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His Heart Ruler 22
Ryan’s POV It’s been an amazing morning since I woke up without any nightmares today. I wonder why but later I just stopped wondering because I didn't want to spoil the amazing start of my day by thinking over why I didn't have any nightmares. Life isn’t same for everyone, so do for me. Someday I wake up with the urge of dying but someday I wake up hoping that everything will be fine soon. I’m torn between giving up on myself and hoping for the good, but anyway I have to live through these torned emotions because that’s all I have got. I’ve spent years believing that one day all these nightmares of my horrible childhood would stop haunting me, that one day I can walk into darkness without having the fear of facing my cowardly self,one day I can look at a woman without feeling insecure of what I'm not capable of. One day I can breathe without feeling my heart getting heavy with grief and agony of memories that I'm not able to erase. One day i can just be me without putting a
His Heart Ruler 23
Jenny’s POV I woke up with a hangover since last night I drank too much than I should have. I don’t know why I feel like these days I'm losing my control over myself. Certainly i’m not like this whole thing of losing my control, especially when I'm around him. Last night was another example for me to open my eyes and knock myself to get a hold before things get out of hand. Ryan was good, I mean he’s so freaking good that I can't believe it. From day one this man has been driving me crazy that it’s hard for me to think about controlling myself from what I want to be with him. At first I thought it’s just an attraction since he’s all good looking and can lure anyone by his charm but lately I realised that it just can’t be an attraction because everytime i see him I tend to smile more often than I should. This isn’t me, I don't easily get affected by anyone's charm but him. And the curiosity of knowing more about him grew each day inside me making me more desperate. I alre
His Heart Ruler 24
Author’s POV Ryan hasn't been able to stop smiling since this morning. He was in a meeting where his employees were explaining the presentation one by one but he wasn’t mentally present there. His mind was still occupied with last night's thoughts. Jenny was all wonder for him. He doesn’t remember the last time he fully enjoyed himself while living in the moment. It's either a rush for meetings or being sucked up without any energy left till he falls asleep as soon as laid in bed. He had spent a busy life where he didn’t get much to enjoy and recall to cherish. He had to constantly run one after another thing or priority. And in the moments of rush he never cared about pausing and appreciating what is in front of him, and what he got to live with. The world was out there for him, but he would still stay in his office, making deals in the morning and cursing his nightmares in the midnights. Peace was a rare find for him until he saw Jenny. Be it a day of rain when he first saw
His Heart Ruler 25
Author's POV "Chocolate or vanilla? " Asked Sam, grabbing two mini stoneware plates from the utensils rack. " Vanilla " Jenny replied quickly. " Sadly you're not asking about condom flavours so yeah, I would have to go with Chocolate," said Maya keeping a stern face while she was watching the F.R.I.E.N.D.S series on N*****x with Jenny. Sam shook his head playfully as he opened the freezer and took out vanilla and chocolate ice cream tubs to layer the pecan pie he made. It was late evening when Jenny wrapped her work and called Sam to check on him. While talking to him she came to know that Maya went to visit Sam and both of them asked Jenny to join them too. Jenny agreed and drove to Sam's house as it's been a few days since three of them met as a gang. Besides, she knew Sam will be leaving for Thailand in the coming two days as he has some business meetings with Clients there. Jenny was clueless about what to do with Ryan's text message that she received this morning. As much
His Heart Ruler 26
Author's POV " You aren't serious right ? ... Are you? " Ryan looked down at his mother, who has been keeping mum and looking down for the last few minutes. Ryan wanted to laugh but then it was not funny to be assumed as gay and be forced to meet a gay partner by his mother. He felt judged, and that was more than enough to be angry and upset with his mother. He took a long breath to calm himself and asked her " you think I'm gay? " The seriousness in his voice conveyed his erupting anger towards her, she looked up and said " I didn't mean to hurt you, Ryan.....I thought you must be affirmed to tell me about it " " Tell you about what? That I'm gay as you imagined and judged? " He rasped looking directly at her. His clenched jaw and red-shot eyes told her how wrong she was. After seeing him walking out of marriage and relationship talks whenever she starts about, Ryan's mother Maria was worried about her son's future. It's been years since he turned into an adult and not even o
His Heart Ruler 27
Author's POV Jenny was tossing and turning on her bed for the last two hours and still wasn't getting any sleep. It's been three hours since she came back from Sam's place and hit her bed as it was already past twelve. After changing into a pink baggy t-shirt which hopefully reached below her mid-thighs. Switching the lights off she put her phone to silent and slumped in bed hoping that she would fall asleep soon. And now, it's been two and half hours of her trying to sleep, yet she didn't succeed. She tried everything that could help her to fall asleep, she closed her eyes and lay down while recalling the good memories that always comforted her. She tried counting sheep even if that didn't work. After two major failures in the attempt to sleep, Jenny gave up finally and got up from bed. Leaving a long sigh she looked around her gloomy room of hers, and utter silence was the only thing she could find around her. Stepping down from bed Jenny wore her soft mushy sleepers and walke
His Heart Ruler 28
Ryan's POV " Ryan, you should at least give it a try," said Natasha leaning forward as she placed the fork on the plate and waited for my response. Leaving a long sigh I leaned back on my chair muttering " now I regret telling you about it " And instantly earned a slap on my forearm from her. " Don't be mousy... Just got it " she asserted. " Easy for you to say " I breathed out while looking around. As it was almost lunchtime now I could see more people gathering around the French-Kott restaurant which is near Natasha's office. It was brunch time when I got a call from her asking me to meet her at a French-Kitt restaurant near her office during lunchtime. I was relieved to see her after a long time, since the time she went on a business trip I wasn't able to contact her cause mostly her phone would be out of reach or I was too busy to attend her call. But thankfully she returned earlier this morning and called me to meet her. And I am a messed up shit who needed a sane person
His Heart Ruler 29
Author's POV " Umm this is my first time to be on a date " confessed Ryan with a bit of hesitation dripping from his words yet he’s the one who broke the brief silence that was present between them since the moment they sat across from each other. Jenny smiled " I know " " But I'm not the kind of girl who would feel proud to be your first " she added further. "Oops " Both of them chuckled. It's a pleasant evening for both as one is admiring the beautiful sight which is available in front and the other one is enjoying the time of being admired. After a lot of denying and accepting games Ryan finally decided to give it a try and prepared himself to face whatever falls after this date. Somehow the conversation with Natasha helped him to figure out what actually he wanted to do rather than what he was denying to do. Ryan slipped into a crisp white shirt that clinged to his body like his second skin. Tucking the shirt inside black casual pants he left the upper two buttons of hi
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