Chapter 11

Double Life

Nathan’s voice on the phone the night before still sat in my head like a bruise.

We need to talk. For real this time.

I had ended the call quickly. Xavier had watched me the entire time, his hand steady on my stomach, claiming me even while my husband’s voice filled the room. Afterward we didn’t talk much. He had fucked me again, slower, deeper, like he was trying to overwrite every soft memory I still had of Nathan. Then he had let me leave with a final order:

“Act normal. But remember who you belong to when you walk back through that door.”

Now I was standing in the kitchen of the apartment I still shared with Nathan, wearing one of his old shirts, trying to remember how to look like his wife.

He came home earlier than usual.

The front door opened. Keys hit the bowl. Footsteps. Then he appeared in the doorway, still in his work clothes, eyes tired but sharp.

“You’re here,” he said.

“Where else would I be?”

The lie came out smooth. That scared me.

Nathan walked over and kissed my cheek. The gesture was familiar. It used to mean safety. Now it felt like wearing someone else’s skin. I forced myself not to stiffen.

“I thought we could order in,” he said. “Talk properly.”

“Alright.”

We moved around each other like people who used to know the steps. He loosened his tie. I pulled containers from the drawer. The silence between us was heavy, full of everything we weren’t saying.

When the food arrived, we sat at the table. Nathan didn’t eat much. He kept looking at me like he was trying to match the woman in front of him with the one he thought he married.

“You’ve been different,” he said finally.

“You’ve been gone a lot.”

“That’s not what I mean.” He set his fork down. “You used to tell me everything. Now I feel like I’m living with a stranger.”

Guilt twisted hard in my chest. I hated that it was still there. I hated that part of me wanted to soften, to reach across the table and fix something that was already broken beyond repair.

“Maybe we both changed,” I said.

Nathan’s jaw tightened. “Is there someone else?”

The question hung between us. My pulse spiked. I met his eyes and kept my voice steady.

“No.”

Another lie. They were getting easier. That scared me too.

He stared at me for a long time. Then he exhaled and rubbed a hand over his face.

“I don’t know how to fix this if you won’t talk to me.”

“Maybe it can’t be fixed.”

The words came out before I could stop them. Nathan looked like I had slapped him. For a second I saw the man I used to love, the one who brought me coffee in bed and remembered the smallest things. Grief hit me hard and fast. I stood up and carried my plate to the sink so he wouldn’t see my face.

Behind me, his chair scraped.

“I’m going to shower,” he said quietly. “Think about what you actually want, Aria. Because I can’t keep doing this.”

I listened to his footsteps disappear down the hall.

The bathroom door closed. Water started running.

My phone felt heavy in my pocket.

I pulled it out and saw a message from Xavier.

Xavier: Are you safe?

Aria: I’m fine.

Xavier: Come over when he sleeps.

I stared at the screen until the words blurred. The contrast between the two men was becoming unbearable. One soft and guilty and still trying. The other hard and certain and already claiming pieces of me I wasn’t sure I could get back.

I put the phone away and started cleaning the kitchen just to have something to do. Every small movement felt like performance. Wipe the counter. Put the leftovers away. Fold the towel. Act normal. Act like a wife. Act like you aren’t counting the minutes until you can leave again.

Nathan came out of the shower in sweatpants, hair damp. He watched me from the doorway for a moment.

“I’m going to bed,” he said.

“Okay.”

He hesitated. “Are you coming?”

“In a bit.”

He nodded once and disappeared into the bedroom. I waited until I heard the sheets move. Then I waited longer. Until his breathing evened out.

Only then did I allow myself to sit at the table and put my head in my hands.

The double life was eating me alive. Every soft word from Nathan felt like a knife. Every order from Xavier felt like the only honest thing left. I didn’t know who I was becoming. I only knew I couldn’t keep existing in both places without losing something important.

My phone buzzed again.

Xavier: He’s asleep?

Aria: Yes.

Xavier: Then come.

I stood up, grabbed my bag, and moved quietly toward the door. I was almost free when I heard Nathan’s voice behind me, rough with sleep.

“Aria?”

I froze.

He was standing in the hallway, squinting against the light. In his hand was something small.

My earring.

The one I thought I had lost at Xavier’s place two nights ago.

Nathan looked down at it, then back at me.

“I found this on the floor near the couch,” he said slowly. “You haven’t worn these in months… have you?”

The air left my lungs.

He was holding the exact proof I hadn’t been careful enough to hide.

And his eyes were already filling with something that looked a lot like heartbreak.