Chapter 3

The apartment felt hollow without Jocelyn in it.

I turned the TV up as loud as it would go, but it did nothing to fill the emptiness inside me.

There was nothing left in the apartment that belonged to me. I was going to die soon anyway. What was the point of leaving anything behind with someone who'd never loved me?

I looked around the place that held so many of our memories. Without my love and care keeping it alive, it was just another apartment among thousands.

After my shower, I lay in bed and stared blankly at the four-inch scar running across my palm.

I'd gotten it chasing down a suspect. The man had grabbed Jocelyn as a hostage and forced everyone else back, step by step. I'd watched the knife pressed to her throat break skin, watched the first bead of blood well up.

Without thinking, I'd charged straight at him, wrestled the blade out of his hand with my bare palm, and pulled Jocelyn free.

The wound had gone deep enough to sever a nerve. By the time I got to the hospital, anesthesia couldn't touch the pain anymore. Even the surgeon felt bad enough to ask Jocelyn to stay with me through the procedure.

She didn't show a shred of concern.

"James, it's just a damaged nerve. It's not going to kill you. You're a grown man. Stop being so dramatic.

"I still need to take Brian back to the department to handle the aftermath. Don't waste my time."

Then she took Brian's hand and left.

On his way out, Brian shot me a smug little smirk, like he was saying: So what if you got hurt like this? As long as I'm around, I'm the only one she'll ever care about.

With the anesthesia useless, the surgery dragged on, and it felt less like medicine and more like torture. I could feel every single stitch the doctor put into my skin.

Even so, I was willing to bear the pain. As long as Jocelyn was safe, what did my own suffering matter?

That was how we'd been for ten years. As long as she got to stand in the sunlight, I was happy to stand in the mud for the rest of my life.

The next morning, a loud, urgent knock woke me up.

I opened the door to find Jocelyn's parents standing there.

They didn't greet me warmly the way they usually did. They walked straight past me and sat down on the living room sofa.

Mr. Nicols spoke first. "James, we've spent the better part of a year keeping your condition a secret from Jocelyn. But it's obvious now that you're not fit to stay by her side anymore."

Looking at the two people who used to dote on me, now showing not a trace of warmth, I finally understood why Jocelyn had always kept me at arm's length.

I supposed it made sense that a daughter would turn out like her parents.

Ten years of my youth, ten years of everything I'd given her, and the moment it stopped being useful to them, I was cut loose without a second thought.

The moment I signed the agreement, a message came in from Jocelyn.

[Why are the car keys in my suitcase? Did you leave the car at the airport? So you really weren't planning on picking me up?]

I didn't reply this time. I locked my phone and saw her parents out the door.

Jocelyn had no way of knowing that by the time she got back from her trip, my funeral would already be underway.