I merely glanced at the food, my expression inscrutable as I took in its appearance. I don't know but there was something about it that made me feel nauseous. However, I tried my best to conceal those feelings as I didn't want to hurt Amelia. She wasn't really a good cook, but she was trying. Who knows, this meal might taste better than the last ones she usually served me.

I picked up the cutlery beside the plate, ready to scoop from the lasagna but a pang of heartbreak suddenly hit me as I recalled my predicament. It had been two days since the announcement on the news that Sebastian was getting married to his mistress. They had deemed our previous union to be a failed marriage and I couldn't really blame them. I wasn't able to give Sebastian children; even an heir that he desperately sought. He did everything for me but I couldn't give anything in return. How pathetic.

"What is the matter? Come on, eat." Amelia jolted me from her reverie by her show of concern.

Pushing aside my thoughts, I nodded subtly before resuming what I was doing.

I was about to bring the food to my mouth when a wave of nausea hit me. It hit me so hard that I was compelled to drop my spoon.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." I quickly apologized, noticing Amelia was already getting upset. I shook my head. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Amelia. But I swear I have no appetite."

She frowned, staring at me with her enthralling blue orbs. "You've been saying that for the past two weeks. Is it my cooking? Is it that awful?"

I shook my head eagerly. "No, no. This looks lovely... I'm just not in the mood to..." I wasn't able to finish my reassurance as I dashed out to the toilet abruptly.

The next few minutes felt dizzy but when I finally regained my composure, I found myself holding onto the seat of the toilet with Amelia patting my back tenderly. She held my hair to the back for me as I continued to empty my bowels.

"Oh, my goodness, Kristine. I didn't think it was that bad, I'm sorry." She said, her voice laden with remorse as she continued rubbing my back soothingly.

I shook my head, waving her off as I struggled to comprehend what the fuck was happening to me. This was unusual. Or was it? I had been experiencing occasional bouts of illness for the past week but I had attributed it to malnutrition. I don't know but something just didn't feel right about this one.

My thoughts were disrupted as I resumed throwing up into the toilet once more, a wave of nausea hitting me hard.

By the time I was done, I could barely recognize my reflection as I stood before the mirror. I looked so pale, sickly, and somewhat fat. It was as if I had gained weight and that was something I couldn't comprehend as I hadn't been eating really well lately.

On the other hand, Amelia's eyes scrutinized me as we remained in silence.

She finally spoke up. "Are you okay? Do you need to see a doctor?"

"Not really, but I should. I don't understand what's happening to me." I said.

"Oh, okay. I'll grab the keys then." She said and I affirmed with a nod before she dashed out of the toilet.

***

My hands slightly trembled as we awaited the doctor's medical report. It wasn't because I was scared, I was just too weak to even maintain my composure. My heart was broken and all I thought about was Sebastian. I wondered what he was doing at the moment. Perhaps, making preparations for his wedding coming up in two or three days. I mused.

"Kristine, the doctor is here," Amelia whispered, divorcing me from my thoughts.

I merely sat straighter in the chair as I lifted my gaze to see the doctor walking in. She was an elderly woman dressed in white scrubs.

I watched her take a seat in the opposite chair, across mine and Amelia's.

A smile I couldn't comprehend graced her features as she handed me the paperwork. But I wasn't prepared for the news that followed as she revealed enthusiastically.

"Congratulations, Miss Devereaux, you are two months pregnant.”