Chapter 3

Chloe fired right back.

[Not pregnant? Then stay out of the mom-to-be's business. Worry about yourself.]

[That report came from a reputable hospital. You seriously think she made it up? Cute.]

Seeing her stand up for me, most of the frustration I had been holding in all day finally lifted. I even caught myself humming during the meeting.

That afternoon, a bouquet of flowers arrived with a cup of hot cocoa, still warm to the touch.

The card reminded me to rest on time and not to get so busy that I forgot to eat.

I took a picture of the flowers and hot cocoa and posted it on Instagram with just one line.

[Nice to have someone looking out for me.]

I never expected Lucas to actually comment for once.

[Stop making stuff up online. And don't go hinting the flowers are from me.]

So in his eyes, even someone else caring about me was just another trick to get close to him.

I didn't reply. I put my phone away and went back to work.

After I finished up, I waited outside for my car.

A familiar black Bentley suddenly pulled up in front of me.

The window rolled down, and Lucas's impatient face appeared.

"Get in."

I stayed where I was. "I already called a car."

"Wasn't asking."

He was as forceful as ever, as if the moment he spoke, I was supposed to obey.

I had no choice but to text the driver who was supposed to pick me up and tell him to go home.

Out of habit, I took two steps toward the passenger seat. Then Lucas's glance stopped me cold.

Only then did I remember. That seat didn't belong to me anymore.

So I quietly opened the back door and got in.

The car pulled away from the block.

Lucas was clearly in a terrible mood. He floored the gas without mercy, and the streetlights flew past outside.

He didn't pull out a cigarette until we hit a red light.

He had just lit it when his eyes drifted to my stomach.

He was quiet for a moment. Then he put the cigarette out.

"Get rid of it."

"About that night. I'll make it right."

"Money. A house. Whatever you want. We can talk."

"But I'm not raising some kid when nobody even knows who the father is. And I'm sure as hell not dragging it into the Romano family."

It felt like a hand had squeezed my heart hard. Even breathing was difficult.

"You make it sound like I forced you."

My voice was quiet, but I didn't back down.

"I don't want your money. I don't need you to step up. It's not yours."

Lucas swore under his breath and slammed his hand on the horn.

The cars ahead swerved out of the way in alarm. He didn't even blink.

"Still sticking with that story?"

He looked at me in the rearview mirror, mockery all over his face.

"Go ahead. Show me the guy who'd sign up for you and that kid. I'd love to meet him."

I didn't argue.

The window reflected a tired, pale face.

Looking at myself in the glass, I suddenly remembered things from many years ago.

Ever since we were kids, Lucas had always been the one who stood out in any crowd.

He was tall, handsome, and at the top of his class. At family gatherings, even the capos and old allies treated him like the next Don.

At sit-downs with rival crews, he always knew what to say. No one dared talk over him.

And I was always standing behind him, wearing thick black-framed glasses.

I had to practice in my head before I could say even one more sentence to him.

The girls who liked him would put together careful gifts and find every excuse to get him alone.

They even used to hand me their love letters and ask me to pass them along.

The first time I stood in the hallway holding one of those letters, my palms were soaked with sweat.

I was only doing a favor, but I stared at that envelope for a long time, and a sourness rose in my chest that I didn't even want to admit to myself.

When I handed it to Lucas, he frowned and asked:

"What's this? Ivy, I don't like you. Don't get any ideas."

I hurried to explain that someone else had asked me to give it to him.

He was clearly relieved. He even made a point of adding:

"Oh. Good. You're like one of the guys to me, you know? Just so we're clear."

I smiled and nodded, and pretended those words hadn't hurt.

For the next three years, I still organized his notes, took care of the small things he never bothered with, and listened as he complained about feuding capos and family disputes.

I also watched one girl after another walk right up to him and say the words I had kept hidden for so long.

One afternoon, after riding lessons were over,

he walked over to me dripping with sweat and took the water bottle right out of my hand.

"Gimme a sip. I'm dying here."

For the first time, I turned red and said no.

"That's mine."

But Lucas only raised an eyebrow and grinned like it was obvious.

"Come on. Since when are we keeping score? When'd you get so stingy?"

Then he tipped his head back and drank.

I watched his throat move as he swallowed, and my ears slowly burned.

When he handed the bottle back, I didn't dare do anything but hug it to my chest.

When no one was looking, I secretly took a tiny sip.

And I was happy about it for the entire night.

Looking back now, I was ridiculously naive.

But it was from that day on that I finally admitted to myself that I had fallen for Lucas.

To look a little prettier, I started taking off my glasses and learning how to do makeup like the other girls.

The first time I tried doing my makeup, I put on so much dark eyeshadow that I looked like someone had punched me in both eyes.

When Lucas saw it, he burst out laughing without any mercy.

"Whoa. What happened to your eyes? You get into a fight or something?"

I hurried to wipe the makeup off my face and pretended I didn't care. But the moment I turned around, my eyes filled with tears.

Later, when it came time to apply for college, I had a chance to go to a better school. I gave it up just so I could stay in the same city as him.

Truth or dare at parties, drunken rambling, all of it became an excuse for me to secretly test the waters with him.

But all I ever got back was his cold shoulder, his rejection, and the knowing laughter of our friends.

The last time was three months ago, at the Romano family dinner.

That night, the Romano estate shone behind guarded gates. Capos and trusted allies had come from across the city for the dinner.

I had spent days picking out a gift for Lucas.

Halfway through dinner, I noticed something seemed off with him, so I went by myself to get some medicine from the family doctor.

When I came back to the private room with the medicine, I heard a burst of laughter from inside.

Someone said my name, and they sounded like they were making fun of me.