CHAPTER 30

His phone, which he had forgotten to charge, informed him that it was a little after twelve in the afternoon. He plugged the phone in on his nightstand and got dressed before heading downstairs.

Beth, Yuki and Tink were already sitting in the front room, and the goblin sprang to attention.

"Finally, husband up. Find out what's in box now?"

"Box?" Mike blinked, the events of last night slowly filtering through the haze of his dreams. "Oh, right. Yeah, I need to eat something first."

"Ugh." Tink rolled her eyes and picked up a sledgehammer she had set on the floor, then dragged it out of the room, moping the whole way. "Call Tink when open box!" she hollered before storming out the back door.

"She's in a mood," he commented.

"She got up early and has been watching the boxes with the rats." Beth arched an eyebrow. "Apparently she has a bad feeling about one of the boxes."

"The one that's moving?"

Beth and Yuki looked at each other.

"About that. The moving box isn't moving anymore." Yuki grinned at him, revealing a pair of sharp canines. "It broke free of the duct tape sometime last night."

"Oh shit, where is it?"

"It's... still in the dining room." Yuki stood up and Beth joined her. Beth was holding a few sheets of paper in her hands.

"What are those?" he asked.

"Guesses at what's in the boxes. We have a full inventory from the storage unit, so technically we know what it could be." She handed the sheets of paper over. "By eliminating what was sold off versus what wasn't, and crossing off what is too big to go in the box, the remaining list is what we could be looking at."

"Okay." Mike looked down the list. "You've only crossed off a few things."

Beth rolled her eyes. "I'm a lawyer, not a psychic. This missing stuff was a huge pain in my ass, and so much of it is still out there, and we have no idea what Unearthly Delights sold. So yes, I only crossed off a few things."

"Yeah, sorry." He ducked past her and walked into the dining hall. "So let's just go ahead and..."

Mike never finished his thought. The first thing he saw was that the rats had doubled in number, all of them holding miscellaneous weapons of some sort. The second thing he saw was that they were all looking up.

"Oh, fuck me." He lifted his gaze toward the box that now rested on his ceiling and promptly dropped the papers he was holding.

"Well, what do you think?" Beth scooped up the papers. "I know I'm curious."

"I think I'm going to need some coffee." He turned to look at her. "Please tell me that the list has an enchanted ceiling fan on it? Or maybe a chandelier? Something that belongs there?"

Yuki giggled. "C'mon, let's get some food in you and then open up that box."

"I... shit. What about research on the faerie queen?"

"Mike, you have a cardboard box on your ceiling." Beth put her hand on his shoulder. "Sofia is going through those books right now with Ratu in the study, so don't worry about it. Take care of whatever this is first."

"I knew it had been too quiet around here." Scowling, Mike moved into the kitchen and pulled a box of Eggos out from a secret location in the freezer and tossed a pair of them in the toaster. Coffee had already been made, so he poured himself a mug and drank a third of it before his Eggos popped up.

"Anything about our latest guest?" he asked Beth as he slathered butter on his breakfast.

"Oh, he's interesting. But nothing useful, so far anyway." Beth grinned. "I've been keeping an eye on him all morning. He's been busy chatting it up with the centaurs. They've been trying to figure out what's killing the bushes out front. Apparently the unique climate of the geas means that conventional knowledge no longer applies, and they're all fascinated. Sulyvahn is the talkative sort, it would seem."

"Hmm." Peanut butter went on top of the butter, and he slathered it all in syrup. Since he was in a hurry, he flipped one waffle on top of the other to make a sandwich out of it.

"I don't know how you can eat that," Beth commented. "Too many carbs all at once."

He shrugged and took a big bite, savoring the taste of melted butter mixed with peanut butter. Mike still felt oddly strung out by his bad dreams, and having a mysterious box on his ceiling officially had him on edge. Still, putting some food in his belly was already helping.

Why now, though? he wondered. The last month had been peaceful, but things were suddenly happening all at once, and he half expected a giant to stomp its way into his front yard and take a huge shit on his house while Tink tried to smash its toes in with her hammer. He pictured the little goblin running back and forth, swinging her club and spitting out a symphony of swears before climbing up the giant's leg hairs and biting it on the nuts.

He choked on his Eggo.

Yuki smacked him on the back, and he coughed it back up, then chewed it better before swallowing. "Thanks."

"Itashimashite."

"Beg pardon?"

"She said you're welcome." Beth poured herself a cup of coffee.

"You speak Japanese?"

"I speak context." Beth smirked. "Still not a psychic. Just a lawyer."

"And a damn good one, probably." When Beth frowned, he put his hands up in self-defense. "No, I just meant that I haven't really used you in a regular lawyer kind of way. Other than signing some paperwork and preventing magical home invasions, I have no idea how good you are at actual litigation-type stuff."

"A fair observation. I'll let you off just this once, counselor." She smiled and took a sip of her coffee.

Mike shoved another bite of Eggo in his mouth, chewed carefully, then swallowed and turned to Yuki. "Why aren't you working on your tarot cards?"

"You have a box on your ceiling."

"You're curious about what's inside, aren't you?"