CHAPTER 3: BROKEN AND PREGNANT

Zoey's Pov

This past few weeks has been really stressful for me, both physically and mentally. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind, and my life is a mess. Heartbreak is really the worst, I give salutes to all those women out there who had dealt with countless heartbreaks.

Julian kept calling me, wanting to sort things out. But I ignored all his calls, and texts. One day he showed up at my doorstep, I gave him an earful and it gave me the courage to throw his engagement ring to his face, and called off our relationship for good.

I felt more broken on that day, but Emma comforted me and told me what I did was the best thing. Along with dealing with my heartbreak, I think I've fallen really sick. I've been feeling extremely tired these days, even when I don't stress much at work.

I do have regular stomach cramps, thinking it could be my monthly flow but it's not. I find myself feeling so dizzy every now and then, and I happen to be sleeping a lot these days. And I do throw up on everything I ate. This I find strange, but I think it's the side effects of my heartbreak.

***

"So how is the investment with your new investors going?" I asked Emma, who happens to be busy with her laptop.

I came out of the kitchen with some toast bread, scrambled eggs, black coffee and a glass of milk. I have also been eating quite a lot too. Part of

the side effects of heartbreak.

"It's going on well. We will be having a meeting with them by next week." Emma said, looking up from her laptop to glance at me.

I saw her giving me a horror look, I know it's because of the food in front of me.

"Are you going to eat all of that?" Emma asked, giving me those - you can't be serious kinda look.

"What? Blame my stomach, it's as if it can never get satisfied no matter how many times I feed it." I said with a pout.

"You are eating way too much these days like a pregnant woman, which is so unlike you." Emma said, looking down at her laptop.

"Are you saying I'm pregnant?" I asked, feeling strange about being pregnant.

It's second to impossible.

"Maybe. You are a doctor Zoey, so you can be able to detect if you're pregnant or not." Emma said with a smirk, sparing a glance at me before focusing on her laptop.

"Crazy." I mumbled under my breath.

"I heard that." Emma said, her gaze still on her laptop.

I rolled my eyes. But on a second thought, I've been behaving more like a pregnant woman than someone who is heartbroken.

Could Emma be right?

Am I pregnant?

No!

That's impossible, I only got intimate with Julian at the end of last year and

it's been six months now.

So how can I be pregnant?

Well, there is only one way to find out if I'm truly pregnant.

***

I stared at the pregnancy strip in my hand in horror. It shows positive, and this is the tenth strip I'm trying this on.

How can it be possible?

How can I be pregnant?

Knock!

Knock!

I jumped out of my thoughts when the knocking on my bathroom door came. It must be Emma, she has seen the past nine ones were positive. So I told her let's try for the tenth time, just to be sure.

I opened the door and walked out, I don't know how I was looking but I know I looked terrified.

"What does it say?" Emma asked, curious.

I gave her the strip instead, cause I don't have the mouth or strength to tell her that I am indeed pregnant.

"Oh my, Zoey. You are really pregnant." Emma said, in shock.

I sat down on my bed. That means, those symptoms are not of heartbreak but of pregnancy. Which means, I'm two weeks gone if that is so.

"How can this be, Zoey? You told me you were only intimate with Julian once, and that was late last year. So how are you pregnant." Emma asked, sitting next to me.

I can't explain it either, plus I took some contraceptives after that night with Julian. So how am I pregnant? Is this a miracle or what?

"I don't know either, Emma. I don't understand." I said, getting frustrated.

"Wait Zoey, did you take any contraceptives after that night you got intimate with a man at the club house?" Emma asked, making my head click.

I looked at Emma in horror, I totally forgot to take any contraceptives after that night. Which means, I am pregnant for a total stranger.

"You did right?" Emma asked again, waiting for an answer.

I shut my eyes in frustration.

"I didn't take it, I forgot." I said, burying my face in my hands.

"What? How could you make such a mistake like this? Do you know what this means?" Emma said, making me more frustrated.

"I do, okay? I do!" I half yelled, getting up from my bed and running my hands through my hair.

Why this?

Why now?

After dealing with a heartbreak, this happens. Making my life more miserable.

"What are we going to do about this now?" Emma asked, and honestly I don't know.

"I don't know Emma, but all I know is that I'm losing my mind right now to think straight. I need some time alone to think about what to do." I said, jumping into bed and lying down.

Emma touched my feet under the duvet, before standing up and leaving the room after turning off the lights. I opened my eyes when I heard the door shut.

I wish closing my eyes could help me escape from how messed up my life is right now. What do I do about this pregnancy which is already two weeks gone.

Dear lord, what do I do?

Why put me in such a tight spot?

Isn't my life not already a mess?

Why make it more complicated?

***

"So what do you plan on doing with the pregnancy?" Emma asked, taking a gulp of her smoothie.

We are sitting in a cafe during our work break hours, I stared down at the smoothie in front of me. I've been thinking about what to do with this baby, and the best way to handle my life from becoming complicated.

"Abortion." I said, still gazing down at my smoothie.

"What?" Emma half yelled which got the attention of a few people around us.

"Don't yell, Emma." I said, I know it's shocking but I have no choice.

"I wouldn't be yelling if your reply was more comforting." Emma whispered to me.

"What do you think I should do? Let my life be more complicated?" I asked, feeling pissed.

"No, but killing an innocent baby is wrong and you know that as a doctor who counseled people on how bad abortion is." Emma said, I know she's pissed about my decision.

"I know Emma, believe me when I say I have thought this through. And the only available option is removing this child, and saving this baby from being called a bastard by society. Or growing up without his father." I tried explaining things to Emma.

"Well this decision of yours is bad, and I'm not in support of it. Keep this baby Zoey."

"Keep the baby? What will I tell my mom about it? That I'm carrying a baby of a stranger? What would society say about me? Believe me Emma, if I had a choice I would keep this baby. But I don't." I tried explaining things to Emma so she'd understand my own point of view.

"Whatever you say as a reason to kill this baby is invalid, and I won't let it happen." Emma said, still not getting me.

"I'm not killing the baby, I'm saving the child." I said still trying to convince her of my decision, but it seems like I'm trying to convince myself of this.

"Zoey, just relax and think this through again. Then tell me when you've come up with a much better decision." Emma said, getting up and leaving.

I let out a sad stressed sigh, I buried my face in my hands. It feels like I'm being suffocated about this whole thing.

***

Third person Pov

Fading into a cold evening, Emma drove home, parking her car in front of her house. She came down with some shopping bags, she did some shopping for her business trip this coming week.

She made her way into the house, using her spare key. She came in, but there was no sign of Zoey. She made her way to her room. Dropping her handbag and shopping bag, she came out.

She wanted to see Zoey at least, to inform her that she is home and to know what they were having for dinner because she's starving. She opened the door of Zoey's room, but frowned when she didn't see Zoey.

"Zoey? Zoey?" Emma called, but no response.

"Zoey?" She called out again, making her way to the bathroom attached to the room.

Emma stared in horror at Zoey lying on the floor, unconscious. Emma rushed to Zoey, she lifted Zoey's head on her laps.

"Zoey? Zoey?" Emma called out, slapping her face lightly but she didn't open her eyes.

Emma became more panicked, wondering why her friend was in such a state. Her eyes caught Zoey's legs, and she saw she's bleeding.

"Oh my, Zoey. What did you do?" Emma mumbled to herself.

She also saw a pack of contraceptives, and broken glass. Her eyes widened in shock when she knew what really happened.

"Why did you do this, Zoey?" Emma said, sadly.

She placed Zoey back to the floor, and rushed into her own room to get her phone from her handbag. She finally got her phone, and dialed a doctor's number.

"Hello doctor. Please, there is an emergency at my place. Please come as fast as you can, thank you." Emma said over the phone, before making her way back to Zoey's room to stay with her till the doctor arrives.

***

Zoey's Pov

I felt a sharp pain shoot through my head as I made an effort to open my eyes. I shut them again, after a while I managed to open them. I don't feel that pain in my abdomen anymore after I took those contraceptives.

I feel comfy underneath me, so I tried viewing my surroundings. I frown when I saw I was in my room, I recall blacking out in pain in the bathroom. So how did I end up here, on my bed?

I tried to move my head a little, there I spotted Emma. She seemed so engrossed in whatever she's doing with her phone. I tried sitting up, to let Emma know that I'm awake now.

"Zoey? No, lie down. You are still too weak to move." Emma said, standing up and helping me to lie down back.

She sat on the bed, trying not to meet my eyes. I think she knew what I did, and she's so upset that she doesn't want to look at me.

"Emma.."

"What were you thinking, Zoey?" She half yelled, looking at me now.

I could see the rage in her eyes, I looked away. I really don't have the courage to look at her, I know what I did was wrong. But it's the only decision that is right for me and the unborn baby.

"I only did what was right." I said, trying to justify my actions.

"By wanting to end your life and that of an innocent baby?" Emma half yelled.

"You talk as if I had any options!" I yelled back.

Seriously, I'm starting to feel guilty about her words.

"Yes you did! Keeping the child and ignoring whatever the world will say." She said,

Maybe she's right, maybe I should raise the child and not think of what the world would say. But it's late now, I don't have the baby anymore.

"It's late now, the baby's gone." I said, trying to swallow the lump that happens to be in my throat.

"The baby isn't gone." Emma said, I stared at her in shock.

The baby isn't gone?

I slowly traced my hand on my stomach, like I wanted to feel the baby to be sure she's saying the truth.

"The doctor saved you and the baby, see this a sign from the universe saying you should keep this baby." Emma said, making me feel so emotional now.

"Think more of being a mother and facing your upcoming responsibilities, than thinking of ways to kill that innocent life growing inside of you." Emma stated, walking out of the room.

I feel like a monster right now. I wanted to kill my child, I wanted to end the life of an innocent baby.

What kind of a mother am I?

My emotions got the best of me, and I broke down in tears. Hugging my stomach, hugging my baby.

"I'm sorry for being such a terrible mother. I wanted to end your life before it could even begin, sorry." I said to my baby, crying even more.