Chapter four

Violet

A thousand thoughts run through my mind, each one louder than the last, who is this stranger I’m supposed to share a life with, what does he look like, Will he be kind, will he ever respect me or simply own me, or does marriage to him mean disappearing into a world where I don’t get to belong to myself anymore?

I couldn’t cry, not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t dare ruin the masterpiece on my face and trigger another one of Mother’s meltdown. She had been planning every second of this day like her entire life depended on it.

“You look perfect,” she said as she stepped into the room, her eyes scanning my face with approval. “The makeup artist really worked magic, i still can’t believe you insisted on that purple gown, who wears a purple gown for her wedding, i wonder what your husband will think.”

There it was again him, today was about him, not me. I had fought for this one thing the purple dress I designed for my boss last year. A quiet reminder to myself that some piece of me still belonged to me.

“If he doesn’t like the dress, that’s his problem. I wanted this dress, and I’m wearing it,” I snapped, anger lace in my voice.

Mother’s expression hardened. “Don’t start your marriage with that attitude, you need to make this work, no matter what, I can’t believe you are all grown and getting married, you will soon start making babies too, you will understand everything I am doing right, the best way to seal your place permanently is to start making heirs early.

She didn’t care about the dress or my nerves or even me, not really. All that mattered to her was the alliance, the name, the wealth. Sometime I wondered if she’d happily wear this gown herself and walk down that aisle in my place.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything but before I could, my sister slipped into the room.

“Mom, they need you outside,” she said softly.

Mother left without another word, pausing only to give me that look. The one that warned me to behave.

“You look absolutely breathtaking,” Layla said, her eyes lingering on me awe. The makeup artist and hairstylist really worked magic but honestly, I never realized just how beautiful my sister is.”

We have been avoiding my marriage conversation, we talk about everything but never mentioned my marriage.This moment staring at each other, knowing everything was about to change.

“Thank you, Layla,” I murmured, my voice cracking as tears pool in my eyes. “I’m really going to miss you.”

Despite the rules, despite the life I was raised in, Layla had always been my person, my confidant, my sister by blood, but more importantly, my truest friend. Even though I was three years older, she’d always bossed me around like she was the big sister and truthfully, I’d let her. I needed her more than she knew.

She tried to smile, but her voice trembled. “Don’t worry. i will find a way to get on your husband’s good side. If that’s what it takes to see you… I’ll do it.”

Then she looked at me, eyes shining with fierce loyalty.

“I know Mom’s been feeding you those 'be a good wife' mantras all your life. You’ve spent every moment trying to be the perfect daughter, the obedient bride. But please listen to me, where you are going, no one gives a damn about your goodness, you are walking into a den of wolves, and they only care about power and perception, they might even see you as a leech.”

She pause, took a breath, and then continue,

“You need to pull on your bad bitch armor, because they will try to break you, to reduce you, don’t ever let anyone dim your light or drag your beautiful soul through the dirt. From now on live for you, protect yourself, love yourself first. Never chase a man’s affection, never beg for respect. And that nonsense Mom said about only letting your husband see your vulnerability?” She scoff, “Forget that. Show him nothing unless you’re using it to your advantage.”

She lean in slightly, a woman is never out of tricks and beauty, darling, is a weapon if you know how to wield it.” Then she winked touching her boobs.

Trust Layla to deliver lecture at this exact moment, but honestly I needed it. But damn this was the kind of fire I needed in my veins right now.

“Thank you,” I whispered, my chest lighter. “ Truly, Layla, You just lifted a cloud off me.”

Her words lingered in my mind, live for yourself, love yourself, never shrink. That was exactly what I would start doing.

Layla’s voice broke through my thoughts again, this time more playful.

“But on the bright side, your husband is super super rich, I can’t wait for you to get a black card so we can squander his money.” She says happily,” First-class everything, baby.”

My mom stepped back into the suite, her face glowing with excitement. “It’s time, honey. The groom’s already waiting downstairs in the reception hall.”

Layla lean in, she whisper against my ear. “Let’s go get you married, bad bitch energy only.”