Chapter- 20

"Are you, by any chance, single, Ryan?" Jack Bennett asks, "I'm Jack Bennett by the way, you can call me Jack."

With bated breath, Ryan had primed himself for what he had thought to be a mundane conversation centred around work, resolving doubts, defending mechanisms. Never did he expect a seemingly innocent inquiry would penetrate the brittle walls of his personal life. Ryan's heartbeats quicken, a forced smile dancing on the dais of Ryan's shivering lips. This unimaginative snooping into Ryan's boundaries had caught him off guard, unsure of how to answer to that. Nervously, his fingers scratch at the transparent top, a futile attempt to ease the dryness that plague his throat. The jug of water sits untouched, a spotlight on Ryan's discomfort— he is self-conscious even when it comes to the simplest jobs like drinking water, if it's to be done in front of everyone.

"Jack!!" Ethan's voice slices through like a blade. LOVESICK'S strict policy of safeguarding their employees' confidentiality is deeply ingrained in the company's DNA, leaving no room for anyone, not even Jack Bennett, the 'administrative assistant' has the authority or approval to track into their personal affairs. Ethan, the guardian of these boundaries makes it clear any intrusion wouldn't be tolerated, one more time, "Please refrain from asking these kinds of questions in future! Take this as a warning!" A reminder of the sanctity of their secure, formal environment.

A glimmer of chagrin bolts in Jack, he seeks to justify his line of questioning, "Sir, in my role as an administrative assistant, I believe I have a duty to ensure compliance. I'm only checking whether Mr. Miller has gone through our terms & conditions, because anyone working under LOVESICK isn't allowed to build a relationship," but post-haste Ethan corrects him,

"I think you're a little confused there, Mr. Bennett. Precisely, you indeed are allowed to administer my workers here, which should be done in my ABSENCE. Other than that, I think I'm capable of making my own decisions."

"I was only trying to–"

"Please, it's… it's alright," Ryan, caught between the crossfire, sees a way to quell the brewing storm. "Mr. Jack Bennett is only concerned that I'm following the terms, as one responsible employee should," with delicacy noted, he wipes a trickle of sweat from beneath his nose. Ryan summons courage to speak. "Mr. Bennett, rest assured that I've thoroughly made myself acquainted with the terms and conditions. Though I may disagree with the notion of limiting matters of the heart, I must confess that I'm currently not seeing anyone. I'm in fact, very much single right now."

Ryan's admission seems to ignite a rusty, inexplicable bulb of satisfaction within…the CEO himself. Like some tightly concealed secret, Ethan's eyes remain on his assistant. The lifeblood of Ryan's existence revolves around love— an endless pursuit of its splendour, yet he finds himself devoid of such a connection? Did Ryan really learn to blabber so much about love without ever actually experiencing it? Impossible. Unyielding and unblinking, Ethan contemplates, intently staring at his personal assistant. Ryan is single, but why does Ethan feel a dim fondle of joy?

"Thank you for your cooperation," Jack exclaims, a self-satisfied smirk hiding at his corners, "I have another question that may delve into even more personal territory. And I must admit I'm slightly afraid about asking it."

Ethan, abruptly on edge, bidding farewell to his thoughts, can feel his resentment steaming inside, "Jack, can we please steer away from probing into personal matters? Let's not overwhelm your new colleague already!"

The pleas on Ethan seem to fall on deaf ears, both Jack and Ryan appear unfazed. Ryan, with a nervous nod of unease, simply assents, "Sure."

"Did you ever have any ex, Ryan?"

Fingers slip hastily, released from the cold, polished conference table, gnawing at Ryan's steadfast black denim in a futile attempt to evade the forthcoming onslaught of staggering sentences. Denim, a bad choice for a day when you would come in contact with enormous surprises— whether they be boons or banes, surprises are what they're called for a reason.

Air, once a lifeline, now becomes a vice that unsympathetically constricts around Ryan's chest, stifling every gasp of oxygen that dares enter his tormented lungs. "We're over. You don't deserve me! Goodbye!" Yes those were the last words between them. Those words full of bile still play like haunting music. In the wake of those final words exchanged, Ryan plummeted into a black hole of loneliness, refusing to spare a glance at the ruins. A charade of moving forward was passionately enacted, burying the profound wellspring of unresolved turmoils.

Hung by deliberate rasp, Ryan's hand seeks compassion in the familiarity of his own fabric, a handful is molested by the owner's blunt, uneven, chapped nails. His two bright portals to colours, now worn out, slips down by the burdens of time, refuse to confront the demons of his past, the harrowing memories that he wants to forget completely. Why, then, the ghosts of his history relentlessly pursue him, refusing to grant Ryan reprieve? Ryan says he has moved on…but deep inside, he hasn't— what has passed is but an indelible scar on the fragile heart.

"I…"

"That's enough questions for today!!" Ethan has had enough. And it's only him who knows to bring an immediate termination to whatever is going on under LOVESICK's roof. Gone are the days of only standing and passively observing his assistant's plight, "I'm guessing no one has any useful questions here anymore!! Thank you for your presence and attention for all these while."

Ethan is now ready to take decisive actions, "I appreciate your presence thus far, but the time has come to conclude this meeting for today. Please put your signatures in the attendance register, and quickly exit the premises."

Panic settles in the room— majority looking at Jack like 'if eyes could kill', a select few offer sympathy.

Among the plethora, Ryan doesn't fail to look at his boss, the authoritative figure, zealous, who often abuses his power. What's new in that? What's new is…that authoritative figure has a capacity to care, to truly care. The brunette's eyes are misty, he is looking at the CEO with gratitude, a smile managed, raining from the mist.

"What is the matter with you all!? Did my words not get to you? I insist that you leave immediately to avoid repercussions!! The exit is that way," Ethan's finger sweeps the room diagonally, landing at an exit, "I can seriously penalise you for these kinds of uncivilised behaviours. So, leave when I'm still letting you."

Soul broadening, coiled in an unspeakable peace, Ryan looks at himself, bold enough to present a hand on 'the Ethan Smith', CEO of LOVESICK's shoulder, who in turn is taking the last sip from his rose tea— "Thank you, Sir."

Arrested by sniffles, a single teardrop vivaciously sketches the soft contours of Ryan's visage, imbued with the first bittersweet ache of LOVESICK. Ethan's cup clacks as he puts it away on table, his thumb tracing that droplet, wiping it off of a wallflower, "It's okay…"

-

"Investigating the binary division that ultimately leads to unity," LOVESICK's founder and his loyal assistant now find themselves relocated in their workspace, in Ethan's narrowed box room. Ryan, harbouring a creative mind, seizes his newfound idea. Bullet points recorded in his journal, Ryan asks for permission to expound on them.

"Please proceed," Ethan's interest pique— last time, Ryan hadn't let down, he delivered brilliance, both during the brainstorming, and during the presentation.

"Sir, our proposal entails offering users a comprehensive list of attributes that accurately define them. Now, one may ask, what sets us apart? After all, all dating applications, including LOVESICK already have this concept in-built. Here, I am thinking about a subtle twist.

In addition to conventional ways of choosing attributes, we shall introduce atypical ones. Choosing an instance, 'always available for everyone': a trait that essentially translates to welcoming the burdens and negativities others wish to offload. Likewise, 'I love to be the one in charge' will signify a penchant for control. These traits will be presented in the shape of a quiz assessment. Naturally, we shouldn't present them as they truly are, for this is when our talented board of content writers and editors come into play. They shall artfully rephrase the terms, hiding their true implications."

"And what shall we do after these distinct designations?" Ethan debates, his mind reeling.

"To be perfectly honest, my intention is to absolutely weed out those who possess controlling, manipulative, and overly competitive tendencies— what we- no, I commonly refer to as 'toxic' individuals," Ryan kneads his thoughts with an elastic exhale, and casts it aside. He cannot let his emotions dictate his work. "This course of action, as I'm aware, may not be perceived as user-friendly, LOVESICK will issue a gentle warning, listing that such behaviours may be loathed by many profiles. But, believe it or not, there are a fraction of people who actively seek toxic relationships, consciously or subconsciously, justifying them under the guise of societal norms…what I see as 'toxic' by the way."

"What are you exactly suggesting, Mr. Miller?"

"Hence, we shall suggest profiles that share similar attributes, or are looking for similar ones," Ryan seethes underneath, "However, we also will very rarely offer profiles that are diametrically opposed— as LOVESICK boasts a comment section, 'toxic' users may gain insight in where they err, provided the comments are relevant and essential. Needless to say, any unnecessary, irrelevant, offensive or lewd comments shall not be tolerated and shall be deleted, accompanied by an alarm notification sent to them personally."

Pen in hand, Ethan jots something down in a pristine notepad, "Define toxic."

"Toxicity, leaving few, is an exceedingly subjective concept, encompassing a variety of interpretations. I have no intention to undermine or offend anyone's beliefs," it is better to be safer than sorry, Ryan knows it too well, had always, "While I may not believe in 'healing' a partner, there are those who do."

"In essence, it's similar to the realm of myths & magic, wouldn't you agree?" Ethan ventures.

Ryan sets his journal on the desk, "That, Sir, is exactly what people must comprehend first. Myths reside in a bubble of fantasy, but toxicity is more of a bitter reality. Let me give you an example— the notion of sacrifice, as I mentioned the other day, and as mentioned under the umbrella term 'myth' remains mythical as long as it's balanced. The same notion mutates into toxicity the moment one party consistently bears the burden. That's the crucial distinction we must all comprehend…at least must try to."

"But, Mr. Miller, what if these 'toxic' relationships, let's just say, according to your definition— don't endure, and instead result in horrific outcomes?" Ethan poses a valid disquiet.

"I can say the same about non-toxic relationships, according to my definition," Ryan argues, "As representatives of a dating app, we can only assist individuals in finding their love, not to fall in love. We'll only try so that no one can take love for granted."

"Hmm…" Ethan thinks deeply, judging something, or rather someone, "Mr. Miller?"

"Yes?"

"You're speaking from your life, aren't you?"