Chapter 1 Stranger Chat

CHAPTER 1

Monday, 2:00 pm in

Albania time zone.

A good-looking long-haired man who is almost 6 feet and 2 inches in height; has brown eyes; a white skin complexion and a semi-muscular body built wearing a black business suit that gives him a dignified look is walking down the stairs heading towards his expensive brand new car.

His appearance reveals that he belongs to a rich family. He is a young billionaire. His face displays a strong self- confidence. He is admirable.

Before he reached his car his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and read the message.

“...“ In his messenger he reads only dots. His eyebrows formed in one line. He is trying to recall who the message sender is.

“ What is the missing link? I don’t remember what I sent her , maybe it was just an inquiry about my post on social media which at present I’m no longer connected to. “ He thought. Then he decided to reply.

“You might have inquired about my post. Maybe and that was years ago” he replied.

“Sorry but I don’t remember your post, what is that all about?“ the sender replied.

“No worries, I don’t remember either. But most of my posts are just about business .“ he replied.

“Okay. Where are you from?“ the sender asked.

“I’m from Albania.“ he said.

“Sorry, I’m not familiar“ the sender replied.

“It is in Europe,“ he replied.

“Okay.“ the sender replied.

“How about you? Where are you from?“ asked the man.

He got inside his car while waiting for the reply. But a few minutes had passed. Still no answer.He decided to drive because his clients are waiting for him at the nearby establishment. He will conduct a business meeting.

On the other side of the world, In the country where the sender resides it is already 9:00 pm in the evening.

They have different time zones.

The message sender felt sleepy and decided not to reply. That’s why the man got no reply from her.

The message sender is a woman. A woman who is the same age as him. She decided not to reply when she read the man’s country name. Because in her mind there are flashes of memories which she cannot explain. She felt that she’s been there in that country before, but she knew it was not. That is too impossible to happen. She doesn’t even go out of her country to travel to other countries.

She decided to open the profile of the man. When she saw his photos, he looked familiar and she didn’t understand why because she didn’t remember that he met that man before.

Suddenly, because of those thoughts she got a headache. She decided to get some sleep to ignore her thoughts about the man.

“Those things are impossible.“ She is talking to herself.

It’s not so surprising that she behaves like that because she has a psychological disorder which is called personality disorder.

A personality disorder that affects the way of her thinking about herself and others. Her way of responding emotionally, her way of relating to other people, and her way of controlling her behavior.

She has the so-called Borderline Personality Disorder. She experiences trouble in regulating her emotions effectively. She experiences splitting, so she sees things as all good or all bad. Frequently she sees things in black and white terms. It means that she sees things and people as either all good or all bad. She doesn’t believe that good people can be bad sometimes or can make mistakes, which leads her to becoming consumed with anger toward people. For her things, experiences, and people were either all bad or all good, totally wonderful or totally worthless, completely positive or completely negative.

Splitting is her coping mechanism that helps her to avoid getting hurt. It allows her to discard things and people she has decided are all bad.

Splitting is her unconscious attempt to safeguard her ego and prevent to experience anxiety. A defense mechanism she developed because she has experienced early life traumas, such as abandonment. She is often terrified that others will leave her. She has an intense fear of abandonment. However, she can also shift suddenly to feeling fearful in intimacy, which leads her to withdraw from relationships. The result is a constant back-and-forth between demands for love or attention and sudden withdrawal or isolation. She has a tendency to withdraw from close emotional contact from a relationship partner. As a result even if she did stumble across her ideal partner, she wouldn’t choose him.She is after one thing, and that is to avoid being hurt.

Most of her romantic relationships end in a breakup. She often has rocky relationships, both romantic and platonic. Because she experiences constant changes in her emotions. For her everything feels unstable: relationships, moods, thinking, and behavior—even identity.

Even her self-image, goals, likes and dislikes may change frequently in ways that feel confusing and unclear. Like she doesn’t know who she is, and her perception of her own identity varies widely over time. She experiences trouble seeing her past self, present self, and future self as one. She changes who she is depending on her circumstances and what she thinks others want from her. Her thoughts and feelings change to match her current situation. And sometimes she has experienced mild forms of dissociation from time to time. The experiences that go along with dissociation, includes amnesia.

She has a temporary amnesia that lasts longer. She establishes a new identity in a new location very different from her old life. She is unable to recall specific information about herself due to a traumatic event and stressful situation that she experienced in the past.

So maybe or maybe not the man is part of her past but she cannot recall who he is, how they met and where the specific place is. She can hardly recall the details.

But maybe there will be a chance that she will remember her past for her amnesia is temporary.

******

And then she falls asleep with those thoughts in her head, about the man that resulted in a nightmare.

The message sender sees these scenes in her nightmare;

Somewhere,

Way back in the year 2004….

It was late in the afternoon. The weather was bitterly cold because it’s winter. A poor 10 year old boy was wandering around in the cold streets. He was barefoot. He was standing on the corner of a very busy street. He looked so hungry. He was trembling with cold because he was just wearing thin clothes.

The snowflakes fell upon his long dark hair which he keeps on a bun but some strands fell on his face. He is a good-looking boy even though he is thin.

For he was hungry and felt so cold he tried to draw attention and beg.

“Alms! Alms! Spare me your mercy!“

Because people were just passing by and no one looked at him. No one stopped to give him anything he decided to cross the street. He gets near the expensive car which is parked in front of the large boutique in the city. He knocked on the car window to ask the owner for some food or a small amount of money so that he could buy food.

“Knock! Knock! Knock!“ He knocked on the car window. The car window opened. There was a very beautiful woman sitting inside the car.

“ What is it dear?“ The woman asked and frowned.

“Can I ask for some food Madam?“ He said in a shy manner. He can’t look into the woman while begging for food because he feels totally shy but he needs to ask before he dies of hunger.

“Oh no! Go away! I have nothing to give you!“ The woman said in annoyance.

“Alright, Madam.“ The poor boy said while he walked away from the car.

He is now standing on the roadside. His thin hands were almost dead with cold. He sat down on the roadside, he felt colder than before.

He looked so hungry. Because he could bear no more he stood up and walked towards the trash can in front of a fastfood restaurant. He tried to search for food from the garbage.

He found a plastic bag which contained food thrown away by some people who passed by. He sat on the street and started eating the food he got from the trash can.

On the other hand there was a girl who was standing in front of a fast food building.

Her appearance showed that she is the same age as the boy. The girl has long dark brown hair. She is a tall and slim girl with white skin complexion. She is pretty.

She has been watching the poor boy since she arrived in front of the fast food. She walked nearby him and sat beside him,

The boy was nervous and felt shy.

“What do you want?“ He asked.

“Nothing. Are you hungry?” She answered and asked the boy.

“Yes!” the boy answered with downcast eyes. He felt ashamed because of her presence. He stopped eating the food that he got from the garbage because he felt shy towards the girl.

The girl stood up. She entered the fast food building and ordered some food that she would give to the boy while still watching the poor boy who seemed so hungry and colder than before.

The boy’s heart beat so fast when the girl gave him the food that she ordered from the fast food. He is hesitant to take the food because he is worried about the bill.

“I have no money to pay for that,” he said to the girl.

“You don’t have to pay for this. It’s yours.” The girl said and smiled at him.

“Thank you,” he said. His thin hands are trembling when he holds the food handed to him by the girl.

The boy started to eat the food while they walked down the snowy street. He ate the food immediately because he saw a gang of street children on the other side of the street looking at him. He knew they would snatched the food at him like they always did whenever someone gave him food.

The girl was about to cross on the other side of the street. But the boy called her and asked. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going home. Maybe Aunt Alma is looking for me now. She will get angry if I go home late because I am assigned to do their household chores.“ The girl answered but it seems like she is talking to herself, not to the little boy. The fear suddenly seemed crossed in her beautiful face.

She started to walk fast while the poor boy followed her when she crossed the street.

“Wait! What is your name?” The boy asked her.

“I’m Xhesika.” She said without looking at the boy who followed her.

She is walking towards a bus station. She walked as fast as she could. The boy almost left behind. The boy almost ran just to catch her.

When she reached the bus station, she turned around before she got to the bus. She saw the boy still following but when he saw that Xhesika was about to ride on a bus he stopped at a distance. He felt sad so Xhesika found herself walking back to the boy and made a promise.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be back some other time to see you. Wait for me in front of that fast food where we buy food.“ She said and smiled at the boy.

“Okay. I’ll wait for you but when will you come back.” The boy promised to her and asked

“At the same time. On the same day of the week.“

“Seriously?“ The boy asked gladly.

“Yeah.“ Xhesika said

“Alright.“ The boy said.

Then they walked in separate ways.

Xhesika rides on the bus while the poor boy still wanders out on the street.

Then when the evening came the poor boy temporarily sheltered himself on a footbridge.

While Xhesika arrived at her Aunt’s house, who is always cruel to her, she knocked at the front door.

A beautiful middle aged woman opened the door. She is her Aunt Alma. And when she saw Xhesica, anger crossed her face.

“Where have you been, Xhesika?!!” her Aunt shouted in an angry voice. And she slapped Xhesika’s pretty face. Xhesika cannot answer back because she’s trembling in fear.

Then her Aunt Alma shouted again.” Wash all the dirty clothes of your cousins and cook their dinner!!”

Xhesika drew back and rushed to the laundry area. She began washing her cousin’s clothes. While she was washing the clothes she was drowning in tears. And now she cannot breathe because of the emotional pain she felt inside.

Xhesika remembered when, how and why she was here in her Aunt Alma’s house. She was abandoned by her parents when she was small. She was left in the house of her father’s cousin Alma. She remembered when she was begging to her father not to leave her in this house.

Xhesika’s parents got divorced when she was two years old. Her parents left her to her grandparents on father ’s side.

But all of the sudden her grandparents died in a car accident when she was eight years old. So Xhesika felt abandoned for the second time around.

Leaving her father no choice, he took Xhesika with him again. But that time her father will be about to get married again. His new fiancée didn’t agree that Xhesika will live with them. Her father had no choice but to leave her in the house of his father’s cousin, Alma.

Xhesika’s mother also had a new family. She also couldn’t take Xhesika to her new house because her new husband didn’t allow her to bring Xhesika with them. Xhesika felt abandoned again...

Old alarm clock: riiiiing, riiiiing, riiiiing, riiiiing,

The message sender wakes up from her deep sleep because of the alarm clock in her room. It’s already morning, time to go to work again.

At the back of her mind she is aware that she had a long dream last night and she feels that she cried on her dream but she cannot recall what that dream is all about.

Because it’s time for her to go to work she just ignores her thoughts. She got a towel and took a shower. In just a few minutes she was ready to go to work.

She grabbed her wallet and her phone and rushed outside the apartment to catch the company’s shuttle service.

******

On the other hand, in Albania, It’s already evening. The rich man arrived at their mansion. He is sitting now in the living room together with his family.

While they are in the living room his grandfather discusses the new business of the family that he was planning to put up.

It’s quite noticeable that the man keeps on checking his phone. His grandfather noticed that he was not paying attention to what he was discussing.

“Zamir, what is that? His grandfather called his attention.

Zamir lost grip on his phone because he was so surprised when his grandfather called his name. He almost dropped his phone on the floor but he was able to catch it before it fell on the floor.

His grandfather wondered why he behaved in that manner at this moment.