Kabanata 4

Kabanata 4: Maling Akala

As soon as we're done boating, I immediately took off Caio's shirt and gave it back to him. Hindi ko na gusto ang sama ng tingin ni Emerald na pakiramdam ko'y may balak akong lunurin sa dagat.

I could already feel my skin a bit painful because of the slight burn. The parts of my skin that were left uncovered turned red and pinkish.

"Are you sure you won't need this?" Cai asked, looking a bit hesitant to take his shirt from me.

Tinulak ko ang kamay kong may hawak ng tshirt niya para kunin na niya ito. Biglang dumating si Emerald sa gilid niya habang hindi pa kami tapos sa pag-uusap. Kaagad niyang hinawakan ang braso ni Caio.

"C'mon, Cai. I've been waiting..." malambing na sabi nito kay Caio.

Naibaba ko ang braso ko sa pangangawit dahil hindi agad nakuha ni Caio ang kanyang tshirt. I sighed.

"Ipapatong ko nalang ba sa kubo?" Tanong ko.

Emerald stopped flirting. She's obviously annoyed and interrupted.

"Cai, halikana." This time, she interrupted Caio who was about to speak.

Caio gently took his arm away from Emerald.

I felt a weird and awkward moment there. Para bang ako ang nahiya para kay Emerald.

"Ilalagay ko nalang sa kubo," sabi ko kasabay ng mabilisang pagtalikod.

Good thing, I chose to stay away from that sickening sight. I don't know if I'd call them a 'corny' couple. But something is not right, that's what I'm sure of.

Is it really true na wala talaga siyang girlfriend? Kasi parang ang one-sided ng relasyon nila kung pagmamasdan mo.

Ayokong maniwala kay Caio nang sinabi niya na wala soyang girlfriend kasi unang kita ko palang sa kanila, parang may relasyon sila. But as I've been observing them since they've been with me for a short moment today, I could feel that it's more like a friendship between them and not any intimate relationship. My goodness, Latti! Hindi ka pa ba nasanay sa States na puros mag-fubu lang? Friends with benefits? Flings?

I thought he was just denying things because he's trying to hit on me. Yeah, silly thoughts.

Sino ba namang hindi mag-aakalang may gusto siya sa'yo kung napakaelamero niya habang di pa kayo close?

"Lulubog na ang araw maya-maya. Hanggang dumilim ba sasali ka?" Biglang may nagsalita mula sa likuran ko.

Napalingon kaagad ako at nagtama ang aming mga paningin. Nagdalawang isip ako kung pupulutin ko ulit ang damit niya sa kubo at iabot sa kanyo o hintayin nalang siyang kunin iyon.

"Sure naman. I came for the sunset," sabi ko. Sa huli, kinuha ko na lamang ang tshirt niya at inabot ito sa kanya.

"Thank you for that," sabi ko saka umayos ng tayo.

The vibe between us felt awkward yet at the same time giving me a new unexplained feeling. Parang gusto kong umalis, parang gusto ko ring magsalita pa para mabawasan ang pagkailang, pero mas nangingibabaw ang gusto kong tumahimik lang habang magkaharap kami.

Nakakapanibago. This isn't the first time I talked to someone like we're already close before even though we just met. I've made a lot of friends even faster than this back in the US. I cannot even tell if we're friends already or not. Some seconds I hate him, some seconds I don't.

For a moment, I felt my knees trembling upon realizing how attractive his light-honey-colored eyes were. It feels bewitching; like staring at a rising orange sun that doesn't blinds you with its brightness but rather pulling your soul closer. I gulped.

There is nothing with his eyes. That's what I'm sure of.

His brows raised and he looked at me with an amused face. Kaagad akong tila bumalik sa katinuan at inismiran siya.

"What's funny?" Supladang tanong ko at kaagad tumalikod sa kanya.

I felt my cheeks get hotter because of a weird feeling of embarrassment. Gusto ko ulit mainis sa kanya. He must be blamed for this. If he's not being flirty, I won't get attracted.

Nauna na lamang akong naglakad at dumiretso kay Kuya. Gusto kong mainis kay kuya dahil parang binubuhos niya ang atensyon sa babae niya. Hindi naman ako sigurado kung nagseseryoso ba siya sa babaeng iyon. If I'm not mistaken, the girl's name was Ingrid.

Nakaupo na silang lahat sa tabing dagat kung saan maraming maliliit na bato. The sun is getting on its way to set. I sat beside Kuya Nico and was immediately followed by Caio. Rocco shifted to give space for him beside me. I almost rolled my eyes.

"Wag masyadong solohin si Latti, Cai. She might not sleep well later," kaagad na tukso na Kuya. Mabilis ko siyang nahampas sa balikat sa inis.

They all laughed. Walang nakakatawa. I cannot relate to their stupid sense of humor. These other three girls seem to not be taking it as a joke too. Rather, they looked pissed.

"And what do you mean by that? Hindi naman ganyan 'yung type ni Cai. We all know that, Emerald's brow raises as she speaks.

"Right. Ito kasing si Nico. Gusto lang maging bro-in-law si Cai..." Anabelle added in an amused tone. I don't think she meant it as a joke or just to ease the awkward atmosphere.

I bit my lip. Pakiramdam ko, gusto akong pagkaisahan ng mga babaeng kaibigan ni Kuya. Of all the people here, of all the nice-looking folks here, bakit ito pa ang mga kaibigan niya? Are they really friends or are these girls just tailing them for other reasons?

"You're making Latisha uncomfortable," Valdemar finally said.

"Hindi 'no. Just clarifying things. Besides, hindi naman nanliligaw si Caio..." Emy defends herself.

"Right. Tapos, alam niyo naman. Kaming mga babae, mabilis kaming mag-assume—"

"Excuse me?" Hindi ko na napigilan pa ang sarili kong magsalita. Bahagya pa akong napatawa.

"I'm not like any of you girls. I don't assume things that fast just because of a stupid conclusion. Hindi ko type si Caio so why would you girls worry? If I would assume, siguro normal nalang 'yon. I know I'm a head-turner. I'm used to flirty boys."

I felt my intestines screaming and cheering me up. Hindi naman talaga ako papayag na magiging talunan lang. I'm no goodgirl.

Umismid si Emerald. Parang may gusto pa sanang sabihin kaso mukhang nagpipigil ng sarili. That's good. Ayaw kong makipagtalo.

"Can't we stop the ship or like the panunukso? We're supposed to be enjoying. Don't we have drinks?" Sabi ko na lamang.

"Yeah... in-denial stage, Latti..."

Tiningnan ko nang masama si Kuya. Ayaw talaga nitong tumigil. Nahahalata namna siguro niya na naiinis na ang mga babaeng kaibigan niya sa akin.

I'm wondering why his girlfriend is quiet. I'm sure she agrees with her friends. Siguro, ayaw lang niya ma turn-off si Kuya.

"Whatever, Nicolai. Ikaw nga moving-on stage palang rin..." I shot a brow at him.

He pressed his lips together. His male friends made a long "Oooh" to pester him. I laughed.

"Let's not talk about her," walang ganang sabi niya.

I shrugged. Tumayo si Caio.

"I'll get the drinks," aniya, tila nawawalan na rin ng gana sabay lakad palayo.

"Tulong ako," Emy said and tailed him.

The corner of my lips rose as the two of them walked away.

Just then, Anabelle rushed to follow her. Hindi rin sila nagtagal at bumalik agad.

"Boys, Cai asked for your help," ani Emerald habang malapad ang ngisi.

"Dito kalang, Lath?" Kuya asked before leaving with his friends.

"Hmm. Yeah," tipid na sagot ko.

The breeze starts to get colder as the sun prepares for its beautiful setting. I hugged both of my knees as I sat on the sand beneath a thin towel. I prepped my chin on my knees.

I am not alone here but I feel like I am. I can feel their stares on me, judging me. It's not making me feel awful, just a bit uncomfortable. Unang una sa lahat, wala naman akong ginawang pag-atake sa kanila o ano para ipakita nila sa akin ang kanilang pagkadisgusto.

"P****k."

My brows knitted upon hearing Emerald as if she's pertaining to someone. They've been whispering lately but now, she spoke loudly.

Is she referring to me? Hindi ko alam ang salitang 'yon. Or maybe, it's just an expression?

"Tss. Can't believe she acts as if she isn't guilty." It's Emerald again.

Umayos na ako ng upo at doon na sinubukang lingunin sila.

Dang. They're all staring at me. Masama ang tingin ng tatlo sa akin habang ang isang laging nakabuntot kay Kuya ay tila umiiwas ng tingin.

Emerald shot a brow.

"Hindi ba kaka-18 mo lang?"

"Huh? Oo," kaagad kong sagot.

Ang tono ng kanyang pananalita ay nang-iinsulto.

"So...hindi ka na virgin?"

I laughed at that question. I did not expect her to ask me that.

"So, what if I'm not?" Tanong ko na may halong sarkasmo.

They all looked shocked.

"Aw. Kaya pala!" Anabelle exclaimed.

Fancheska also made a shocked look. Meanwhile, Ingrid keeps on acting as if she's not one of them. I wonder if she really doesn't like her friends' attitude.

"Bakit?" I asked again, trying to stop myself from heating up.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko. Kumakabog ang dibdib ko sa dahilang parang nakararamdam ng gulo. I just wanted to laugh this feeling out because I'm not supposed to feel scared or ashamed.

So, what if I'm a virgin? So, what if I'm not? Isn't it inappropriate to ask that question?

"Ang laswa mo kasing tingnan, Latisha. Hindi naman sa inaano kita, ha? Kaya lang...wala ka bang bra sa inyo?"

Francheska made my jaw drop. Ito na ba 'yon? Iyong mga tumatandang paurong?

"To tell you...Cai doesn't get easily attracted to flesh. I doubt if those boobs are real..." Emerald added without looking at me but to her nails instead.

"Oh my Gosh, seryoso kayo? What makes you think that I want Caio to get interested to me?" Tumaas ang kilay ko.

Jealousy. I cannot find any other reasons than that. Kaya sila nagkakaganito dahil sa inggit.

"And to tell you, these are much real than any of you."

Emerald laughed sarcastically.

"Excuse me? Your boobs aren't attractive at all! Malaki lang naman 'yan kasi malusog sa lamas!"

My palm immediately flew to her face. Halos umikot ang mukha niya sa ginawa ko.

"What's happening here?"

Suddenly, the guys came and saw how I slapped Emerald. Ramdam ko pa rin ang panginginig ng nga kamay ko. I gritted my teeth.

The four girls were dead silent. Hawak-hawak ni Emerald ang namumula niyang pisngi.

"Anong nangyari, Latisha?" Kuya Nicolai asked.

"What did you do?" Salubong ang kilay na tanong sa akin ni Caio.

I stood up in anger.

"You know what? I don't fvcking belong here!" Halos manginig ang boses ko habang sinasabi iyon at kaagad silang tinalikuran.

Someone caught my arm and pulled me. Napaikot ako at mabilis na tumama ang mukha ko sa dibdib niya.

"You're not telling me what happened," Caio said with full authority.

I smirked.

"Why don't you ask her?"

"Latisha!" Kuya Nico warned.

Lalo lang akong nainis. I strongly pulled my arm away from Cai as I shout.

"Pwede ba 'wag mo 'kong hawakan?!"

"I am asking you, what happened?" He asked, this time in a calm voice.

Before I could finally answer, Anabelle speaks.

"She's trying to seduce you kaya sinuway ni Emy! But she got mad and slapped her."

"Excuse me?!" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.

I'm trying not to say the truth lately because it felt wrong to talk it with them. Lately, I just thought of keeping this and solve this with the girls but now... they're trying to make stories.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit may pumipigil pa sa akin para sabihin ang totoo. Nag-aalanganin ako.

I gulped as I saw Cai clenching his jaw. Halatang nagulat siya.

"Is that true, Latti?" Tanong ni Kuya.

My heart raced uncontrollably making me unable to speak. My lips were trembling as if I'm going to stutter if I'll utter a word.

My cheeks were burning. I didn't know where I got my strength to ran away from them.

What the hell is happening to me?