What I Refused to Name

Kael’s POV 

“Shit!” I yelled, punching the table.  

“Alpha, please be calm,” Silas advised, watching as I paced the room.  

I ran my hand through my hair in rage, anger dominating every vessel in my body.  

“Did you see that, Silas? She not only disrespected me, but she also walked out on me!” I blurted through gritted teeth, my eyes burning with fury.  

Silas sighed.  

“I witnessed it, Alpha. But this wouldn't solve anything.” 

“What do you think came over her? She has never looked me in the eye before. She always trembled in my presence, but tonight... it was different. She locked her gaze with mine and dared to tell me she is my Luna,” I finished, my voice low and dangerous as confusion washed over me.  

The words 'my Luna’ tasted unfamiliar in my mouth.  

It felt weird.  

Silas didn’t respond immediately. He just stared at me with a blank expression on his face.  

I hated that look on his face.  

“Say something, Silas!” I snapped at him, my chest heaving.  

He cleared his throat, his arms folded across his chest. 

“With all due respect, Alpha, she’s right. She is your Luna. Why are you irate just because she stated the obvious?” 

My jaw clenched.  

“I am aware of who she is. The point is she disrespected me.” 

“You are aware of who she is?” Silas asked, feigning surprise.  

My eyes narrowed dangerously.  

“Don’t, Silas,” I warned sternly.  

I knew exactly where he was heading to. He was about to rant on how unfair and unjust I had been treating her. Nevertheless, he proceeded.  

“Alpha, you can’t keep avoiding the truth. You claim to know her position as Luna, yet you’ve never treated her as one. You subjected her to ridicule, and when she yearned for your love, you pretended not to notice.” 

“It has been three years since that incident happened, and you still haven’t moved on. I think it’s high time you moved on and treat her the way a husband is meant to treat his wife.” 

Silence stretched between us. Heavy, dead, and stifling.  

“Watch it, Silas. You’re overstepping your boundaries,” I said coldly.  

“Apologies, Alpha. You asked me to speak, and I am only voicing the truth. No matter how bitter and brutal a truth is, it must be said,” he bowed his head.  

My muscles stiffened as I turned away from him.  

That incident—I hated remembering it. The thought of it always weighed me down.  

“You think it’s that easy to move on?” I demanded, my voice rising. “I hurt the woman I truly love because of that incident.” 

“But Vivienne wasn’t the only one who got hurt. Luna Aria was too and she is still hurting. Remember she lost her child,” he said.  

At the mention of that child, I froze.  

The child I murdered with my own hands just to please Vivienne.

For a second, I couldn’t breathe.  

My fingers curled into fists, my nails dug into my palm as if pain could drown out the painful memory. 

I thought I had gotten over the guilt, but it still lingered—quiet, suffocating, waiting for the right moment to resurface and remind me of what I had done. 

“Alpha...?” Silas’ voice sounded faint, like I was no longer in the room.  

My knees buckled, but I held the table for support before I could collapse.  

I swallowed hard, forcing my cold expression back on.  

“That’s enough,” I flatly said. “I didn’t ask you to speak just so you can lecture me on how to be a good husband. What I want to know is what prompted her change. Why did she suddenly turn from being a submissive wife to being so fearless and... bold?” 

“Maybe...” Silas shrugged.  

“Speak, Silas. Maybe what?” 

“Maybe it’s hormonal thing.” 

“Hormonal thing?” my brows furrowed.  

“Yes. According to the doctors, if a woman has been deprived of that thing for too long, she might get irritated.” 

Silas seemed to be talking in parables.  

“That thing? Which thing are you talking about?” 

He gave me a lust filled look, a slow smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. 

For a brief moment, I was lost. But when the realization of what he meant dawned on me, my expression darkened instantly.  

“Argggh,” I shrieked in irritation, trying to get the thought off my head. “Watch yourself, Silas.” 

He raised his hands slightly in mock surrender. 

“I’m just saying, Alpha. You know... it has been weeks since you last visited her room." 

“That has nothing to do with her rebellion,” I dismissed.  

“Are you sure, Alpha?” He asked, his brow arched. “Maybe she misses you. She might be putting on this act so you can look her way. Who knows? Maybe spending the night with her might change everything.” 

“No...” I wanted to refuse, but the question—'what if' crossed my mind.  

“You think so?" my gaze softened. 

“Yes, Alpha. There’s no harm in trying. So, why don’t you just go to the bathroom, freshen up, spray on some nice perfume and head to her room?” 

I stood frozen for a moment, my chest tightened as Silas’ words lingered in the air. 

“Are you sure this isn’t a bad idea? What if I end up embarrassing myself?” I asked, masking my fear.  

“Trust me, Alpha. I promise to clean your shoes with my mouth for a month if this plan fails.” 

“Three months,” I bargained.  

“Deal.” 

“You better not go back on your words.” 

“I won’t. Now, let me excuse you so you can get ready,” Silas said, bolting out of the room like a flash of lightning.  

“Will this really work?” I muttered to myself, letting out an exhausting sigh.  

But at that moment, I didn’t deem it fit to ask myself why.

Why was I so bothered about her sudden change in behavior?

For a woman I claimed not to love, why was I willing to do anything just to make her return to the Luna I once knew?  

Was it because I feared what her rebellion might bring?  

Or because somewhere along the line, she had become more than my mistake? 

She had become something I couldn't name... but couldn’t ignore either.