Chapter 4

The hospital room reeked of disinfectant, and the air felt so heavy it was hard to breathe.

Besides Bria lying in the bed, the room held the enrollment director from the repeat‑year school, a psychiatrist, and a handful of Logan’s friends.

Two documents sat neatly on the bedside table. One was a pledge to accompany a student through the repeat‑year program. The other was a voluntary withdrawal form for my college application.

They had come prepared to break me, and they had even brought an audience and witnesses to make sure it stayed that way.

The moment Bria saw me, her tears started falling.

She struggled up from the bed, did not bother putting on her shoes, and dropped to her knees in front of me.

"I know I was wrong. I should not have gone after Logan. But I am scared of repeating the year alone. Just sign the papers and stay with me for one year, please. If you do, I promise I will keep going. I will stay alive."

She wept with every ounce of helplessness she could muster. Yet I knew her too well.

The summer before junior year, our state’s top academic camp had one open spot, and our homeroom teacher nominated me.

Bria went home and cried all night. The next morning, Lorelai marched into the school and told the teacher that Bria felt emotionally fragile and could not handle the disappointment.

The spot went to Bria.

On her way out the door that day, she paused outside my room and said softly, "You are so talented. You will have plenty of chances later. Cannot you let me have this one?"

She believed, on some fundamental level, that anything I had should be handed to her. I was strong, which meant I did not need it.

The psychiatrist spoke up on cue. "The patient is showing severe depressive tendencies. If her sense of security is not met, there is a real risk of more extreme behavior."

Dad caught me off guard and snatched the phone out of my pocket.

"No recordings today."

He shoved it into his own pocket.

"Sign the papers and we can put this behind us."

I looked at my empty hand, then at Bria kneeling on the floor.

"What would you call this, exactly? Unlawful detention? Extortion?"

Logan stepped forward and shielded Bria behind him. His eyes held disappointment and anger.

"Do you actually want to drive her to kill herself? She is on her knees in front of you. How cold‑blooded can you be?"

It was the first time he had ever raised his voice at me, and he did it for another girl.

After the last practice exam of senior year, I dropped to fifth in our grade.

I sat on the rooftop alone for a long time.

Logan found me up there. He did not say a word. He draped his jacket over my shoulders and sat beside me until the early hours of the morning.

He said, "No matter what happens, I am on your side. You are the most important person in my life."

The most important person in his life. That promise did not even last six months.

"Her life is not my responsibility."

I stepped past him and let my gaze sweep over the documents on the table.

"And my future is not her medicine."

I turned and walked toward the door.

"If that's how it is, I might as well just die!"

Bria screamed, scrambled up from the floor, and bolted out of the room as if she had lost her mind.

At the far end of the corridor stood the stairwell that led to the roof.

"Bria!"

Logan’s face drained of color, and he was the first to give chase. The room erupted into chaos as everyone rushed after her.

Dad shoved me hard from behind. "Get out there and bring her back!"

The wind on the rooftop was fierce, strong enough to force my eyes shut.

Bria had already climbed over the waist‑high railing and stood on the narrow concrete ledge at the very edge. She pointed at me, her screams torn apart by the wind.

"She is the one who pushed me to this! She wants to watch me die!"

Logan was out in front, trying to inch closer to her. "Bria, do not do anything rash. I promise I will stay with you. Always."

The crowd surged forward, and I was jostled to the very front, barely a step from the railing.

The instant Logan reached out to grab Bria, she whipped her hand back and seized my sleeve.

She leaned in close and whispered in a voice only the two of us could hear.

"If you do not sign, we both go over."

In the next second, she threw herself backward. The force of it dragged my entire body toward the railing.

Logan reacted fast. He caught Bria around the waist and wrenched her back to safety. Yet the momentum had already carried me over. Half my body hung past the railing.

Wind rushed up from the ground below and tore the application confirmation receipt from my pocket. It spiraled into the open air.

Logan held Bria tight against him. He still shook as he turned around in a panic.

All he saw was my fingertips sliding, inch by inch, down the rough edge of the concrete.