CHAPTER 28

"Try to look impressed or something. We should send these to Romeo later and try to squeeze a laugh out of him."

"You're incorrigible," Beth told her, but made her best surprised face with one hand just over her mouth.

"I'll look that word up later," Lily told her, then snapped a few. Death walked in as the pictures were being taken, only to do an immediate U-turn out of the office.

Beth and Lily laughed. Mike's features melted away so that Lily looked like herself. "You looked like you could use a laugh."

"I did. Nerves, I guess."

"Nah, it's not just that." Lily leaned back in her chair. "You're the head honcho now, the man of the house. You've got responsibilities to meet, and you're hoping to avoid what happened last time. Which, by the way, totally not your fault."

Beth shook her head. "This isn't a confidence thing. The house just feels surprisingly empty is all. If something goes down, are there enough people to help?"

"Hmm. The way I see it, the king has left the castle." Lily leaned forward in her chair with a smirk on her face. "But remember that the queen is the one with all the moves. It's been quiet for months, and if anyone is watching, we just have to confuse them until he gets back."

"I guess." Beth leaned back in her own chair as Death reappeared in the door.

"My apologies for the earlier intrusion," he said, then set a cup of tea in front of Beth. "You seemed to be rather busy."

"We're just setting up a prank for Mike," Lily explained.

At the word prank, the fire in Death's sockets blazed.

"Oh, I do enjoy a good prank! Please let me know if there's anything I may do to assist you!" He put his bony hands together and tapped his fingertips excitedly.

"Er, yeah, no problem." Beth took the tea and sipped it. "Thank you."

However, when no discussion about a prank was immediately forthcoming, Death excused himself, leaving Beth alone with Lily.

"So are you gonna ask?" Lily said after a few minutes of silence.

"About?" Beth had zoned out, her thoughts on the others. She now wondered if Lily had been talking.

"Your woman problems."

Beth felt heat flood her face and she tried to hide behind her teacup, but only succeeded in spilling some of it on herself.

"Don't try to deny it. You look like a woman who spent all day on horseback." Lily leaned back in her chair far enough to hump the air for emphasis. "Big difference between well fucked and fucked up."

"How could you tell?" Beth asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"It's in the way you sit."

"I see." She really hoped that Lily was far more observant than the others. It was an embarrassing topic of conversation in the best of times and she didn't want the whole house knowing about her issue. She went to sip some of her tea, wondering how much to tell the succubus.

"If I had to wager a guess, it's that our resident size queen has finally stretched herself too thin."

The comment had been deliberately timed, and Beth spit her tea out and coughed.

Lily laughed, a satisfied look plastered on her face. "Ah, that was worth it. I'm right, though, aren't I? You're all fucked out."

Beth wiped the tea off her chin and frowned. "Lily. Keep your voice down," she muttered.

The succubus shrugged. "I mean, if you don't wanna talk about it and continue to be a party to sexual repression—"

"LILY." Beth mimed a lock and key over her mouth. "I'll talk, but shut the fuck up."

A literal tiny padlock appeared through Lily's lips, holding her lips together like a macabre piercing.

"Your theatrics aside, yes, I'm having some trouble downstairs." She detailed her gynecological issues with the succubus, not expecting her to be of any real help. It was at least nice to have someone to confide in.

Once Beth was finished, Lily pulled a key out from between her breasts and unlocked the padlock.

"Sounds rough," she said. "Can't say I have the same issue, for obvious reasons. I'm surprised you haven't talked about this with the nymph yet."

"Frankly, I didn't want to talk about it with anybody."

"Naia isn't just a water fountain with benefits. I bet she could give you all sorts of tips and tricks, but that's besides the point. She's also a natural healer. She was practically the only thing holding Romeo together for the first month or so."

"But how do you heal..." It suddenly occurred to her that it didn't matter, and she felt dumb for not thinking about it before. With Mike gone, she could use Naia's tub in private.

"Go ahead," Lily said, waving toward the door. "Don't sit on a sore cooch just to keep me company."

"Thanks." Beth was almost to the door when she noticed Kisa sitting in the corner.

Oh God. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to tell Lily that incorrigible means that she'll never improve her behavior." The grin on Kisa's face made Beth think of the Cheshire cat. "I'm supposed to stick by her side, remember?"

Lily laughed. "This little black cat is starting to grow on me."

Mortified, Beth ran up the stairs to Mike's bedroom. Once the door was closed, she walked into his bathroom. The tub inside was several feet across and could easily fit a few people.

"Naia?" she asked.

"Beth." The faucet turned on, and the tub filled a few inches. Naia's head emerged from the water, though emerged wasn't quite right. The nymph herself was made of water, so it created the illusion that the tub was magically five feet deeper. "Do you need something?"