My new wife was avoiding me.I watched her dance during the reception, her green dress tight against her curves. One of the groomsmen—Kevin? Keith?—had his hands dangerously close to her arse. One more inch and he’d have a nice handful.Mari, to her credit, somehow managed to wiggle out of his grip to move his hands to a more appropriate place on her back without missing a beat. It was only her smile faltering that showed she was annoyed.I’d got good at reading my wife in the last two days.My wife. My bloody fucking wife.Me, the guy who hated the idea of marriage. I was a bitter old man in a young man’s body when it came to shite like this. Yet I’d skipped to the altar like a starry-eyed girl the second I got rat-arsed and horny for a gorgeous redhead.It’ll make me feel better, she’d said, her cheeks flushed, her eyes glassy. It’ll make David so mad. And it’d be fun. Don’t you like to have fun?I liked to have fun. Fun that didn’t involve signing my life away to a woman in o
My eyes glazed over when I ended up reading the same line in this wastewater management manual for the third time. Rubbing my temples, I glanced at the clock on the wall across from my desk.11:45. I still had five more hours of work. A workday had never moved so glacially as today.I didn’t hate my job. As a technical writer at a large engineering firm, I received a good salary and benefits. I had regular hours. I could take vacations; I had sick leave. We could even invest in the company’s stock options, if we felt so inclined.I’d been fortunate enough to get this job right out of college. I’d been told how lucky I was, given the economy and that I had little work experience. Be grateful you found full-time work right away.I’d seen my friends and peers struggle to find jobs while I started making a cool fifty thousand a year. Not a fortune, but enough to support myself.“Mari, have you finished editing that manual?” said my boss, Leslie, as she stopped by my cubicle.“Not yet
A week after I’d got back to Seattle, I had dinner with Niamh at our favorite sushi place in Capitol Hill. Niamh had just bought herself a car after working all summer at our uncle Henry’s auto shop, and she showed the car to me like it was her new kid.“Isn’t she a beauty?” Niamh brushed a hand down the side of her Volkswagen that had to be three times older than she was. “The second I saw her, I knew she’d be mine.”“Did you help fix her up?”“Duh. Put in a new transmission, brakes, everything. I wouldn’t let anyone touch her, except for when Uncle Henry got mad at me for messing with the engine. He said I didn’t know what I was doing and could’ve gotten hurt.”I wished Niamh were less like me, but Christ Almighty she was just as stubborn and impulsive. As a toddler, I had to buy a leash to keep her from running into traffic. I’d got a reputation in town for being the teenager who took his sister out for walks like a dog.As the years passed, Niamh hadn’t lost that willfulness.
I have a proposition for you,” said Liam without preamble.When Liam had texted me a week after we’d returned from Las Vegas to ask that we meet in a neutral place, I hadn’t hesitated.Now I wondered why I hadn’t hesitated. Apparently him giving me an amazing orgasm had fried my brain and made me forget he was a giant jerk-wad.“A proposition,” I repeated. “Why do I not want to know what that means?”His grin was too easy, his body language almost languid. Like he knew I’d agree before I’d said the magic yes word. It was annoying.We’d decided to meet in a neutral place, a coffee shop in Ballard that currently had an array of customers, including a man with a blue macaw on his shoulder. No one batted an eye at the bird even when it squawked random words at other customers. Beans! Coffee! Llamas!Last week in Ballard, I’d seen a guy wearing a cat in a front pack so random pets were pretty normal around here.“I don’t need people knowing we got married when we were drunk in Vegas,
A week after Mari and I signed our contract, and three days after Mari moved into my place, I cursed myself for being the greatest fool alive.Live together, I’d said, it’ll be fine, I’d said.Except it wasn’t fucking fine. Mari was in my space, her smell, her voice, her very being taking up both my physical and mental space.She’d filled my fridge with chick food. I was pretty sure she’d bought at least one bottle of rosé and one bottle of chardonnay, both of which I never allowed near my kitchen for obvious reasons. She’d filled my bathroom cabinets with so many items—how did women have so much stuff?It had been so long since I’d lived with a woman I’d forgotten they collected products like magpies collected things for their nests. They had soap for each body part. They had tweezers and clippers and tiny scissors; they had lotion and razors and hair spray. And so much makeup. Thankfully Mari had kept most of her makeup in her bedroom—my second bedroom—because there wasn’t room f
That Saturday, I found myself hiding in my parents’ bathroom during a family dinner. Why? Oh, I’d just told everyone I was married now and living with my husband. Surprise!At the moment, I was avoiding speaking to my husband. Because I knew that if I spoke to him, he’d try something. Like seduce me.So I kept our conversations as unsexy as possible if I needed to say anything at all. A guy can’t really work with questions like “Where’s the toilet paper?” and “When does your recycling go out?” Not even someone like Liam Gallagher, seduction expert.But now I had a more important issue than the possibility of making recycling bins sexy: explaining to my family that I was married.The conversation thus far before I’d run to hide in the bathroom had been as follows:“You’re what?”“To who? David? Did he beg for you to take him back?”“Why would you marry David? He cheated on you. He sucks.”“Are you joking? You have to be joking. It’s not a good joke, Mari. Stop this.”My parents
By the time I arrived home—no, not home, it was Liam’s place—I stalled going inside. The entire drive home, anxiety churned in my gut. For the first time, this entire situation had truly dawned on me. It was like I’d been floating through a dream until reality had splashed me with a bucket of ice water.I pressed my forehead to the steering wheel. That too-familiar panic threatened to take over like it had at Jenna’s wedding reception. I took in a shuddering breath. Then another. Until I was calm enough to go inside and hope Liam wouldn’t ask me about my supposed work party.I wasn’t talking to him anyway, so that should be easy enough.Liam was lounging on the couch, music filling the living room. He had a spectacular view of Elliott Bay—way better than my view of a general store I’d had at my old place. The most exciting thing I’d see out my window was when raccoons would knock over the trashcans and the owner would come out, yelling at them and threatening to call the cops. I’d n
“Niamh,” I said, totally at a loss. “The bloody hell are you doing here?”It was Mari who had the sense to usher my soaking-wet sister into the apartment. When had it started raining? When you were licking your wife’s pussy, that’s when.“What’s your name again?” said Mari to my sister.“Niamh,” said Niamh slowly, her teeth still chattering. “Like ‘weave’ except it starts with an ‘n.’”“It’s nice to meet you, Niamh. Let’s get you out of those wet clothes.”“I can do it myself,” groused Niamh. “I know where the bathroom is. I don’t even know who you are, though.”Niamh headed to the bathroom and shut the door hard enough that I winced.What the hell was my teenage sister doing here? Did Uncle Henry and Aunt Siobhan know? It was a two-hour drive from Olympia, and it was a school night. There was no way they would’ve let her come here.I checked my phone, only to realize the battery had died. Plugging it in, the screen filled with missed calls and texts from my aunt and uncle.Do