Chapter 1

Present Day

LYRA

"Lyra, stop!"

My older brother, Alex's deep voice bellows through the training hall. The sound bounces off the brick walls and high ceilings, echoing through the large open space.

In my periphery, I see some of the other warriors flinch, but I refuse to look up.

Even as I hear Alex’s footsteps pounding closer, I ignore him. All I focus on is the erratic breathing of the male I’m currently straddling. The way his heart beats like a cornered animal.

He’s fucking afraid, and I’m feeding off of it.

The rage consumes me, my beast almost unleashed. I can already feel my nails shifting into claws, my canines lengthening.

Just as I'm about to shove my hand into the warrior's chest, I'm gripped by the waist and hurled backwards.

It takes me a few moments to realise that Alex is holding me tightly against his chest, pinning my arms at my sides as he wraps me in a ridiculous bear hug.

I struggle against him, desperately trying to rip from his arms and grab the warrior again when,

"Lyra, Stand. Down," Alex orders.

His voice now radiates with the power of his Alpha command.

What the fuck?

No way. No way did my own brother just use his command on me. He wouldn’t, right?

Wrong.

Slowly, the beast inside me obeys the power of her Alpha, even as my own emotions still riot beneath my skin, refusing to fall in line.

When I finally stop struggling against him, Alex doesn’t let go immediately. He waits, probably listening to my heart racing in my chest, before he sighs and hesitantly loosens his grip.

The moment I’m completely free, I turn and slam my fist into the wall behind me, trying to release some of the anger still vibrating behind my ribs.

"Everyone out. Get Tristan to the hospital." Alex orders.

I watch as Tristan is taken out of the training hall by she-wolves who look way too worried about his well-being.

Like he didn't deserve to be beaten to a pulp.

Like he didn't try to grope me, sparring like a pathetic teenager who can only win with nipple twists and dirty play.

I huff. I should have done way worse to him.

“Lyra, calm down." Alex's voice brings my focus back to him.

"When has saying 'calm down' to me ever calmed me down?" I glare at my brother.

Honestly, he should know how to help a woman calm down. His mate, Nova, is probably the wildest woman I have ever met.

How does he get her to calm down?

Ewww, no, don't think about that.

NEVER think about that.

Alex runs a hand down his face, and his blue eyes flick to the cracked brick wall behind me. Then to the blood on my knuckles.

“Seriously, Lyra?” he asks. His voice is lower now. Not angry. Just... tired. He sighs as he runs a hand through his golden brown hair.

I shrug, flipping my long platinum-blonde braid over my shoulder and wiping a smear of blood off my hand. “He touched me.”

“I know,” Alex growls through his teeth. His voice is so rough, it sounds more wolf than human. His eyes glow blue, showing how close his wolf is to the surface.

“Leon told me through the link.” He taps his temple with his index finger, and his blue Alpha power glows softly beneath his skin, betraying the fact that he's a lot angrier than he showed the others. Of course, an Alpha must remain calm in front of his pack. But when it’s just the two of us?

Yeah, it’s clear he is pissed as hell.

I stare at my brother wide-eyed while he slowly tries to reign his temper.

“Then why the hell are you mad at me instead of him?” I gape at him, but he just crosses his arms.

“I'm not mad at you, Ly." After another deep breath, he seems to start regaining his control as his skin loses that blue glow. "But there are better ways to deal with this. You almost caved his ribcage in with your claws. In front of nearly a hundred witnesses.”

I shrug, trying to look unbothered.

“You can’t keep losing control like this, Lyra.”

“Like what?” I snap. “Like a fucking monster?"

"You know that’s not what I wanted to say." His voice is steady. And of course, he would never call me that, but we both know that’s what everyone else says.

Don’t let him see you vulnerable, Ly.

I nonchalantly flick some more blood from under my nails. But inside, my stomach churns. I know I'm losing it. My beast is breaking through daily now. Plus, I'm ridiculously strong when she starts taking over, and it scares the hell out of me. I mean, I just about steamrolled a warrior nearly twice my size.

Fuck…

"You have no idea," my voice is barely audible. "You have no idea what it's like to walk around having everyone stare at you like you’re a time bomb. Being the pack pariah and not being able to do anything about it!"

My voice rises with every word, and I hate it. But Alex just looks at me, annoyingly calm, of course.

"Then we'll teach you control." He shrugs like it's no big deal.

I laugh, dryly.

"And how will you manage that, big brother? In case you haven't noticed, no one here is exactly keen on sparring with me. The only willing asshole just got taken to the hospital." I gesture to the pool of Tristan's blood on the floor and then to the door. A flicker of satisfaction curls in my stomach at the sight of his blood. Serves him right.

Yeah, that's not monstrous at all. I internally groan, squeezing my eyes shut.

"I'll train you," Alex says, snapping me back to our conversation. It takes me a few moments to process what he said. Then I laugh.

"Oh, please." He looks at me, surprised, and I roll my eyes. "You're an Alpha. And a father. With a very pregnant mate."

"I'll make time."

"No, you won't." I sigh, “Nova needs you, and you know it. She's giving birth in a month."

“She can sit in on our sessions."

My mouth falls open.

"Are you insane? If something sets me off and she is nearby…” I can’t even finish the sentence. I don’t want to go there.

He stares at me, like he can't fathom the idea that I would hurt someone I love.

His jaw ticks. "Come on, Lyra.” He rolls his eyes. “You underestimate my wife… We both know she could put you on your ass."

He smiles proudly, which kind of breaks my heart. It's true, Nova is one hell of an Alpha female. The only one of her kind, and her power can bring you to your knees when she lets it out.

“Except she hasn’t tapped into that power once during the pregnancy. You don’t know what using it could do to the pup.”

He sighs, looking seriously offended.

"Well, I am more than capable of protecting my mate and my children, Ly." Alex snarls, but I just lift my brow at him.

"Even from me?" I ask. I watch his face falter, but I don't let up.

"You don't get it. I want someone to challenge me so I can rip them apart. I want to tear someone's throat out and feel it crush between my teeth."

He flinches slightly, but I keep going, "And sure, right now, your command still works on me, but you know I'm getting worse."

My voice cracks slightly because I can feel it… my Alpha’s command that should be unbreakable. It’s thinning… slipping. The rage slowly drains out of me, but it leaves something way worse behind. Fear.

My heart starts racing again, and my mind flashes back to the wolf I found in the forest four months ago… I still hear the howls of pain. Still see the blood on my claws. The way his spine snapped still visits me in my sleep.

I should have been killed for what I did. Or at the very least, banished. But here I am. The poster child for pack nepotism.

I shake the image away, and I stand tall, looking at my brother.

"Lyra, we'll deal with it..."

"No, I'll deal with it. I'm leaving.”

Alex freezes.

"No," his words are basically a growl, but I don't look away.

"It wasn't a request, brother. I'm fucking leaving."

"Like hell you are. You're not going anywhere. Especially not alone, Lyra."

I sigh and raise my left eyebrow.

"Only a shitty Alpha puts his sister above the safety of his pack."

Alex’s head snaps toward me like I’ve slapped him. He stares at me. I see the flash of hurt in his eyes, and steel myself for an outburst. But it doesn't come.

Instead, his arms shoot out, and he pulls me against him. He hugs me so tight, I swear he could break bones.

I feel my lower lip starting to tremble slightly when his hand rests against the back of my head, tugging it into his chest. His other hand rubs my back comfortingly, the way he always did when I was little. When the nightmares came, and I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe.

He feels so fatherly. So safe.

Alex may only be six years older than me, yet he's always been this to me. But I’m not a child anymore. And he can’t be my safety blanket forever.

"That was a low blow, Ly.”

I step away, and he drops his hands to his sides. "But it’s true."

My brother exhales slowly and lifts his hands to cover his face.

I can almost see the wheels in his head spinning. And I just watch him… the way his hands fall from his face.

"I'm not letting you leave just because a few packmembers are afraid." His voice is low.

I sigh. "This isn't just about people being afraid."

He lifts a questioning brow at me.

"I'm tired of being stuck in this place. I'm tired of having an overprotective brother and a sister-in-law who treats me like a child with temper tantrums."

"We're protective for a reason," he murmurs.

"You're overbearing as hell.” I roll my eyes. "You've got guards on me twenty-four seven. Even though they're useless when I lose control."

Alex clenches his jaw so hard, I'm sure he’s going to grind his teeth to dust.

"We've still got a witch hunting us, Lyra. I've got extra guards for our entire family."

I exhale slowly, because yeah... It's a good point.

"Besides, where would you even want to go?" Alex asks through his teeth.

I shrug like it’s no big deal.

"London? A nice big city, lots to do. Lots to see."

He scoffs, "Yeah, let's just let a she-wolf with anger outbursts on the loose in a human city."

My shoulders drop, but there’s no way I’m backing down. I’ve wanted this for months, and today? I guess it was just the final straw.

"Well, would you rather I go live in the woods?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

He raises his head to look at the ceiling, then back at me.

“This is crazy, Lyra.”

Shaking his head, his shoulders visibly slump. It’s weird to see my strong, Alpha brother so defeated. And it sucks that I’m the one who made him this way.

He stays quiet for a long time.

Actually… he’s too damn quiet. And that’s never good.

I watch the side of his lip twitch, and my stomach sinks.

The thing about Alex… when he stops talking, it’s not because he’s out of arguments. It’s because he’s already decided how to win. His wolf is probably pacing behind those eyes, smug as hell.

And when his lips curl up, his smirk tells me he's got me backed into a corner.

"I have the perfect solution.”

I narrow my eyes on him. “What kind of solution?”

“You need space. Structure. Discipline. Somewhere you can learn control. Among warriors who won't fear you. Away from your family. Correct?"

"Yeah..."

It takes a moment for me to realise where he's going with this, and my heart is in my throat. There is only one pack like that… It's said to be like a warcamp for werewolves.

“No,” I say. “Absolutely not.”

“Alpha Wynter is a great ally of ours. I am certain he will graciously agree to host you.” He winks at me, crossing his arms in front of his chest and looking way too pleased with himself.

“Zane. Fucking. Wynter?! Have you lost your mind?!”

Alex doesn’t stop smiling. “He’s got one of the most disciplined packs in the region. You’ll train. You’ll focus. You’ll learn to control whatever’s going on in your head. Just like you want to.”

Alex is calm. Way too calm. Meanwhile, I start pacing. “He hates our family.”

“He respects our family,” Alex says evenly.

“Then he hates me!”

He sighs. “Why would he hate you, Ly?”

I stop beside Alex and thump my head against the wall, a little too hard. When I look back at him, he's staring at me with a raised brow. Questions clearly forming in his eyes. Standing up straighter, I release a low sigh and shake my head. No, I am absolutely not telling him. 

His face goes serious again as he watches me. 

“He's the only other Alpha I would trust with you, Ly."

A long silence. My heartbeat slows just enough for the full weight of it to hit me.

He’s serious.

Zane fucking Wynter.

Goddess, I’d rather sleep in the woods than face the golden-eyed Alpha again. What would I even say to him?

Still... I think of Nova’s growing belly. Her smile. The way she always made me feel like I belonged, even when I didn’t. Even when she didn’t know why, I didn’t.

If there’s even a chance I could snap around her, or worse… my nephew, my niece…

I close my eyes.

If this is my only way out?

“Fine,” I say through gritted teeth. “I’ll go to Alpha Asshole.”

His smile widens even further, sharp and satisfied. He looks like the wolf who got the last bite.

“Knew you’d see reason.”

Bastard.