Chapter 13: Before I Knew

Keisha didn’t sleep.

She tried.

But every time she closed her eyes, she saw the same thing.

The man standing too close.

Malik’s hand moving too fast.

The gun.

The way the world didn’t stop even when everything inside her did.

So she stayed awake instead.

Sitting on the edge of the bed in the quiet room Malik brought her to, staring at a wall she didn’t trust yet.

It wasn’t her place.

That was the first thing she noticed.

Nothing here belonged to her.

Not the air.

Not the silence.

Not the feeling of being somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be.

She pulled her knees up slightly, arms wrapped around them.

Trying to steady herself.

But her mind wouldn’t slow down.

Because everything had changed too fast.

And none of it made sense when she replayed it alone.

Malik.

That was the part she couldn’t escape.

The same person she once knew in a completely different life now standing in front of her like something she didn’t recognize.

But also couldn’t ignore.

She exhaled slowly.

“You don’t get to just come back into my life like this,” she whispered to herself.

But even saying it didn’t feel strong enough.

Because he hadn’t “come back.”

He had dragged a whole other world into her.

And left her standing in the middle of it.

Her thoughts drifted without permission.

Back to before.

Before all of this.

Before silence felt dangerous.

Before streets had meaning beyond where you were walking.

Malik back then wasn’t like this.

He laughed more.

Spoke softer.

Used to walk her home like the world wasn’t something to watch over his shoulder.

She remembered thinking he was just… complicated.

Not dangerous.

Not this.

Her chest tightened slightly.

Because she also remembered something else.

The way he used to look at her when he thought she wasn’t paying attention.

Like she mattered more than he said out loud.

That part didn’t fit with what she saw now.

And that’s what hurt the most.

Keisha stood up finally, pacing slowly across the room.

The floor creaked under her steps.

Every sound felt too loud.

Too exposed.

She stopped near the window.

Pulled the curtain back just slightly.

Outside, everything looked normal.

A quiet DC street at night.

A couple cars passing.

A distant siren somewhere far enough away to feel like it belonged to another world.

But she didn’t trust normal anymore.

Not after today.

Not after that man.

Not after Malik standing in front of her like he already knew how things would end.

She let the curtain fall back into place.

Her reflection stared back at her faintly in the glass.

She barely recognized herself.

“I don’t even know what I’m doing here,” she said out loud.

Her voice sounded smaller than she wanted it to.

Because the truth was—

She didn’t.

She didn’t know if she was safe here.

Or if she was just waiting somewhere new for something old to catch up to her.

And Malik…

Malik was the part she couldn’t decide how to feel about.

That’s what frustrated her most.

Because fear was easy.

Fear made sense.

But him?

He complicated everything.

He stood between protection and danger in a way she couldn’t separate cleanly.

She hated that.

Her phone sat on the nightstand.

Silent.

She stared at it for a long time before picking it up.

No new messages.

No unknown numbers.

Just silence.

But silence didn’t mean peace anymore.

It meant waiting.

She locked the screen again.

Set it down slowly.

“I should’ve never known you,” she whispered.

But even that didn’t feel fully true.

Because part of her didn’t regret him.

Not completely.

And that was the part she didn’t want to admit.

Her thoughts pulled her somewhere deeper then.

Not memory this time.

Feeling.

The way her chest tightened when he said her name.

The way he looked at her in the truck when he finally stopped lying halfway.

Not soft.

Not gentle.

But real.

And real was what scared her most.

Because real meant this wasn’t just danger.

It was connection.

She sat back down on the bed slowly.

Hands pressed into her face for a moment.

Trying to reset her thoughts.

But nothing reset.

Everything kept looping back to one thing.

Malik didn’t leave her life because he stopped caring.

He left because something forced him to.

And now she was inside it anyway.

Whether she wanted to be or not.

A soft knock came at the door.

Keisha froze.

Didn’t move.

Another knock.

Then Malik’s voice.

Low.

Careful.

“You alright?”

She didn’t answer right away.

Because that question hit differently now.

Not just concern.

Not just distance.

Something heavier.

Something she couldn’t name yet.

“I’m fine,” she said finally.

A pause.

Then—

“Get some rest,” he said.

Footsteps faded after that.

Keisha stayed still long after he left.

Because sleep wasn’t what she needed.

Clarity was.

And right now?

She didn’t have any.

She leaned back slowly against the bed frame, staring into the dark.

Trying to make sense of everything.

But one thought kept coming back stronger than the rest.

If Malik left her to protect her…

Then whatever was coming next—

Had already decided she was part of it.