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The Muse

Author: Luna Sads
last update publish date: 2025-08-15 23:00:57

Madness has a name, and it wears my mouth like a prayer. A curse I cannot lift. It’s like a loophole, no matter what I do, where I got, it always leads me to the madness.

I’ve never felt this way.

Like I’m possessed by something that shouldn’t be named. Shadows whispering sweet deliriums into my ears. It’s not love, and strangely, it’s not hate either. It’s something in between. Something cruel, something all-consuming. As if I’m moving barefoot on gravel, knowing my feet are bleeding, but I ca
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  • His Forbidden Muse   70

    The air after brunch feels heavy, like grease clinging to my skin. Sophie’s smile is brittle, her hands trembling as she excuses herself. I walk her to the door, ignoring the way Papochka’s eyes follow me. I’m so mad at him. He should’ve talked to me before letting Judas take over.“Text me when you get home,” I whisper, squeezing her hand.Her eyes dart nervously to the dining room, then back to me. “Will you be okay?”I want to say no. I want to beg her to take me with her, out into a world where my name isn’t a curse and my family doesn’t drag me like a broken toy from room to room. Instead, I force a small smile.“I’ll manage.”The lie stings. I shut the door before she can see my eyes water.Silence swallows the hall. For a moment, all I hear is my own heartbeat. Then something colder slithers in.My fists clench. Something in me snaps. My feet move before I can think. Up the staircase, down the corridor, to the room with the double doors always cracked open like an invitation.I

  • His Forbidden Muse   69

    “I…I’m sorry, Papochka, but trust me, I didn’t know he had these.” I shake my head trying to denying it. I should’ve seen the signs. I should’ve been careful. I was so into my own world, I didn’t notice what Rox was doing. He was always around, in places I didn’t know. And now he is dead. Because of me.I become the reason for someone’s blood.No matter the crime, my heart is till pounding anxiously.Papochka sighs, taking a step toward me and wrapping me in his protective arms. I let him pull me to his heart. “It’s alright, Solnishko. No one’s blaming you.”I know. But Judas does sound like he wants to blame me. He keeps saying I am too careless to see what was happening around me, that I was thoughtless, but how would have I known?I let Papochka’s warm embrace comfort me as he whisper sweet nothings into my ear. I know he’s comforting me, but he’s also glad Rox is dead. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the one who killed him, but blood on Judas tells me otherwise.Papochka may seem

  • His Forbidden Muse   68

    Sophie’s driving feels like a getaway car but my thoughts are a wreck. Massimo’s scent is still on my skin, clinging to me like smoke after a fire. I feel so disgusted yet aroused for some reason I can’t explain. The clench, the sensation and the afterthought of his every word. It’s as if my every thought starts with him and doesn’t know how to end.My neck burns where his mouth had been, where his teeth had left tiny red crescents. A whole constellation of hickeys. I’d begged Sophie for concealer the moment she picked me up, and she’d handed it over wordlessly while smirking at me like she knew everything.I should be angry at him.I should hate him. But the truth is uglier. I can still feel the phantom press of his hands on my thighs, still hear the sound of his voice.The bastard.He’s not human.No man should taste like poison and make you crave more.My phone buzzes again. The screen lights up with Anya’s name.Anya: Where are you? Come home. There’s drama.I frown. Drama. Anya t

  • His Forbidden Muse   67

    The banging nearly cracks my fucking skull open. Whoever is at the door has a death wish, because if Krystina wake up screaming, I will put a bullet between their eyes without hesitation.I shove the door open, already scowling. And of course… it’s Nico.“Christ,” I mutter, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Not you.”“Good morning to you too, sunshine.” His grin is wide, obnoxious, too white for this hour. He pushes past me like the house belonged to him.“Fuck off,” I growl, planting a hand on his chest to block him, but Nico is already through, carrying a paper bag like it was the Holy Grail. The scent hit me immediately… bagels. Sweet, warm, goddamn cinnamon sugar. Something he munches on like a rabid dog.He plops himself on the couch and unwraps the bag like a spoiled kid on Christmas morning. “Hungry?”“No.” I cross my arms over my chest, muscles flexing with the kind of irritation only he can pull out of me. “Leave.”Nico doesn’t even blink. He stuffs half a bagel in his mouth,

  • His Forbidden Muse   66

    I shouldn’t still be trembling or having bad thoughts after a meal. But I am.The food sits warm in my stomach, I’m full, and the rich flavour still clings on my tongue. But my palms are damp and my heartbeat won’t slow. Massimo is clearing the dishes at the sink, sleeves rolled up and forearms flexing as he rinses off.I rise to help him, to do anything except sit here under his stare, but he catches me with a glance so sharp it stops me mid-step.“Stay seated,” he orders again, this time without looking at me. His voice is softer than before, but the authority makes me freeze. I don’t want to provoke him knowing I’m at his mercy right now. He could do anything he wants to me, and weirdly, I will not stop him. More than his self-control, I’m worried about mine.“I could help, you know,” I murmur. “It’s not too much.”“There are so many other ways I can make you help, bambina, but I know you won’t be able to stand after that. So stay seated while I’m allowing you to.”My cheeks burn.

  • His Forbidden Muse   65

    The bathroom door slams behind me.My back hit the wood. My lungs heave as if I have sprinted a mile barefoot on glass. Heat prickles under my skin. My thighs rub together, restless, desperate, and I hate myself for it.I close my eyes. His hands are still on me. The curl of his fingers. The burn of his mouth. The bruising grip at my throat. The memory pressed into me and I slap my palms against the door, as if I can scrub the sensation away.“Stupid,” I whisper under my breath. “You’re insane. You can’t want this. You can’t.”But I do. My body screams the truth even as my mind try to choke it.I stumble toward the shower, fumbling with the knobs until hot water pours down. Steam rise, curling around me, swallowing my ragged breath. I step inside and let it wash over me, hoping it will burn him off my skin. But it doesn’t. His fingerprints cling tighter with every drop.I press my forehead to the cold tile. My nails digging into my palms. My chest heaves, caught between sobs and moans

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